Anyone want to be reviewed by a Banana?

I’m new to the site, but an old reviewer. if you've used another writing site before, maybe you know me? Well, it’s hard to know from all the stories out there who wants an in-depth review so I through I’d throw myself right onto the board. Please help start me off.

I’ll review any fiction except fanfic. Romance, fantasy, period, chic lit, sci-fi – whatever.

I’m particularly harsh on poetry – it’s easy to sounds impressive but hard to be meaningful. Only ask for a review if you can take a beating.

Lyrics – sorry, I can’t write them so I can’t help.

My strongest points are literary techniques, use of language, grammar, plot flaws, how realistic (as in how speech sounds and flow of the plot - include as many unicorns as you like).

Post a link please. I’m still getting used to this place.
Let me know if you want me to check back after a rewrite and I’ll try my best.

I may be asking a bit much, but can you review these please:

Third Avenue: post772615.html#p772615

and if you have the time

The Wisdom of Mr Fox: viewtopic.php?t=69776

Thanks in advance. And I've seen you on Wattpad, this site is a lot better, isn't it?

TIGERSPRITE

I haven't even been on it long and yep, it's a lot better. But then so is Storywrite and authonomy, and they're not without their flaws. This one looks like the best so far.
I'll take a look now but I'll probably start reviewing tomorrow.

Edit: I've given you a sample review of the first few paragraphs. =]

Hey there! Would you mind reviewing this poem for me? I can handle the harshest criticism--anything to help me improve. Thanks!

topic70757.html

Hello. this is a poem, topic70902.html

Thanks,

~Rain~

Oh Em Gee! I want to be review by a banana! 8D

Here is my first chapter of The Bourreau and the Waltz Dancer:
topic70833.html

BTW: I totally fail at grammar lol

Hi there. I would absolutely love it if you could review this poem for me --> post775969.html#p775969

I can take a beating, and trust me, this poem needs one.

Thanks!

Ah, I lost the internet for a few days, but now it's found.
I'll see if I can help.

If you're interested, can you please review the first chapter of Kiss of Death (the first thing you reviewed was the prologue) at: topic71000.html

Thanks in advance,

TIGERSPRITE

Hello, I am one of the res crew mods here on YWS. This is a message just to inform you that I will lock and archive this thread as it is not active anymore. We have to archive and lock the inactive threads to keep the forum organized so no worries if you'd like to reopen it at any point in the future please contact a current resources moderator, we would be happy to reopen it for you ^-^

-ALICE