Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
Chapter 18:
Flekkanos opened his eyes wide in panic at the sound of two mice plodding through the muddy swamp. Had Tulun and Tyranos found him already?
It was near sunset now, and even after two days Fleck hadn’t moved from the pile of sticks. He’d stretched his legs maybe once or twice, but that was when he wasn’t afraid.
A breeze blew through his fur, but he refused to let his fur puff out to keep him warm. The leaf scroll he’d left out rustled beside him and then flew out, blocking the crack. He instinctively reached out to grab it, but stopped.
“What’s this?” a familiar voice asked. There were a couple grunts, once more familiar, yet Fleck couldn’t put a paw on the voice. It wasn’t Tulun, though. The branches in the small pile shook as she climbed up the branch. As a paw gripped the leaf and pulled back, Fleck held his breath. His breath nearly flew out at the sight of someone he’d never see out here.
“Nera?” he whispered, all reserve forgotten.
Nera’s eyes widened, but she appeared to stop herself and narrowed her eyes. She put a paw to her mouth for silence. “It wasn’t anything, Wren. Just a leaf.”
“Written on?” a fierce voice growled.
“Of course not, Wren.” Nera cast a look inside the pile at Fleck and climbed down and out of Fleck’s sight. Then Fleck saw Wren. She was a dark reddish mouse with only one eye. Fleck stood stark still, hoping Wren didn’t look in. He’d easily be given away if she did.
“Well, then I suppose he’s not here.” A scimitar swung at Wren’s side.
“He was,” she replied slowly. Fleck saw her hind paws digging into the swampy mud, a sign she was lying. In his head, he thanked her.
“I’ll check under the bridge. You stay here.” The red mouse closed her eye and walked away from the pile of sticks. “And remember the bridge.”
Fleck blinked and saw Nera give an exaggerated salute, her toes digging the ground up in clumps. She stood still for a few seconds, Fleck maintaining the statue-like demeanour. Fleck heard the one-eyed mouse break into a run.
“Alright, it’s safe,” Nera whispered.
Fleck reached his head out tentatively, enjoying the fresh air on his snout, but stopped, twitching his whiskers. “Sorry, Nera. I’m already running from Tulun and Tyranos.” He paused, motioning Nera in with stiff arms. “And I don’t trust that Wren mouse.”
Nera climbed in through the crack she pulled the leaf from. She clutched it in her paws rigidly, nodding as she took a step in. “Good thing you don’t trust her.” Nera breathed deeply, sitting on the wet wood. “We-We were sent to kill you guys.”
Fleck sat upright, hitting his head on the wet wood. Rubbing it, he looked at her incredulously. “What? And you- you agreed?” Fleck backed away unconsciously, gripping at his glass spear.
“No. I agreed to get out of Wolf Plains. Trill didn’t even tell us what was going on until we were out,” she defended, raising her paws to calm him down.
Fleck tried to keep calm, but the thought that his best friend was sent to kill him set his nerves in a disarray. After all the death that’d happen in the past few days, it was completely understandable. “And you didn’t turn back?”
“Where’d I go? Trill tried killing me because I said that. Roz’s gone completely mad…” she said, her voice raising in pitch, yet stayed a shrill whisper. “She sent us on this!” She shoo her head wildly, like she was explaining something to a hopper.
Fleck used to be alright with being treated like Nera always did to him, making him feel stupid, but now it was different. Edvard’d taught him a few things. And standing up was one of them. “So. That’s your only reason.” His voice stayed deathly calm, though Fleck felt his pulse rushing through his ears.
There was silence in the pile of wood for a few moments, and Nera lifted a scroll from her satchel, which had the seams that held a Guild Sign torn off of it. Had she… had she gone Guildless? “Well, look what I snitched from Trill’s satchel,” she said coldly. She didn’t make eye contact with Fleck as she held a leaf scroll.
Fleck’s eyes caught the H with two lines above it. “Let’s read it.” Even with the events, he couldn’t help his curiosity, which got him into this mess.
Nera unrolled it silently, sighing a couple times as Fleck’s eyes ran over it. Her eyes widened first, and Fleck didn’t even move. It explained the first note perfectly, and left Fleck completely indifferent. Highwhisker’d sent them on a mission that was completely phony. He was just explaining it. Then his eyes hit the bottom of the note.
Nera held Fleck’s head up first, biting her lip. Her silver fur, illuminated orange in the sunset light, bristled. “You know what this means?”
Fleck didn’t read it, so he didn’t, in fact. His brown eyes just said a silent no.
“You’re the next leader of Wolf Plains. Unless Roz gets to him first.”
Fleck raised his brows. “Why’d Roz get to Highwhisker?” he asked, coolly tilting his head.
“The laws say females could never be ‘Whisker unless they challenge the ‘Whisker to the death and win,” Nera read carefully, saying every word slowly. Fleck understood it already. She didn’t need to say it like that.
Fleck nodded with an ice-cold stare. “Then we’ve got to go.” His voice started to raise. “Now!”
The sun was setting now, and the best time to run would be night time, where the other expedition wouldn’t be awake. Maybe Tulun and Tyranos would be asleep, too.
