Aley

So the title is Mermaid for two reasons. First, I wanted to gender the speaker. In the actual poem I don't have a chance to give gender because I wanted ...

Thank you FairyLight! You're totally right I shouldn't use "thing" in this poem. I completely missed it! I actually kept it left-centric because I wanted it to appear more like ...

Thank you for the compliments! I'm trying to get away from cliches, can you tell me/show me where you think it feels a little cliche?

XD No, it's not a reference to that. Never heard of that before, but it is the same metaphor really... he's serving monsters the mashed people of the country but ...

That makes so much more sense now XDDD wow, okay. Here's what I'm still going to stick by: With the first stanza, you have a positive and negative whereas Dickenson ...

It's one of my problems too, I'm glad I can help you fix it.

I'm glad I got something right! Yeah, you need to bridge that gap a little better. Earlier today, the same chord filled the string orchestra rehearsal room, each section taking ...

You too! Glad to help

@Audy

The poem has nothing to do with the title, or at least, I don't feel like it does. You need to rewrite this from the perspective of an individual instead ...

Thank you Zee, I really appreciate your thoughtful comments. It's from Yu Yu Hakusho talking about Yukina and Hiei's relationship. Well, Hiei's relationship to his sister

This is lovely

I think it's clear enough because you hit the nail on the head with your guess. That's all I could ask for. It is both their thoughts and their real ...

Oh if that's what you're worried about with your line capitals, the standard is actually to indent a continuous line as it proceeds onto the next line. On YWS, we ...