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4revgreen

4 / rev / green <3

  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Narrative Re: Chapter 3 of: The people we become

    Hi PageDreamer! i'm back again for the next chapter. I see Tikaya already mentioned this again, but you really need to stick to new speech on a new line. It's ...

    Aug 21
  • Novel / Chapter » Horror, Science Fiction Re: TEETH / 2018: chapter 1

    I have been intrigued by this project since I saw you log it with the writer's log because 'Digestive System' just made me think this was some sort of biology ...

    Aug 21
  • Short Story » Supernatural, Other Re: Monika’s origin-Siren’s Desire

    Hi Creeper! Hope you are doing good today! In the small beachside town called “Moon’s Beach”, named for the rather mesmerizing way the moon glittered on the ocean, there was ...

    Aug 20
  • Script » Fantasy, Mystery / Suspense Re: visual novel draft

    oo I love this so far. I know you said it's for a visual novel, does that mean like a game? Since the character is 'player'? That's how I was ...

    Aug 19
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Realistic Re: Sour Date

    Hi Roro! Welcome to YWS and thank you for posting this charming piece. Firstly, it seems that you used AI to make the cover. It would be preferred if you ...

    Aug 18
  • Short Story » Realistic, General Re: The Yellow Sweatshirt

    Hi Cora, welcome to YWS! Thank you for sharing your work today. This is a very short yet effective piece. Each sentence is given its own line for dramatic effect, ...

    Aug 18
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Gates

    I have always wanted to review a very old work! For context I was two years old when this was posted. The lines are so short and compressed; you're really ...

    Aug 17
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Supernatural Re: Adelaide’s abnormalities

    It was her being a vampire that should have terrified them. I love how you had this as the end line of the introduction. You really sucked me in and ...

    Aug 17
  • Short Story » Fantasy, Mystery / Suspense Re: Thoughts of Something Bad

    Hi! This is a great little excerpt. Do you plan to turn this into something longer, or keep it as is? It could definitely become a short story or even ...

    Aug 17
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Literature Re: Death and Destruction [Ch. V, Nine]

    Hello! Apologies, it has been a few days since I promised to do my next review. I read this late at night on my phone, and I was so captivated ...

    Aug 16
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: in sorrow

    This is a very short poem, and it still makes a huge impact. I think the last line, 'like a greedy witch,' is what makes this work. It's such a ...

    Aug 16
  • Poetry » Realistic, Health Re: numb

    This is a really heavy poem, and I can really feel the emotion shining through your words. I hope you are feeling okay now, and if not, hopefully you have ...

    Aug 16
  • Poetry » Narrative, Realistic Re: PUPPETEER

    I have had my fair share of toxic friendships/relationships, and I know how awful they can be. I am so glad you made it out and chose to share this ...

    Aug 16
  • Poetry » Fantasy, Lyrical Re: Underwater

    Hi! I love that you wrote this in Japanese! I haven't seen that before on YWS. It looks awesome, and although I don't know Japanese so I can't review that ...

    Aug 15
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Narrative Re: Chapter 2 of: The People We Become

    Hi again! This is a massive improvement from the last chapter, and I'm excited to read more! The overall story is moving on nicely. Noah is moving to Colorado and ...

    Aug 15


You are in the wrong land even if the roosters recognize you.
— Nathalie Handal, "Noir, une lumière"