***
Tyranos caught sight of a group of three mice, stepping lightly through the mud from the night before’s rain. “Is that Trill?” he wondered aloud. The leader of the group had the same dark grey coat and the same yellow eyes. It had to be her.
He asked again, looking at Tulun. She stayed silent, averting her eyes. “Is it?”
Tyranos gave a guttural sigh, but didn’t say anything afterwards.
“You shouldn’t have killed him,” Tulun said. “Mother might’ve taught us to not let anything stand in our way, but…”
“We were raised Frozenmoon, Tulun.” After being told all about her dreams, he told her the other things in return, yet he wouldn’t tell Tulun any more about Kyran. She didn’t need to know more about that monster than she already did.
“I was raised Wolf Plains,” she shot back.
“Shush,” Tyranos said. “They’re coming.” He stood up tall, white fur bristling. “Trill?” he asked. Looking at the mouse, it was definitely her. Her dark grey fur nearly shone in the sunset light.
“It’s so… so… nice to see you again.” Trill smiled warmly, and Tyranos felt a warmth in him, one that made his fur stand on end.
“You’re alive?” he sputtered, a smile growing on his face. “How-why are you out here?”
Trill’s smile disappeared. “Yeah. You wanted me dead?”
“No! I-I didn’t mean to.”
“No, it’s alright, it’s fine,” Trill said, waving a paw in the direction of some long grass. “It’s okay. We’ll be done with you, and it’ll all be forgotten.” She flashed a crafty grin at Tyranos and turned around to the other mice behind her. Terris and Shayn. Tulun backed away.
“What do you mean ‘done with?’” she asked, looking beside her for something.
“Rozalin sent us on a mission. And trust me, I didn’t want to do it, but you reminded me you nearly killed me… Minds change so quickly, don’t they?” Trailing a spear along the dirt, she raised it and whispered something beneath her breath. Tyranos only caught the word ‘Hazelwood.’ Trill looked back at the other two, who held emotionless glares. “Terris, Shayn.” She flicked her whiskers. “Kill them.”
“Wait,” Tyranos said, lowering his ears. “You’re telling me that you’re going on this… to kill others… for your father? A mutinous, bitter, old toad?” Tyranos splayed his claws out, hoping he could still hold them off, yet his legs still had the wounds from Fleck’s shard. He wouldn’t be able to even move.
Fantastic timing, Fleck.
“Do not. Disrespect. My father,” she seethed, clenching her teeth. “He died for what he believe in. Nothing else matters.”
“He died for his own mad desires.” Tyranos limped in front of Tulun, holding his claws out. If they were going to get Tulun, they’d get through him first. “Which rolled downhill in ways they shouldn’t have done. Ever,” he shot back with a glare at Trill. She looked like she could break out at any moment, but this wasn’t the mouse he fell in love with. And Trill needed to know that.
“Is that all you think of it? Shayn. Terris. After Tulun. I’ll deal with Tyranos on my own,” she said, cold fury dripping from the words. She held her spear up and lunged. Tyranos hopped out of the way, clenching his teeth so he didn’t grunt in pain.
He looked up at the aspen tree above him, and a dark earth-coloured shape appeared on it. Its tail bushed out, and fiery amber dots glared down at the scene below.
Tyranos got a look at Tulun, who was stumbling away quickly, holding her small paws out in preparation of fighting. He jumped again, eyes trained on Tulun. As he stumbled Trill’s blade cut through the fur on his arm and going through skin. Tyranos cried in pain quietly, but not enough to give Trill satisfaction. If she got any.
Trill and Terris walked closer to Tulun, holding their blades up high. She didn’t have a chance.
“No!” he shouted, leaping. Shayn caught his fall, crumpling to the ground beneath his weight. Tyranos grunted, trying to get up. He rolled over as Trill swung down. She paused as soon as her blade didn’t catch empty air, but Shayn. He cried out, and Trill tried to pull her blade out. Tyranos got up, cringing as he put any weight at all on his legs.
Once more, he looked up at the tree. There was the squirrel, creeping closer down. Then Tyranos recognized the amber-eyed squirrel.
Trill pulled her blade up from Shayn, the sickening sound of bone snapping ringing in his ears. “Terris, don’t stop.”
Tyranos limped forwards and bent down. He pulled Shayn’s scimitar up and looked down at it. Trill walked at him, a crafty smile on her face. Tyranos held the blade and he dodged the sideways swing that Trill threw, but just barely.
Terris, a mouse that was usually a friend to Tulun and Tyranos, wasn’t stopping, though he seemed to walk slower with every step. His near-white fur bristled more and more. He raised his blade…
Without a second thought, Tyranos threw his blade, but instead of Tulun catching it, Terris did. And Terris was good with double-blades.
“Tulun!” he shouted. The sound of branches rustling hit his ears, and Tyranos jumped to the side as Trill lunged. He looked up for just that spare second he had. The squirrel leaped down from the aspen tree, holding his claws out.
“Leurce,” Tyranos said, but no smile grew on his face. Why hadn’t he helped before? Before Shayn died?
