Azila

Hello! This is, of course, after I’ve been woken up by a button being pushed. This would go better as "after I've been woken up by the push of a ...

You say you want grammatical help? That's what I'll give you, then. :twisted: The random bleep of items being scanned echoed through the large, marble tiled grocery. There are two ...

*ehem* Why didn't you PM me about this, Missy? Do you want me to stop giving you critiques or something? Haha, just kidding... :wink: Derik came forward a few more ...

Hello! Are you new to the YWS? I don't think I've seen you around before. Welcome! -Nitpicks- Snow blew from all sides with fierce winds pushing them. Pushing who? I ...

Can you please spread out your paragraphs? Because there are no indentations here on the YWS, it gets really hard to read if your paragraphs are too big. Example: “The ...

EEP! Can you please get rid of the "pre" setting? It is so hard on the eyes. Just make sure that you put a space between all of your paragraphs ...

-Nitpicks- Females paced around the camp tending to the young , the old, and the sickly. All was sound as the young laid down with litter mates and mothers. Repetition ...

Hello! It always took about a half minute and he was used to stepping aside a foot and rearranging his suit using the reflection in the mirror-like wall paneling. Two ...

Hello! I'm reporting for duty. I hope that when you said I should critique your poetry you didn't have a certain one in mind, 'cause I just picked at random ...

**Complimentary Contest Critique** -Nitpicks- "Jase!" I screamed between splutters, as the thick, pungent smoke slowly smothered my breath. "Where are-." This should be: "Jase!" I screamed between spl

Hi! Slipping dread adorned a dimly lit café, its interior like the sallow skin of the despondent. Shouldn't that be "dimly-lit"? Eventually the world is what you say it is, ...

Hi, Sokool! -Nitpicks- She jumped as the phone rang shrilly. She leapt over and snatched it, her voice trembling with hope as she answered. Both these sentences start with "she." ...

Hello! I have returned. :twisted: -Nitpicks- Jo had been doing a lot of thinking about David lately… You can just say "she" rather than "Jo" here--I think it would be ...

Hello! -Nitpicks- She shoved a dandelion into her mother's hand, scattering seeds on her mother's skirt as she did. This repetition kind of bothers me. Idly, she hummed and twirled ...

Hello! You know, that line - the one that divides nations then rebuilds them. This is the only part I didn't like. It feels out of place because you don't ...