Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Well this was short and not sweet. Its a really sad story and it actually does a pretty good of showing that emotion through the protagonist so the reader also definitely feels a little sad when reading it and that means you have done your job correctly so great job there.
Anyway let's get right to it,
I'm standing here looking at you. I should know you so well. I should be able to glance at you and know everything about you. But I don't. I'm standing here looking at you, and all i see is a complete stranger. You don't look much different. The same sparkling green eyes as mine. The same dimple on the right side of your mouth. All the little things that we still have in common. The little things that don't matter at all. There was so much you needed to know. So much i never quite had the strength to say. The inevitable conversation hidden in the darkest corner of not just my mind, but yours too. I remember being told that loving some-one is giving them the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to. And i realize that i never did quite trust you to keep my heart safe.
Well that's a very interesting start. Feels just a bit too monology but then I don't really mind that. I would suggest that you condense that just a little bit because it is kinda long. And other than that, that description of love is a very interesting take on it that I personally have never thought of before. *steals definition to use in his own stories*
Everything we could have had was always just around the next bend.Just over the next rainbow. Just one more step away. Just far enough for us to never reach, because neither of us had the courage to push that little bit harder. Reach that little bit further and grab it, before it out-ran us both.
I'm seeing some symbols here. Maybe.
I remember all that time ago when you walked out of my life. When my first tear fell, you wiped it away and made me promise that you would never see me cry. Yet here I am. Tears streaming down my face. But this time, you don't wipe them away. You just watch the trail they leave on my cheek, with the strangest look on your face. As if those tears explain everything that you've never understood. Maybe they do.
I turn and walk away. I don't have to look back to know that you're doing the same. I'm letting you walk out of my life for the second time.
I got it all so wrong. We got it all so wrong. Because in the end...it was never worth the wait...
Okay well that took a sad turn quite fast. I suppose it was always destined to be sad but then whatever I guess. I will always hope for a happy ending no matter what.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: So this flowed pretty smoothly, the language was great, almost bordering on being somewhat poetic here and there. The emotions are captured and brought out really well too so overall its just really well done.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 258129
Reviews: 4120
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