Published June 24, 2011
Life is a cruel thing; you always want most what you can't have. I wanted him. But fates cruel hand reached out and grabbed him. And I was alone. Going about life in a normal way - after he was gone - was without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Harder than not being able to say good-bye.
Breaking down in the middle of your boss%u2019s business meeting because someone has coffee the same way as he did is not going to help. It's just going to get you fired.
I got up and walked slowly to the full-sized mirror on the dresser and realised I was crying again. My life was a wreak. My husband and soul mate had vanished and I was sure I would see him again, because I had to believe so that I would stay moderately sane. I hadn't been out of the house in a week and hadn't been dressed in three days. The phone rang then, I let the machine get it.
"Rachel?!?!?" Jess' voice called "If your there pick up...Listen, your boss called, you didn%u2019t show up for work today and he's worried about you" there was a moment of absolute stillness, then her voice broke the silence." I know your there, pick up!"
I walked slowly across the room and picked up the phone "Hey" I whispered, not managing anymore than that, a whisper.
"What%u2019s up with you?"
"I..." I couldn't find a word that explained how I felt. Lost, heart-broken and devastated all at once. There were no words.
"I feel for you, I really do" she said, trying to understand "But you can not just not show up to work!"
I was sick of her babbling.
I hung up.
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138,262 Literary Works • 672,091 Reviews
Hey there! This is a fairly interesting story, but I think it lacks some description in some parts. I wasn't exactly able to visualize fully the situation, but it got the point across.
I quote the below:
The change of tone from the first paragraph to the second seems almost abrupt, and the transition felt cut off.
Also, just some small errors here and there I'd like to point out to you:
"If you're there, pick up the phone." might sound better, for it seems awkward to have someone saying that over the phone. I read it out loud for a moment and thought it sounded strange.
"...and he's worried about you," there was a moment of...
Don't forget the comma
Same thing here,
"Hey," I whispered.
Well, that's all I have to say ^^ Good day
-Samp
Hahaha, thanks, much apreciated, think I might finnish it, I've got nothing else to do!
It says %u2019 in the middle all over the place. Is that unintentional?
Anyways, good story. You could continue it. I'm not going to say you should, because I like your ending. It might be fun if you're really bored or something.
Oh. I just figured it out. I was going to say something about apostrophes, but it says %u2019 where they're supposed to be. I have solved the mystery! Yay!