Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Mummy and Daddy have gone to war. Things will never bo the same again. Pushing and pulling. Is it his? or is it hers? They'll get round to me in the end.
Daddy went away. I'm left with mummy. the crying the shouting has stopped. everything seems silent. silence is precious. silence is golden. don't break it. It shatters easily. Handle with care.
Well this is quite the start here. The very first line almost made me think this was talking about some sort of actual war and this person's parents both went to fight in one, but then when you read on a bit, you can see its a different sort of war, although this one now portrayed through the lens of what's quite clearly a pretty young child makes it almost more powerful here. It certainly gets your attention quite quickly.
I stopped counting the coulours of the rainbow. to me there were but two. Balck and white. White and Black. For good, for Bad. who was to decide? Not me.
Custody? i don't undertsand? I want to live with Daddy. It's simple to me. but to them it isn't. Mummy wants me too. they baoth have a firm grasp. pulling me left, pulling me right. they hurt. the pain doesn't just go skin deep.
This part certainly highlights the previous one quite powerfully. If there was any sort of doubt in the earlier part about exactly what's going on, this one smashes that out of the park and makes it quite clear that this whole situation revolves around just this one issue and to see it so powerfully reflected in the emotions of this child is quite the moment here. I think you've done a really great job in terms of highlighting that.
The voice in my head tells me to be brave. the voice my head says 'stick it out'. the voice in my head says 'suck up the pain'. is it really that easy? not for me.
I have to stay with mummy. i want to be with daddy. i cry. mummy shouts. i walk away i slam the door. this is the ruin left of our family.
i'll stick it out-I'll suck up the pain. but deep inside i'll always be
Daddyy's girl.
The spelling errors there reached and all time peak and while I don't normally point that out I feel like I must mention that here because its numerous enough to affect the meaning, but otherwise we've got ourselves a pretty solid ending there. It works well with that title and really nails home the point I think so on the whole you've done a really solid job here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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Reviews: 4145
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