BelarusBirdy

In a few places, it seems like the rhyme scheme is sort of holding you back. It was cutting into the meaning of the song, and I don't think that's ...

I can relate to this. If you don't mind, can I ask what it's about? You don't have to answer if it's really personal or something. Great imagery. Even if ...

It says %u2019 in the middle all over the place. Is that unintentional? Anyways, good story. You could continue it. I'm not going to say you should, because I like ...

I love this story. I didn't see anything small, no errors. I can so easily relate to this, except I burn my writings sometimes instead of dropping them in the ...

I agree. It needs to be expanded on, and imagery is really good at that. Try to add detail, because you have a good idea. I like short poetry, but ...

I see you're new, so let me welcome you to YWS. Don't take this to personally, I like to find little errors and correct them. I'm also really obsessive over ...

Awesome writing tally!I love the idea! Since I was eight, I've been hunted. I don't know why, or who, or how. But in those seven years, I've learned how to ...

I think it could be revised a bit, looking at word choice and such, but otherwise it's okay, I think. I don't want to sound harsh though. I really liked ...

I also find the rhyme scheme to be annoying at times. It lacks some flow, but the overall message is pretty good. If you need more rhymes, just say the ...

I noticed a few grammatical errors, and I'll point them out here. I'll also add a few different word choices. October 30, 1980 I saw him come from his house. ...

When I heard the beginning, I immediately predicted that he meets the twins and they'll try to eat him. I hope I'm wrong, or else it's not going to attract ...

I liked your poem. I thought that while it may not be the MOST original concept, you made it different enough that I didn't quit reading halfway through. I liked ...

This is a very beautiful poem. I have one suggestion on the wording, though. Where you say "be careful in your tread," maybe you could replace it with, "be careful ...

This is an amazing story!! I found it original and captivating. After I read the first part, I didn't glance away from the screen until the end. Very good. One ...

This is really good. I have a few little things to ask about, though. There's a few places where some of the words rhyme, but there's no consistent rhyme scheme. ...