Azila

Oh, and reading it over another time I noticed that you use hyphens a lot... Especially in the paragraph where you describe Patricia. And "coffee-shop" I don't even thing aught ...

Thanks Kylan smorgishborg and kitty15! Kylan: I sis edit it so that (hopefully) the animals are less Disney-ish. borg: I was thinking along those lines: that the storm itself is ...

Umm... the reason it isn't working now is because the link is in quotes which aren't necessary. :wink: ~Azila~

Looking back on it now that I'm more coherent, I feel like we could use a LITTLE background. Just because you give her good clothes as an excuse for not ...

Much better now! Just make sure you add in some description of her background in chapters to come! (it could even be something like: 'I hadn't realized until now how ...

Thanks for the review, Ayra! To tell you the truth I'd almost forgotten about this piece. :oops: So thanks for bringing it back to my attention. Your suggestion about the ...

Much better. :wink: Now get to work on the next chapter! Do you want to KILL us with suspense? :D ~Azila~

This definitely isn't poetry. I think it would fit in Other Fiction, though. I'll go get someone to move it, I'm sure it will be much happier there... ~Azila~

Why did you delete it? I want to read it. :( ~Azila~

i think i was tired when i posted it, and forgot to double-check. sorry. No problem. Thanks for clarifying. :wink: Hmmm... I've been seeing a lot of warewolf stories on ...

I found another Native American name that means wolf: Tala. In case you are interested. Of your choices, I like Wenona and Talulah --possibly Wenona a tad more than Talulah. ...

I really like the idea of this. But there isn't enough to give a real opinion, so please PM me when you post more... okay? Thanks, and happy writing!! ~Azila~

Any time! I really liked reading it. PM me when you post something else, ok? ~Azila~ P.S. The reason why the link in your signature isn't working is because there ...

I love this. I do agree with Misty that you should suck the reader in more, though. Didn't you put this in the beginning of "Chap1"?? Anyway, keep up the ...

Oh, and how are you supposed to pronounce Deuce? That's been bugging me for a while. Anybody else gonna review this?? ~Azila~