Angel17

I actually thought the repition of 'Allah' was a really good idea especially this poem being a prayer. This was beautifully written, and raised awareness of current situations. This also ...

I don't want it to have imagery..just short, simple, and quickly romantic. Thank you for all of your comments, and for your suggestions everyone. It's your poem and so only ...

Firstly. the rhythm of the poem didn't work for me. There was no easy flow to this poem. if only it would rain and wash my tears away.. if only ...

I liked this a lot. As i got into the poem, i could work out the girl and gut parts and didn't have to read it which part were the ...

as pyres burn ahead of us should it be tyres? Nice imagery,the first line really gripped me, it was a beautiful line. As for the flow, it wasn't quite right ...

These track that we had run This doers not make sense. Could it be 'These tracks that we have run' perhaps? Also, i also agree the last stanza cuts the ...

As many have already said, there were tons of grammatical errors, if you proof read your work it will be more easy for the reader to grasp and understand whats ...

You were able to portray your feelings extremely well. You kept the reader interested and showed real belief and passion in what you were talking about. Very good poem :D

Well everything is covered by the others. I liked the poem it was quite simple and easy to read (flowed well). The repetition of the style of the poem e.g. ...

This poem's rhythm flowed perfectly. And the rhyme scheme was not at all forced. You sent the message of HIV very well, and the end was very dramatic and a ...

The rhythm varied because some lines would be left non-rhyming, and then suddenly 3 lines will rhyme at once. Make people doubt that you are sane This line made the ...

This poem repeats 'I' so frequently that it would be difficult for any readers to try and relate. your rhythm isn't really there at all - your lines are random ...

Wonderful imagery and some of the words and phrases were so powerful and really stood out of this poem. It floats from the heavens, it's landing unknown, This is my ...

Maboline babies scream while mommy sings don't you wanna be pretty? Hold your nose too high, they can't see you cry and act saditty Pretend you're better in a Prada ...

Wonderful imagery. I loved all the metaphors and similies used. A very nice poem. I thought the last lines changed the pace too much which caused the flow of the ...