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Re: The Worm's Past Lover
Well that's dramatic. So main thing, don't reuse too many words. Your first two lines both use through, so erase one of them. Overall, good job. I think you have ...
Feb 25, 2016 -
Re: I walked alone...
Hello TahaT11n, I'm here to review your lyrics. First off, I'd like to say that I'm a huge fan of unconventional lyrics, or rather, lyrics that aren't super repetitive and ...
Feb 24, 2016 -
Re: Tryal's Curse 9.0
Hey PomPom, Just a few quick notes because I only really skimmed most of this after the first several paragraphs, which is what I want to talk about. You're at ...
Feb 9, 2016 -
Re: Blood Haven: Chapter 9
Hello! I'm going to start this by saying that I don't see any horrible spelling or grammar errors right off. I didn't really do a close read for that though, ...
Feb 1, 2016 -
Re: "I Would Kill Myself"
Hey MadWriter7, I'm here to give you a review, clearly, so I'm hoping I can help give you areas to improve. First off, I'd like to say that you did ...
Jan 27, 2016 -
Re: Not enough room for three
Hello! So this is my first review of one of your poems. I'd like to start with saying that I really think you've got good content here. You're working towards ...
Jan 22, 2016 -
Re: Too Blind Too See
Hey MatthewAaron So I decided to come back for another swing at it because you suggested I do at the end of your comments about my review last time. I ...
Jan 20, 2016 -
Re: Loss
Hello! So as this is a critique, I will point out the good and the bad, and how to improve that which I think may need improvement. To start, I ...
Jan 18, 2016 -
Re: The Things That Made Me
Nice. I think you have a lot good going on with this poem. You've got a good subject, and a good way of writing it. You don't focus on the ...
Jan 7, 2016 -
Re: Potato
Hello! My name is Aley and I'm here to give you a review. Happy Winter
Dec 21, 2015 -
Re: Kite Runner Book review
Hey, so you asked me to review and that's what I'm here to do! I'd like to say that your review actually had a well rounded development to it. You ...
Dec 10, 2015 -
Re: A Chance to Fly, A Chance to Fall - Prologue
Hello! You actually have really good rhymes picked for this poem. I'm really impressed with that. So I can see why you'd want to use this as an open to ...
Nov 26, 2015 -
Re: Exports to America
Hey Audy! So I really like most of this. I think you only have a few places that I can see which could use some improvement. I like how you ...
Nov 20, 2015 -
Re: Not enough
Hey ThinksTooMuch! I'm here to review your poem. Per standard YWS Sandwich, I'll start out with what I liked, move on to what I didn't like, what could use improvement, ...
Nov 20, 2015 -
Re: What I Learned in High School
Hello! So I'm actually reviewing this because I saw it was an article and thought sweet, YWS is branching out. That being said, I didn't come into it expecting a ...
Nov 15, 2015