Archer

Interesting chapter! There seems to be a general amount of mirth in it, which I liked quite a bit. I also very much enjoy the way it ended. Though I'm ...

Again well-written, and I feel like I should take back some of my earlier criticism of "they act like people, not mice" because of this bit: With that, he turned ...

I thought this was pretty good, and I'll be reading chapter 20 here soon! As I haven't read the previous chapters though, I'll have to keep my critique mostly to ...

This is how stream of consciousness should be done. Too often, I see poets just write down whatever comes to mind and then they call it "stream of consciousness." But ...

I thought this was very well written. You have a good knack for dialogue. At this point, what I'd suggest mainly is cutting out any excess words. For example: “T-th-that’s ...

I like very much the general idea of this story: a science-fiction epic set underwater. I also like how the story progresses, and while there are some pacing problems, it ...

The theme I'm getting from this poem is of a person trying to put back together the pieces of a ruined but once deep relationship. That relationship has been strong ...

This struck me as a profoundly spiritual poem with the speaker being akin to a doubting Thomas. That is, just as Thomas could not accept the Resurrection until he saw ...

Very vivid descriptions! There were a couple that didn't work though. The epitome of magic was held within this house, as though it had been duct taped onto the walls ...

I really don't think there's anything to add beyond what ethereal already said! I think she pretty much covered everything. But... I'll try. As ethereal already noted, the pacing is ...

This kind of reminds me of beat poetry; not because of the drug experimentation but more so because of the unequivocal embrace of hedonism on the part of the speaker. ...

Hello, hello! I completely agree with Ossum. At the moment, it seems like the focal point of this poem is "Your policies are shit," but it falls somewhat flat because ...

Huh? I'm really sorry, but I didn't follow this at all. I've reread it a couple times, but I still can't follow the plot. It seems like Harry, Hermione, and ...

Interesting story. Although there are some areas that need polish, I think you write very well. I saw no grammatical mistakes, the story flowed along naturally if a bit fast, ...

Big difference between the two excerpts! Your writing style is more refined in the second excerpt, and there are far fewer grammatical errors. The second excerpt, though, feels like it ...