“Tyranos,” the dark brown squirrel said, narrowing his eyes. “Need help?”
Recognition began to play on Tulun’s face, though masked by fear.
“Help Tulun.” Tyranos limped back, his black spotted paws covered in mud.
Without a second thought, the Frozenmoon squirrel leaped at Terris from behind, pushing him into the ground. “Captain Tulun, you need to leave.” Terris gasped in pain as the squirrel put all his weight on the creamy mouse’s neck. A bone snapped, but Tyranos wasn’t nearly as unsettled. He’d seen Leurce do it before. But with Trill, it was completely new.
Trill widened her eyes and began to walk away from Leurce. Leurce turned around. “Now do you, my Captain Tyranos, need any help?” he asked politely, though it always hid a maliciousness. Leurce didn’t even wait for an answer. He leaped forwards, bushy tail trailing out behind him. He pinned Trill down and leaned over, before Tyranos raised his paws. “Wait, Leurce!”
Leurce raised his tufted ears and turned his head. “Yes?”
Tyranos looked at the two. Both looked ready to kill something, but Tyranos’ heart shrivelled at the thought of ordering Trill’s death. “Don’t kill her. She’s my friend.”
Leurce looked at her and curled his lips, but stood up anyway. He glared down at Trill, and kicked the scimitar from her paws. “Then what do you want to do with her?
“Officer Leurce,” Tyranos began, looking down at Trill, who was standing up, “I’m just a captain. You didn’t need to follow my orders.”
“Your parents are dead. You’re the king now,” he shot back without even a second of thought.
Tyranos looked down. He didn’t want to be reminded of Tandrai. “Well, then let me talk to her.” Tyranos walked in front of Leurce, grabbing Trill’s paw. He sighed and looked into her yellow eyes, both pairs of eyes blazing. Trill began to back away, and Tyranos let her go. “If you try and attack us again, Trill, I won’t let you go.” His face fell, realizing he was in the same possibility as the scene with the sling. Except this time, he was promising he would really kill her. “Understood?”
Trill nodded and began backing away. She broke into a run, looking down at her paws.
Tyranos looked back at Leurce and Tulun, feeling tears at his eyes. He looked down at his legs, cut and slashed from Fleck’s sharp blade. He touched his legs, wincing every time his paw hit a spot deeper than normal.
“Officer Leurce,” Tyranos said evenly. “Are there any other Frozenmoon mice left?”
“They’ve been looking for you guys for the past four seasons.”
“How many?” Tyranos looked at him steadily, clenching his jaw in pain.
“Only five of us yet. Hoof Spots came back only five seasons ago.”
Tyranos looked down, his paws digging into the mud. “Then take Tulun there. I’ll be back in a few days.”
Leurce smiled calmly. “Then we’ll have your coronation when you come back, my king.”
Tyranos shook his head. “No. I’m just a friend for now. Act like it,” Tyranos said, smiling. He looked back out over the fields. “Please.”
The squirrel nodded, his fur laying flat. “Alright.” He took Tulun in his port arm and nodded. “I’ll take her to camp. And meet me at the crabapple tree when you’re ready.” Leurce pointed out in the distance, where there was a dim shape of a dead tree.
“Got it.” Tyranos took one limping step and headed back from where he came. Fleck nearly guaranteed the loss of that battle. He’d done exactly what Edvard did; toyed with a mouse’s life instead of ending it right then and there. Of course Tyranos didn’t want Edvard to kill Tulun right there, but… never mind. Fleck made a grave mistake.
***
Nera pulled Fleck to the side, and the brown mouse nearly fell into the grass. Maybe that was what Nera intended. “What was that about?” he asked, but was silenced by Nera pointing at the bridge. The mouse Nera called Wren was standing on the bridge, and it seemed as if she was keeping watch for someone.
Nera stepped out form behind a clump of fescue. How had he not noticed how quickly she moved? “I was supposed to meet them at the bridge. If she sees you with me, she’ll kill us both.”
Fleck shrunk in his fur and nodded.
“Nera, is that you?” the mouse on the bridge called. Fleck jumped back into the grass, crouching low.
Nera looked back at Fleck, her face creased into a fake smile. “Yea. It’s me.” Fleck waited for her to stop, but she didn’t. “Just me and only me.” Fleck buried his head in the grass. Nera turned back to Fleck. “Go, you stupe.”
The sound of grass shaking form side to side made Fleck shrink further in his fur.
Nera held a face of realization, before looking down and kicking dirt away. “Oh, Nera, what’ve you done? I’ve blown it. Blown it so bad-”
Wren stepped in front of Nera, her red-brown fur laying flat on her back. “You killed him?” Fleck his breath to avoid being given away. “You were out there for a long time.”
“Er, I didn’t find him,” she stuttered. Nera’s paws dug into the mud.
Fleck sunk lower into the patch of fescue grass. Great Hawk, if Wren found him, Nera’d be the first to go. It didn’t even matter if he was caught. Everyone else in the world seemed to have this vendetta against him, what would it matter if there was one more mouse?
