Azila

Hi, there! I just reviewed your "chapter one" and I didn't even realize that there was a prologue! :oops: So here I am to review your prologue. :D Few humans ...

If you don’t think its going to be fun, most likely that you’ll choose not to go, and if you still decide to go, then you shouldn’t have. This should ...

Hi, Stella! Nitpicks first... We sat with our rifles over our shoulders against the wall, Da and I. The sun was rising. Da pulled his cap off and stared up ...

I have to admit -- I only skimmed this. You want to know why? It's because you used that "pre" feature. I find it really hard to read, because it ...

Hi, Prok! Here's my review, I hope it lives up to what you wanted! If Timothy Weaver ever told the truth, it was a half-truth, and Tim Weaver didn't tell ...

Hi there, Lupis! *gasp* You changed her name! :shock: What was wrong with 'Deuce'? Anyway, onto the nitpicks: Not bothering to brush [s]through[/s] her hair, she wandered downstairs, finding Chessie�

Hi, Jas! Nitpicks first, as always. Her hope had been beautiful and enchanting, but it seemed to have the life span of a butterfly. "Lifespan" is one word. ^_~ She ...

Hi there, Kyte! I only have two nitpicks... A grizzled old man steppe out of the haze, carrying several tomes over his arms. That should be "stepped." ^_~ It's just ...

Yes, please write out your words properly! (i.e. say "you" rather that "u" and "are" rather than "r") It will gain you much more respect around here. Also, we request ...

Hello! Wow. this was really creepy!! :shock: Anyway, I'll talk more about that later. Nitpicks first. “I hate her,” she chanted over and over again. This is completely a matter ...

Yes, 'tis a bit cliché, but I don't actually mind that. Before angry mobs begin to flock my dining room, screeching that I'm not fit to critique, I will explain ...

Hi, Stella! You say I can be brutal? Oh goody goody! Nit-picks first... Mam was teary for weeks, and we could hear her sobbing from her and Dad’s room. The ...

Hi there! Nitpicks first... She was elusive. Always quiet and eyes trained on whatever new book had caught her eye this week. I suggest you make the period (after "elusive") ...

Hi there, and welcome to the YWS! Nitpicks first... The trampoline squeaked as Payton jumped, up to the sky. There shouldn't be a comma after "jumped." ^_~ The birds were ...

Shucks! I had so many good line-by-line "correct the flow" type nitpicks. Oh well, that's not what you want. Why don't I answer your questions instead? 1) Are the characters ...