I wrote the first part of this a year ago, and have since written my book over. I just wanted to show people how far I have gone since then! I work on my book an hour a day and I think that, because of that, it has gotten much better since then. If not my grammar, then my writing style.
This page is an exerpt from Trako fighting a lifelong enemy of his, scrolvs. They are fickle stupid creatures possessing only one thing, strength. He seems to perfect and powerful in this page, unable to fall. The scrolvs seem like the monsters in toy story, fake and not scary like they are intended to be.
There were only two left now and they didn’t look very enthusiastic about fighting me. I flipped backward out of the bin onto the ground again. They followed slowly looking at each other nervously. I don’t think that they ever thought of the possibilities of if they just charged me, but charged me together this time and used their brains, [that is assuming they possessed one.]
But they decided to use part of it at least and started talking to each other nervously in their whistle tones. They nodded silently and after a moment of looking at all their dead and bowing to them snarled at me and sheathed their weapons. Then they nodded to each other and turned and smiled at me. They walked up to me and held out all eight hands to shake.
It seemed weird, one second they were my enemy the next my friend? But of course I did the dumb thing. I stuck my hand out to shake and was overwhelmed by them.
Each hand got a turn shaking mine, and after eight shakes by them I tell you my hand was not in very good condition. They smiled and handed my sword from the last of their dead comrades smiling at me.
I took it warily but they didn’t even pay any notice, just gurgled on and on whistling to me in their strange language assuming that I understood them. From behind me I heard a laugh and the tattooed dude stepped out of the shadows slowly, holding his head. His swords were in his hands, he wasn’t smiling.
And there is the end of that exerpt. I allow you to cringe. :)
This is a page from a different version, written a year after the first. I actually wrote this about two weeks ago. He has lost his power given to him from birth, taken by the person who gave it. The Scale Gift. He has just gotten knocked out by a "friend" that that another friend told him to go meet for answers. He threatened "Steilla". Trako tried to step in and stop "Orin" from hurting her and gets knocked out with a wine bottle in the process. Another friend of Trako's, a boy named Xuroe, does succeed in knocking out Orin. Trako has been asleep on a couch in Orin's living room all night due to being knocked out.
Trako was starting to feel like Captain Useless. After playing with a parrot and talking with a drunkard who only cared about liquor, he was tempted to have a drink himself.
Then, when he tried to keep Orin from hurting Steilla, something that he thought Orin would have never done, he had been knocked out immediately.
What a show.
Of course Xuroe, with his scale gift intact, had no problems dealing with Orin. One punch knocked him out cold.
But Trako never got to see that. He was unconscious the whole time. In fact, when he finally did wake, Orin was already up and about, drinking again.
Trako pushed himself up from the couch slowly, his head spinning. He felt as though he hadn’t eaten in days. The transfer of the scale-gifts had taken a lot out of him. More than he realized, in fact. He was weak and it would be a long while before he regained his full physical strength.
His scale-gifts? Now that was a different matter entirely.
They were confiscated and he was in detention. He had the dunce cap on, sitting on the bench for the world to see. He was a half-breed, but he had no way to show it. When a scrolv attacked, he was defenseless against the brutal onslaught that always followed. He couldn’t even fight an old man without getting beat up!