“You paused, Burrower. Don’t hide things from me,” Wren said, the warning disguised by a sweet tone. Through the grass, he saw Nera blink in fear. Wren stepped closer, crunching dead leaves beneath her feet. “If you’re lying, it won’t end up right.”
Nera stepped back, her feet digging themselves completely in. “What?” she cracked a false laugh, “Of course I’m not lyin’! I’m telling the truth here…” Fleck saw Nera reach for her own blade, ready to pull it out at any given time.
Wren laughed, glaring with her one eye. “Bet you are. Now tell the truth. If I didn’t find him, you must’ve been…” Wren paused, looking up at the orange sky. “Leading me on a false trail, eh?”
Nera looked back at Fleck, eyes wide in fear.
“Now tell me one more time. Did you find him?” she asked calmly.
“N-No.”
“You are a liar,” Wren smiled. She ripped the blade form Nera’s paws and threw it away. She kicked Nera to the swampy dirt. Fleck tried to move, but once more was so caught in his own… cowardice… that he couldn’t even help his best friend.
“I for one, am loyal to our leader, Burrower. Disobey Trill, lie about it… If you told the truth, you might’ve been loyal. Right.” Wren looked down at Nera. “To. The. Death.” She raised her own scimitar, and Fleck tried to move. He found his legs did move at the sight of Nera there on the ground. Fleck reached into his satchel and grabbed the glass shard. His limbs were mobile now, with adrenaline pumping through every single cell in them.
“Just run, Nera!” Fleck shouted, though he nearly instantly covered his mouth up after. Nera didn’t even move as Wren turned to face the Gatherer.
Fleck looked down at the blade, that still had Tyranos’ blood on it. “Leave her alone.” Fleck looked down at himself. It’d come from nowhere. Maybe it was the sight of another mouse about to die that set his switch off. Even he didn’t know.
He didn’t even move back as Wren smiled. “Flekkanos, is it?” she asked, the grin growing more devilish by the second. She swung her blade forward, slashing Fleck on the arm. He tried to move, but he didn’t. He held the blade forwards, and took one step, two steps, three. He held the shard in front of him, and with both paws, swung to the side.
He didn’t even notice where he hit- he didn’t want to look. Fleck just grabbed Nera’s paw and pulled her from the ground. Nera gasped, looking straight back, but she too began to run. She leaped onto all fours, getting past any speed that Fleck could get at. Fleck padded down on all fours to catch up with Nera, dropping his blade in his satchel, mostly empty and supply-less. He didn’t even dare to glance back at the mouse he killed.
Chapter 19:
Trill looked up at the sky and hen at the rusted gates in front of her. She ran a paw through her fur, wet with sweat and rain. Whether the sweat was from stress or the time she spent running to get back, she didn’t know. On that thought, how many days had it been since…? Two? Three?
Trill shook her head. She just knew that if she screwed this up, she’d have no place to go. And if she was out of Wolf Plains, her influence would sure as heck be done.
She looked down at her paws and then at the Guildless complex behind the gates. What would her father say? Anything to get higher? He’d be disappointed in her? She clenched her fists, suspense welling in her chest. She didn’t even know her father, yet she felt closer to him than he did Tyranos. Whom she tried to kill for one mistake.
Trill took a few tentative steps on the gravel, trying to keep her paws moving. She shouldn’t be afraid. She’d made a few mistakes for what she believed in. And Hazelwood was more important than Tyranos. At least, that’s what she tried telling herself. She pushed her dark grey fur flat and held a paw to her nose, rubbing a finger along the dark patch above her nose.
Maybe that’d bring her luck.
She took a turn beneath the pine trees, and stopped at the sight of another mouse, guarding the entrance.
“Trill,” one of them said, his brown fur flat. “You’re back?”
“Yeah. I’m back,” she snapped. The nerves must’ve been getting to her. “What’re you doing?”
“We’re Guarding,” another said simply. “And we found you, didn’t we?”
Trill sighed, exasperated. “We aren’t part of a Guild. Stop acting like it,” was all she said. She stepped forwards, holding her paws out as she jumped down a skylight.
Bad mistake.
She landed on nearly four other mice who were walking through the tunnels. She’d only landed on Tyranos walking down the tunnel once, and that was back when she was a trainee. Good thing she left the wooden spear out of Wolf Plains or she’d have hurt one of them. Like she didn’t hurt Tyranos. Well, she hit his foreleg, but she didn’t kill him.
Rozalin ordered her to kill all of them, yet the only one who died actually died before they even got there. She hung her head. She was doing all she could for the Guildless, yet she couldn’t even do what she was told. Was she even able to be the Guildless’ leader?
Trill shook her thoughts away and shrugged a quick sorry, a Guard symbol that she couldn’t shake off, even if she wasn’t a Guard any more.
Trill turned a corner and looked in the Gua-Guildless common room. There was Rozalin, crossing her arms, back turned to Trill. There of course was a skylight in the Guildless common room, though it was covered by a fallen pine branch.
Rozalin turned around and gave a nonplussed smile. “Trill,” she said, waving a paw. “Where’re everyone else?”
