This is my first post so I'm a bit nervous, but please tell me if it's crap (or good 
). I sometimes get irritated with this rhyme scheme but I feel that it makes this poem ironic? Tell me if you disagee. Thanks.
You sit here rigid in this amusement of doom,
revolving around the fact that it will be soon.
You know it’s not long, and I you’ll turn off for good,
but you feel fine in this white, open livelihood.
You’re turning upwards and down, again and again.
Waiting for the time to come, the time to ascend.
For the lord to claim you and look into your face,
And tell you that this is it, this is the top place.
You won’t feel pain again, emotional or not,
happier there than ever life is in this muffled, white cot.
And you won’t ever be lonely, you will be loved,
And you would be a perfect fit; securely gloved.
Contained within this surreal, bittersweet, white dream,
There is no hurt and things are better than they seem.
Remember there’s no ache, but neither is there joy,
You realize to some, you’re worth a discarded toy.
You recall thinking about them mourning your name.
You were granted your wish, but in this is no gain.
Your loved ones’ faces swim, smiling at you in vain;
Who’d know someone like you could cause them this much pain?
But that is the future and you are still alive,
Laying near- content in this tedious, white hive.
Calm, but deterring the dread from taking a hold,
You are potent now but how long will you stay bold?
Ҩʪ
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Hi again
and I am extremely happy that you like it! 
This may sound really weird but this was based on a dream I had.. it wasn't particularly based in a fairground but it was definately based on a ferris wheel, but everywhere was white. Obviously, it's about death. The character is waiting to die, in a ferris wheel, but with the "white" essence of a hospital ward.
I definately agree with you about the flow and rhymes and stuff. I wrote this like a year ago, so it needs to be updated.
I will improve it,
Again thanks for commenting
Hi! I'm here to review!
.
It's an okay poem. You should be more creative with your rhyming and branch out to different words. It doesn't need to end the same for it to rhyme.
The flow needs to be fixed a bit also, in some places it's kind of BLEH! hehe. Just because the lines are the same length and it rhymes, doesn't mean it sounds all that great.
I like your idea but in the beginning (if not for the title) I'd seriously have no idea what you're talking about. Please explain that you're at an amusement park or something. Like express all the colors of the park and stuff like that.
Above all, I really like this
I also find the rhyme scheme to be annoying at times. It lacks some flow, but the overall message is pretty good. If you need more rhymes, just say the end of a word with every consonant at the beginning or Google it. Sometime reading it aloud helps you find what you need to change to make the poem have more flow.
The message is good, but I think you went about it kind of unsure of where you were going. Either that, or you didn't know how to structure it. I think that counting syllables could help, but if you make it so each line has eight syllables, it sounds a little less real, more like you were trying to make it perfect.