Dead Seed

Hi!
It occurred to me (again) that I owe you some reviews, so here's this one.
I like this poem. Tis a good poem. You presented it very well, and the reader can clearly see what's going on. You use great imagery to your advantage.

I'm glad you mentioned that this is related to heroin-usage, because I'm not sure I would figure it out otherwise. But I might have. You do use several drug-related words.
I think there are only a few things that you can fix to make this any better.

First, I'm not quite sure what your reasoning is behind choosing "dead seed" as what to base your poem around, but I think "death seed" would work better. "dead" implies that the seed is dead, and "death" implies that it brings death, which is what I think you're trying to say.
You have a lot of great feeling imagery in here, but not a lot that the reader can really relate to. I've never felt what it's like to be throttled by a ghost, or to have a banshee bite my arms/neck. While these are both great images, I feel like adding a little bit more would help the reader feel more immersed in the poem. I was kind of reading this passively; I had little empathy for the narrator. Maybe elude to what got him addicted in the first place? experimentation? Lost hope? depression? I think more people will connect with whatever made the narrator start the heroine because not everyone does heroine, but most people do experience some kind of thing that might lead some people to start it. I hope that made sense.
about punctuation: I think it would be nice to see some actual punctuation, but this poem is understandable without it, and it kind of makes sense why you wouldn't have it.

Right here, I'm just going to agree with everything Archer said. Everything. Just pretend I said it.
Anyway, there wasn't much that I saw that needed to be fixed. This was a down-right good poem. It just didn't bring tears or any real emotion to me. Maybe it wasn't supposed to.
Good job, Keep writing!
~fortis

I really liked it. We all sometimes choose a wrong way. This reminds me of myself and my mistakes. The most I liked this part:
I cannot decide what is worse:
Heaven or Hell
Because either way I'm screwed

hey there...so i see that you choosed heruin as a subject in your piece i wasnt expecting to find an expressive song like this one , you know because its not a usual sub ..... anyway it was very good and i liked how you conclused your song '' i shiver within minutes of no h''........''you call it a death trap ''.......''i call it nirvana .....the dead seed..........keep writing

This kind of reminds me of beat poetry; not because of the drug experimentation but more so because of the unequivocal embrace of hedonism on the part of the speaker. He explicitly rejects the advice of others in favor of what he calls nirvana while acknowledging that his existence is hell.

But, I would've liked to see that rejection done in a more broad manner. Those who use narcotics often suffer from an almost complete lack of self-awareness. For a great example of this, check out Breaking Bad -- especially the sixth episode of the second season (Peekaboo). In that episode, you see the inside of a meth addicts home, including the deplorable state in which their young son is forced to live.

Here, though, the user seems all too self-aware in the last stanza. Far from totally brushing aside what other people say, he's actively pushing back against it, which means he's at least internalizing it somewhat. I think it would work better if instead you concentrated on his needs (e.g., "I need warmth," "I call it nirvana").

Anyhow, couple of grammar issues in the first stanza (it's should just be its), but I like the first two stanzas quite a bit. You do a good job of conveying the speaker's mental state through an effective use of imagery. I also like the adjectives you use (e.g., shaking, funny, uncontrollably). It altogether puts together a picture of a man who is on his last ropes.

I have never done drugs, but imagine it would be like this. Like I have no choice or it doesn't matter because I need to do it. This was good, it lets the reader know what it's like to do drugs from a druggies perspective instead of a factual one. I would like to point out a few things.

1) 'It's wings expand' (2)
I think the rhythm would flow better if you change 'expand' to 'expanded'.

2)'I cannot decide what is worse:
Heaven or Hell
Because either way I'm screwed'
I love this stanza. It makes people have to think about it at least slightly.

3) 'I shiver within minutes of no H' (22)
Honestly, this poem/song is amazing, but I don't like how it says 'of no H' in this line. You should really consider changing that to something like 'I shiver within minutes without it' or something like that. I know it points out what this poem/song is about, but sometimes it's best to have unspoken truths.

Keep up the good work. Happy writing. : )