Trill’s mouth went dry. Now came the lie. “They fought to the bitter end.” That was it. Her tone sounded uncertain, like Trill herself didn’t know whether it was Terris and Shayn that fought to the end or it was the expedition. If she was following the lie, it was the expedition and her fellow mice. If she was following the truth, then it was just Terris and Shayn.
It might’ve sounded more natural in her head, but it was still believable. Hazelwood might’ve caught it, but she doubted Rozalin would catch it.
“Do you have the scroll?” Rozalin asked, green eyes hard.
It took a second for Trill to remember what the scroll was. Immediately, she reached into her satchel, loose threads hanging from it. She reached for empty air. Her paws opened and closed in disbelief, and she looked up at Rozalin. “Who…Who?”
Trill narrowed her eyes immediately. Nera was the only one that could’ve done it. She showed it herself that she didn’t want to do the mission. “Nera.”
Maybe she had died. If she attacked Fleck, with Wren following behind, then maybe they all died.
“She died. Didn’t she?” Roz looked down, her green eyes softening. She motioned with her paws. “Come to Serica’s old office.” It was unusual, seeing the Burrowing leader walking along with Guildless, but maybe Rozalin had already told the rest she was. A lot of things could happen in a week.
Trill nodded as soon as they were out of the common room. “Yes. Nera did die.” Another lie, but this time, her voice stuttered.
Roz nodded, turning into Serica’s office and sitting down behind the wood desk. “It’s honestly too bad.” She lowered her head, leaning into the table. “I shouldn’t have let her go. She was in my Guild and would’ve been a great Trainer for Larx…”
“You’re Guildless.” Larx was Guildless too, and all Roz wanted to do was kill Highwhisker, right? The note said so… scat.
“I lied. And if I wanted the heirs dead, you were the perfect mice to do the job. To Frozenmoon with your little band,” she grinned like she just told a joke. Anger flared in Trill’s ears, but she didn’t make any steps. It’d be useless. Rozalin had her rapier on all the time, and Trill had nothing.
“Bye, Trill.” She left the office, her tail catching dirt and pushing it to the side with every step.
Trill stopped and cried out in anger. She slammed her paw into a wall. How in the Great Hawk’s name had she been so stupid? Now, half the mice she grew up with were dead, and now there was just going to be a new ‘Whisker. “Stupid… Stupid… Stupid!” she growled.
She opened her eyes in realization.
When it came to ambition, she was no better than Rozalin.
***
“Nera. Are you okay?” Fleck breathed slowly, holding his satchel in his paws. He stumbled out of the grass and held his forelegs and satchel out to stop the fall.
“Just tired.” Nera slowed down at the clearing. In front of them was a hill that rose gradually. The gravel on it should be easy enough to climb. “Why?”
“Because…” Fleck began, raising his ears, “I thought I heard something.”
Nera stopped and raised her pink-ish ears. “I don’t hear it.” She crouched low in the grass and put a paw to the ground. Fleck raised his brows in confusion but didn’t say anything. She looked back up at him. “And I can’t feel anything, either.”
Fleck still looked around. Maybe Nera was wrong, and there really was someone. If it was Tyranos, Tulun, or maybe even Wren, he didn’t know. It could even be Tarlo.
He flicked his ears after a second and got onto all fours. “Well, we better get out of here.”
Nera yawned, shaking her head. “Don’t worry. We should at least get a bit of rest.” Nera slumped against the giant pole above them shaded by grass.
He looked down at his paws. It was definitely time for some kind of rest. “Alright. But what about Trill?” After three days, Trill could easily be back.
“If we aren’t there yet, then she isn’t.” Nera dug herself right into the dirt, like she was comfortable in it. Fleck pulled a couple stalks of tall grass and put them over him. Nera yawned and as much as Fleck tried to stop it, he found himself following suit.
Fleck closed his eyes shut tightly, though he still kept his paws on his satchel. A cold wind blew over his back, ruffling his fur. It was like the world didn’t want him to sleep.
Yet he still ignored it. Finally, his eyes got so heavy Fleck didn’t have to force them down. The grip on the glass shard in his satchel loosened. The fur on his nape lowered. Eventually, his thoughts began to blur.
Then, something snapped. Fleck raised his ears and snapped his eyes open, yet he didn’t move. Maybe it was just the wind. His thoughts told him otherwise.
He pretended to roll over in his sleep, then heard the sound of slow paw steps. He caught sight of the shadow on the giant pole. The build of the mouse was huge, and then Fleck realized it was right behind him. Somehow, it’d managed to stay hidden. Somehow. His muscles tensed, the grip on his glass shard hard and fast. The shadow took a step, the sound seeming to echo behind him.
A curved blade lifted with the shadow and just as it struck down, Fleck whirled on the ground and blocked the blow. There he was, face to face with Tyranos. The black spots beneath his eyes bristled with fury, just like his amber eyes. Fleck rolled over and pulled himself up. “Why are you here?”
Tyranos shook his thick fur and stood up taller, a building compared to Fleck. He didn’t respond. He just held his iron scimitar out, ready to fight. And what a terrifying sight he was.
