AquaMarine

Hey! As Kat said, if these are lyrics then you'll want to move them to the actual Lyric forum. But, I'll review them anyway, for now. It's kind of sweet, ...

Hey Jay! This is a hard subject to write about, I guess. It's controversial, but you've captured the emotions that I'm sure a lot of children would feel in the ...

Hey there! One thing that immediately stood out to me was that every single word is practically capitalised. It's distracting, not needed, and technically grammatically incorrect. ;) It's a nice ...

Hey there! I'm just going to reiterate what everyone's said, really, and just point out the lack of emotion you have going through this poem. You have the idea, and ...

Hey Alpha! This does seem like actual lyrics rather than lyric poetry, but I'll move on. To me, the poem overall felt a little generic, like it could have been ...

Hey there! I really liked this. It's an interesting subject choice, and you've made it all the more interesting with your poem. It's kind of quirky and cute, which I ...

Hey there! Ok, I'm really sorry but the spelling and grammar was horrible. First thing, you really want to write 'and' instead of '&'. But, I think people have mentioned ...

Hey there! I enjoyed the language you used. I find the language of that era really cool, so well done for that! One thing is that sometimes the language feels ...

Oh, Hawkie, this is wonderful! You've used rhyme in this great way, it doesn't feel forced a t all so I really commend you for that. You've kept the emotion ...

Hey there! I like this. I'm just going to make some suggestions for how it could be improved. I'll take it line by line. What I'll mainly be looking at ...

Hey there! This was a nice poem. My favourite part, like Hope, is the first few lines. I think that after this the flow went kind of iffy. Your stanzas ...

Hey Dems! Wow, this is a really lovely poem. I'm a fan of the run-on sentence style (although I can by no means achieve it myself) and you have a ...

Hey Howler! This is nice! It's about luck and chance, right? You've picked a nice subject here, it's cool. One thing I would recommend is that maybe you could focus ...

Hey Flit! This is sort of a beautiful poem! It flowed seamlessly, which was a lovely thing to read. You have a great writing style, and it shows here. I ...

Hey there! I actually really liked this. Yes, it did seem like lyrics to me, but that's just me. I could really imagine someone singing that. It flows throughout really ...