BenFranks

Hey there! As much as I liked some of these lines I feel that you need to scrub up a bit in terms of your portrayal, perhaps spice up the ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! I think that this was just the right length to send home the affect it needed. I liked the rhythm, pace and fluency because it's ...

I really enjoyed that. :) Perfect for me, because it portrayed the affect and meaning that makes me go, "Woah ~ that's powerful." If I come away the same way ...

Hey there! My nitpick for this piece of poetry is that, although the images are strong and very affective, there's little pace. In my opinion you need to be very ...

My suggestion is with your fluency. I think you could draw more affect if this was better punctuated. All I feel I'm reading is chopped up prose because there's no ...

Hey there. I thought these lines were my favourite: In a cave below they sit in wooden carts and stare up my pant-leg like ants on a rubber-tree. I'm a ...

Hey there, just a quick poetry tip: Ellipses are disastrous and they're just as disastrous here. Never, ever use them in poetry. This just tells me that you can't convey ...

Hey As always, mystery is one of those beautiful literature perks and you've used it brilliantly here. However, like my fellow reviewer, I am slightly bewildered and this is because ...

Hey there! Wow Lydia, I think you've got some true originality here. I especially liked the first 3 stanzas before the phones. I thought the tone was constant and drawing ...

Hey! I've got to say that this is one of the best pieces of poetry I've read in a long time. It's so drawing and gripping. It entices from start ...

Heyy! This was captivating and, er, different :P In a good way. Like ab mentioned there's some lines in there to which I cannot really relate to and that would ...

Hey there! This maybe short but short's never an issue. I think I enjoyed the random but extremely poetic descriptions. There was feeling and imagery that had strength in every ...

Hey there JD! your life could be destroyed into a million pieces like shattered mirror I love this line and its what really first captivated me, that and the "dedication ...

Hullo Matt/Sam! :) I have to say that I enjoyed the message and flow of this. I think the language you've chosen is beautiful and it is easy to associate ...

Hullo! I think that this poem has potential, but it isn't really pulling through as it should because of the structure. By this I mean that your effect of chosen ...