***
Ketani held his spear in front of him at the court burrow. The Guildless had mainly been silent, and though that meant Ketani could stretch his legs, it didn’t mean that he was safe. He kept a steady gaze outside the court burrow, looking at tall tendrils of grass in case they might be moving. They weren’t, save the rhythmic swinging that the sunset wind gave.
Without Serica or Raven around, he had to keep his own guard. One sad fact was that he might be the only mouse in Wolf Plains loyal to a Guild, now that the two Guards had decided to hide outside the city. In hindsight, it might’ve been a better idea if he refused to stay and went with them.
The grass shuffled to the side unexpectedly, a mouse that he didn’t know. At least until it was revealed from the grass. He turned immediately, hoping he wasn’t seen if it was a Guildless mouse. He pushed the shelf to the side, wincing as he put nearly all his weight in the rushed manoeuvre with his side.
“Ketani,” someone said, her voice gruff.
Highwhisker whirled. “Yes?” His face softened at the sight of Rozalin, though she only seemed hard like iron.
“Thank the Great Hawk it’s only you, Roz.” He smiled warmly, but Roz didn’t return it. She seemed to crease into a frown, and then into an angry snarl. Highwhisker stood there silently, powerless against some feeling biting at him. He’d been betrayed, though it might not be. “Are- Are you alright?” Highwhisker was beginning to lose his naturally cool air.
Roz chuckled bitterly. “Oh, you know me, Ketani. Best friend, right to your end.” Ketani held still, realizing what she meant, but didn’t respond. “And yet I don’t even get recognized in that little note you had?”
Ketani stood up indignantly. “I recognized you…” Then he realized what he wrote about her. That’s what she meant. Highwhisker held his spear higher, icy blue eyes flashing. “I’m not afraid, Roz. If you want to challenge me, just say it.”
“Fine,” she spat. “I challenge you, Sir Ketani Highwhisker, to a duel for leadership.” She stepped forwards, reaching for her rapier in a Guild Sign-less satchel. “To the death.” She held the rapier high with one paw, pointing it to Ketani. The grass ribbons they tied together were gone. “Now, we fight.”
***
Fleck leaped out of the way as Tyranos swung his blade. He swung over to the side with every hit. He could only look at the wounds on Tyranos’ legs. Ugly gashes made by a dull blade. Tyranos lunged forwards, and Fleck couldn’t help but notice the grimace on his face. What had he done to Tyranos?
Fleck ran over to the side, taking advantage of the balance and speed advantage he had against Tyranos. He ran his blade into Tyranos’ ankles, and Fleck couldn’t help but cringe at the cry of pain Tyranos gave.
Nera woke up immediately, it seemed, but then she just stood still in shock.
Tyranos eyed her with interest, and Fleck seemed to know immediately what Tyranos was going to do. “Run, Nera!”
Yet Tyranos didn’t move. He just whirled on Fleck, staggering a bit. “So, that’s who you’re with now? First Tulun…” he swung with his blade, slashing Fleck on his chest. Fleck nearly buckled immediately at the sight of the blood leaking down his lighter chest fur. “Then her? You’d go that low?” Tyranos swung and Fleck leaped back. He tumbled a bit, then remembered the training that they gave him, only weeks before. He took his legs to the front, holding his glass shard in front of him.
Tyranos grinned, unfazed. He swung again, and Fleck’s feet leaped backwards. He caught his balance and kept the position. He never crossed a paw as he stepped nimbly through the dirt. He swung his own blade, yet Tyranos didn’t have the agility or ability to dodge. His blow only grazed Tyranos’ side, as he still managed to lean away.
Fleck looked down at his paws, now growing wet with sweat. His paws! Fleck stepped backwards, making sure his legs never crossed. He threw the sword down, and with a terrified glance at Tyranos, remembered the training about paw-to-paw combat. If you wanted to hurt a mouse, then you had to use your claws. If you needed to, use your teeth.
Tyranos swung his blade aside with an enraged glare. “Paw-to-paw? Let’s see what you remember.”
And so both continued, descending into a fight that got more savage by the second.
***
She lunged forwards, and Ketani only narrowly dodged her blow. He lifted his spear defensively. As Rozalin slashed the steel blade down and pushed it into Ketani’s spear, he leaped to the side, clenching his jaw to distract from the shock of pain. The blade slammed on the glass, and a small cracking sound hit Ketani’s ears. He looked up at Rozalin in surprise and worry, but the mouse only held a grin that managed to show no emotion. This could go very, very, wrong.
He leaped out of the way and without a thought, lunged his spear forward. He didn’t mean to hurt her if he hit, but if this was going to be to the death, Ketani would choose him over her. He jumped and pushed Rozalin away as he swung his spear around him. She swung her blade on the ground, hitting Ketani’s paws.
She got up near immediately, kicking loose dirt into Ketani’s eyes. He jumped back blindly, cold air hitting his chest. He kicked out, hitting Rozalin on the chest. The sound of her thumping into the ground hit his ears and Ketani tried as quickly as he could to blink away the dirt.
