I am conscious that this isn't quite a poem, but it just wouldn't fit elsewhere.
Enjoy and critique please!!!
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Shopping
When shopping, you encounter many challenges. You enter the mall and bump with the coolest shop around; “I’ll get a shirt!” You think as you enter the stall and a swirl of a.c breeze unpleasantly brushes your face. You take hours deciding upon the blue shirt or the pink shirt. And once more, the opportunity cost appears; “If I buy the blue shirt, I won’t buy the pink one; but if I buy the pink one, I won’t be able to buy the blue one...” After you have decided upon which dazzling shirt to buy, you obviously find another problem; “Now that I only have $10 left, should I buy an ice cream or a candy bag?” First, you march toward the ice cream stall. When you see all those frozen colors you can’t help but to drool, but as soon as you head to the candy store and see all those sugary shapes, you can’t help but to continuously lick your lips in a desire to have one of them. So now you know, that when shopping, you must know what you want and how much you can afford.
Tessia T.
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Canary word: Present
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Lol
I thought it was very ingenous and certainly true.
I loved the part when you mention; "...as you enter the stall and a swirl of a.c breeze unpleasantly brushes your face."
It happens to me everytime, and it's most definately annoying!!
Since it's not a story or a poem, I'd picture it as a comedy monologue.
It may not quite be a monologue, but if you changed some things and wrote it in first person you might come out with a VERY hilarious monologue.
Janis
P.s- We should build up a "Monologue duo" because I have noticed that you're quite an expert on them, too.
moved to Other Fiction
This definitely isn't poetry. I think it would fit in Other Fiction, though.
I'll go get someone to move it, I'm sure it will be much happier there...
~Azila~