Azila

*ehem* you were supposed to TELL me when you posted more!! Anyway... This is pretty good. I like the feel of this better than #2, but I'm not sure the ...

Aww, this was sweet. I think the owner's reaction could have been a little more--dramatic. I don't know, but it felt to me that the owner took the death of ...

I agree with Camille that this piece isn't as good as the first one. Though there aren't many spelling/grammatical errors, there's a lot of tense-changing. Also, The whole thing felt ...

This is really good, Camille! I love the mood you set and all. I really think this is my favorite description I've seen from you! And your paragraphs are much ...

Wow! This piece is stunning! You capture the peaceful solitude of winter (not to mention the brittle serenity of a doe) beautifully! Really, I noticed very few mistakes... good job! ...

This was pretty good. I liked the message, but I think (and no, I'm nowhere near an expert in poetry) that some of the rhythm was a little off. I ...

This is ok. You need a lot more description, though, because it's almost ALL dialogue. And I hate to admit it, but I found myself drifting and skimming. Try to ...

Alright... I think (as, apparently, do all the other critiquers) that this could be good if there was a little more description. Right now it's almost all dialogue and the ...

Well, I think author13 and VampX13 pretty much covered it all. This piece is okay, but the flow needs to be worked on. Right now it feels a little--dry. There's ...

Hi there, and welcome to the YWS! I find that when you use the "pre" feature it makes your text come out in a really weird font that I have ...

I recommend NEVER using the "pre" setting for posting your stories on these forums. It makes the text in a really weird font that (I think) is really hard on ...

Ooh, I really like the idea of this poem! I loved the line about the melted snowflake mixing with the tears... and the lines about the 'whimsical wind' --really effective. ...

But Azila's contest is for entries written from an animal's point of view...:? No it's not. It's an animal OR an inanimate object. :wink: Anyway, I like the piece! But ...

I really liked this! The idea and plot are very original and refreshing. I think this should be moved to Fantasy Fiction, though... Overall I think you need to add ...

Wow, that was hilarious! Not to mention really well written. I love the format where there's a short paragraph, then a line, then a short paragraph, then a line... and ...