She coughed hard on the ground, so loudly that without his sight, he thought Rozalin was dead. He blinked only able to see bits and pieces. There was silence, and Ketani looked down. She was still for that split second, and Ketani looked down. What had he done? Ketani looked around the court Burrow, and the blood leaking from his feet. He’d survived. That was all. But wait. Ketani stepped back, wincing every time his paw touched the floor. He just kicked her on the chest. She couldn’t be de-
Ketani’s thoughts were interrupted as Rozalin’s sword-butt slammed into Ketani’s jaw. After, as he hit the ground, he heard his jaw shattering. He nearly dropped the spear right there on the ground. He clutched his jaw tightly, trying to numb the pain.
“I didn’t know your jaw was that fragile,” Roz said in mocking surprise. In his pain and anger, he wanted to shout at her. Scream at her. But it’d only hurt more than it needed to.
Rozalin brought her sword down on Ketani and out of painful reflex her swung his spear out defensively. The spear stopped the blow, but the glass shattered into hundreds of pieces.
Ketani widened his eyes, glassy with pain. This was it. This was truly it.
***
Tyranos’ sharp claws slammed into Fleck’s jaw and he staggered. He took one step back and mistakenly crossed his legs.
“Fatal mistake,” Tyranos mused, and swung his claws down low. This was like a training session from Frozenmoon. Fleck’s chest hit the ground, winding him. Fleck tried to move, to regain his breath, anything, but couldn’t.
Tyranos took one step from in front of him, eyes glaring down maliciously. Fleck could only inch to the side as Tyranos dragged him up, and then Tyranos staggered to the side, dropping Fleck on his paws. He tried to stand in the fighting position, but then realized it was useless. Tyranos would win however Fleck fought. He was larger and had the training advantage.
He narrowed his dark brown eyes and leaped forwards, splaying his claws out. He felt his paws scratch through Tyranos’ fur, but they weren’t nearly sharp enough to do an actual damage. But Tyranos, when unarmed, was deadly. Edvard was proof enough of that, with one eye gone and his throat ripped out.
Fleck didn’t even need to know why Tyranos was fighting. It was obvious. Fleck cut Tyranos’ legs, and he was a mouse fond of revenge.
Tyranos just seemed to grin and lift Fleck up, just like Hazelwood had done. Fleck tried to kick away, but stopped at the sight of Tyranos, brandishing the scimitar he threw away.
Fear seized his limbs, like he was already stiffening in death. Indeed, this was the vengeful face of death staring Fleck down. White like the moon, yet dark like the night. And eyes like a fire. Yet a dirty cheat!
The fear was short-lasted, as every single mouse that had died since that rebellion started seemed to phase through him, and Fleck kicked forward, springing himself off Tyranos’ chest. He rolled over and out of the shadow of the colossal mouse, and reached for the glass on the ground. Tyranos took another step with the blade. Fleck waited for that moment, which seemed like seasons. One more step, and another.
Then Fleck got up and whirled around, throwing his blade like a disk. There was the grievous sound of a bone cracking, and then a guttural cry of pain from Tyranos. Fleck picked himself up form the ground carefully and brushed his fur off. He saw Tyranos fall to the ground and roll over to the side.
There was a Goliath on the ground, and a young mouse barely able to fight had brought him down.
On Tyranos’ shoulder, digging right into the muscle right next to his neck, was Fleck’s glass blade.
Fleck knew he should feel something, but this mouse killed. Even if Edvard abused his power, he didn’t deserve to die, even with the frogscat excuse that Tyranos gave. He walked to wards Tyranos, sneaking a glance at the scimitar down on the ground next to Tyranos, yet just out of his reach.
With a grimace, Fleck ripped the glass from Tyranos’ shoulder, trying to burn out the cry of pain from his ears. He held the blood-soaked glass in his paws.
And with a chest soaked in his own blood, paws that were now getting coated in it, and a cold, unforgiving glare, Fleck realized that he too could bring death. It was just a choice.
Fleck looked down at Tyranos’ fiery gaze and stopped. It was a choice, whether or not Fleck wanted to kill. With the shard raised above him, he thought or just that moment. He lifted his hind paw off of Tyranos’ chest, and then looked at the wound. It was an unimportant muscle. He’d live, at least if Fleck didn’t bring the shard down.
He didn’t. He stepped back, glaring Tyranos in the eyes. “No. Damn you to Frozenmoon, for everything that you’ve done.” He then turned and ran.
***
Ketani looked down, avoiding the gaze that Rozalin was giving him as she held her thin needle-like blade above Ketani’s head. He blinked back tears of pain, and whirled around to look at her right in her emerald eyes. “What changed you?” he asked.
Rozalin stopped and blinked. Did she expect Ketani to die right there?
“You have,” she said. “You’ve changed, and so have I. For the better!” Roz’s voice was shrill, and the blond mouse was blinking back angry tears. “As soon as my life is without… chaos… you ruin it! You create this Guildless thing, and I don’t know what they did to you. But if anything, they’ve turned you stupid. I’ve-I’ve been with you forever, and then you send some other mice off to save your hide or theirs? Some mice that nobody even knows, let alone respects.” She stopped, her voice ragged. “I don’t know, Ketani, what’d change me? Maybe I’ve always been like this.”
