0xJazzy

I really liked it! It flowed and the feelings came across well. That burning that dooms me. This line didn't sound quite right to me, I think you need to ...

You opened up the poem really well :) I really liked these lines I know it'll overtake me, your pain, your crazy grin. My poor heart can't take this, It's ...

I loved this :) The language you used was nice, as you varied your vocabulary. I loved the first verse, it introduced the poem very well and told us what ...

Ahaa this did make me chuckle. It had a certain bounce to it, a fast paced rhythm which made it enjoyable to read. One night, I know, you'll come right ...

Haha this was a sort of a reality check for me. I found myself whispering yes in agreement to pretty much all of what you said in your poem! So ...

Hey :) I agree with Nixie really, you just need to separate it into stanzas. Just because the different aspects of the poem will come across better if it's broken ...

I like the theme "...Thou canst not see my face:for there shall no man see me, and live." and the concept of how you can't get rid of religion and ...

I'm not sure what you mean by "Grammar and Punctuation rules" but 'Cos and runnin' for example are slang terms used in rap and if they're punctuated properly as they ...

Hiya :) the story is pretty, it just lacks a certain rhythm to it. I think perhaps the syllable count doesn't quite slot in to together so maybe sing/say the ...

Heey :) I think the idea is great but you could develop it more and maybe use some more imagery to make it sound a little more interesting. Also, maybe ...

I like this poem a lot, especially the ending. The way the lines gradually get shorter and the last line, being the shortest, has a great punch to it. All ...

I like the imagery used and I thought it was pretty darn good :) it was interesting to read and created a mood and alerted the senses. It was just ...

I love the feel of this poem. Lovely imagery and you haven't overcomplicated the language. Some of the grammar is questionable. "All they have been looking for a safe hide" ...

I thought this was great. The idea was good and the imagery used was great. The repeated use of words beginning with "S" on the second stanza was really nice ...

I love it! The idea is really good and well developed and the imagery really draws the reader in. The way you varied your sentences created a sense of flow. ...