Acid_Fairy

it's supposed to be her dad- i tried to make that seem obviouse without sayin that it was her dad....needless to say i did a very bad job of it!

ok i already wrote all of the rest- but i thought that people wouldn't beable to be bothered readin like the whole thing in one go so split it... ne ...

i really thought it was fantastic!!! i agree with black daisy that part is amazing!i wish i could write stuff like that! the images you came up with were really ...

wow! just wow! lol i really really loved it! i agree with jennafina! that stanza really is brilliant! i also loved 'she looks at the sky and puts it back ...

yeah, the only thing i didn't like was the fact that it rymed in some places and not in others! but i liked some of the images! good job!

im not sure how to get upsidedown exclamation marks an question marks so i just did a normal one at the the bigining- i suppose i could try and do ...

i was writing it really quickly on microsoft word, and it had lots of 'u's in it cos i didnt want to forget what i wanted to write an then ...

ok sorry it's supposed to be 'Dad walks out of the kitchen. I turn and say 'hi', trying to force a rare smile. '

i really liked it! it was confusing but i guess thats part of what made it so good! i really like the end bit about slipping through her grip because ...

ok i havent beenon here in ages cos our computer broke. yeah i get the point of the porch on fire thong- i need to do something with that. the ...

thanks guys! your points really helped!

i dunno if it was just me but i think maybe you overdid the swearing. it helps to bring out the character and all that but if it was me ...

this might be just me but i didn't think that 'i feel as if someone is pouring anti-freeze into my veins' didn't really seem to fit-but apart from that there ...

i thought it was great! it's like the kind of thing i write so i could really connect to what you wrote! i really enjoyed it! please write more!

ok-im confused- i didn't know i posted this-um i think something moght have gone wrong-and what references to movies?