“No, you haven’t.” With every movement of his jaws, it felt like they would shatter into even more glass pieces. It was like when he was a hopper that chewed before he was ready, yet now he needed to talk in order to save his life. “You were kind and fun and ready to speak for what you believed in.” He looked right into her eyes. “You’ve changed. Not me.”
“Well you’re wrong, Ketani.” She raised her blade higher, angrier. “In Eversun, say hello to your little expedition for me.” As Ketani’s eyes widened in pure terror, she stabbed straight down into his chest.
He choked, vision blurring from the amount of pain. She twisted the blade, sending even more jolts and waves through him. Then all the pain stopped. He rolled over, unable to move any further. He felt the thin blade hitting his back, touching his back-bone ever so lightly. This was truly it. No healer could help. He coughed out blood, and realized that he was making a gurgling sound, just like Hazelwood did. Blood streamed from all the wounds on Ketani, and as he looked up, he realized that he would die, without another hope.
Around him in the Court Burrow, shimmering figures began to appear. They all stood in their respective positions in the semicircle. His dimming eyes travelled the semi-circle like it was an attendance check. In the tailors’ position was Edvard. He-He had to be imagining it. An old mouse’s dying breaths.
In the Guards’ position, was Morlyle, the Guard that never fulfilled his position.
Then there were the Blacksmiths. In its spot stood Juniper. Her fur a shining black and grey, like a cloudy night. Though it had been seasons, it was a face he’d always recognize. “Juniper?” he asked, all pain missing from his jaws. Soon, the court Burrow was fading to black, and all that was there was the small council meeting.
The figure nodded, and her starlit pelt almost glowed in the blackness, yet somehow, she was just like him. Some sort of dying angel. “It’s alright, Ketani. You’re going to be fine.”
He didn’t know what fine meant, but by the pure loving look on her face, Ketani couldn’t help but smile. All his pain was gone. It was like being taken from a flame and dipped in ice-cold water.
Somehow, he felt himself rising. The Court Burrow came into view from above, and as Ketani leaned into the silver shape of Juniper, he saw himself as a bloody chestnut shape on the floor, already stiffening in death. Rozalin stood next to it, crouching down. After a second, Rozalin stood up and left the court Burrow. Then Highwhisker couldn’t help but feel shaky on his paws.
He was free, with Juniper, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that things were only going to get worse.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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I thought this was pretty good, and I'll be reading chapter 20 here soon! As I haven't read the previous chapters though, I'll have to keep my critique mostly to grammar, dialogue, and characterization. Anyways...
I really like this opening. It grabs the attention of the reader, and quickly introduces the new chapter. You also don't spend a lot of time on characterization here, which is a good thing. We don't need to know exactly what is going through Fleck's mind at the moment; we just need to know that he's in a panic and worried. You very ably demonstrate that.
But, this opening also illustrates one of the things that struck me throughout: the mice have the same characteristics as a person would. That is, a person would plod through a swamp. But to a mouse, a swamp is way too deep to plod; they'd have to either swim or row. However, if you replace swamp with field, it works.
Another example though is the fight scene between Fleck and Tyranos. It's well-written and would work for people, but for mice, you need to think of how a mouse would fight. They have claws, sharp teeth, and tails. A tail especially could come in handy, and I could see Fleck using the momentum from whipping his tail around to help him propel the disk.
On dialogue, you did really well. There's always this temptation on the part of young writers to use synonyms for said, or to go into detail about how the character said something. You avoid that, and instead just let the dialogue speak for itself. Here's a great example where you do this while still describing the scene:
Overall, very well-written. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Thank you, Archer! I'll admit, I've personified the mice to near-anthropomorphism. They walk on their hind legs more than all fours. (Think of it like Ratatouille, almost.)
It's not really a swamp, exactly, but it rained recently and Fleck is right next to a creek, so the ground's really muddy and swampy. So, yeah. Thank you for the review!
Well that was... awesomely eventful. Things always get their worst before they start getting better.
This chapter was really good and I hope you can squeeze one more out tonight. It's getting good and ready for an awesome conclusion. What exactly was highwhisker's position or rank or whatever? I wasn't quite clear on that.


Go nera go!
The last good mouse story was Stuart little. Looking forward to another one.
Highwhisker's pretty much the leader.
(Though I haven't used the two free works to post, it's still saying I can't post anymore. :/ )
YWS is being mean to me so I'm going to have to make this work chapters 18 and 19, which I meant to post today. Then the work that is Chapter 16 is going to be Chapter sixteen and 17.
Essentially, I'm saying you should look here again.
*looks at last line really closely* Holy moley! Thanks!
Will write a second review as a comment to let others find it easier. Mean to you how? You have the support of the most hardcore reviewer of the month.
Not the community. It's the website itself. I can't post 18 and 19 as their own chapters because I already posted more than two works in the past 24 hours.
What? That's a stupid rule. Ask Nate about the rule.