Hi there DemonGoddess. I see that despite New Year's Eve come and gone, this happens to be sitting in the Green Room! There'll be a nice reflection now that a week and a couple days have passed, yes? Let's begin.
once upon a time, there were five ywsers -- pizzaroll, demongoddess, snazzy, love, and darkpandemonium. these five joined in different times, in different years, even. they looked different, thought different, and wrote different. however, these five people had one thing in common:
they are all in... "the squad."
I wanted to start out by saying that while I suppose I understand there being a lack of capitals and formal writing used as this is more on the lax side but on the other hand, I absolutely don't? The disregard for grammar rules makes the whole literary work have a careless tone and paints the picture to the reader that there's no real effort put into the writing of this. I understand that this is for fun and I'd even compare this to a Tagbook in a way--very light and not written for heavy plot. I'm going to suggest going in and making a quick edit with correct grammar rules because there's little reason not to and the time said objective consumes is less than five minutes.
This brings us to my next main stop on our metaphorical train station--as of now, I see this working better as a wall post for two reasons. The first? The length. There's only a couple paragraphs and there's not a whole lot of substance here--there's an alright concept here but I can see said-concept working better if this were in more formatted or written as a story. If you're going to write a...YWS fanfic (never thought I'd say that in my life) with yourself and a couple of friends as self-insert characters, add more in! Add a story if you want to go that route with the forming of The Reapers and their adventures.
All in all, I know this is more of a joke post and probably only written for the purpose of making a joke, though I can see this being more if you wanted to do that. As a short piece there's not a whole lot here for outsiders though I can see the appeal for you and the rest of this group. Is this kinda campy and easily dated? Sure, but I'm pretty sure you knew that going in. Finally, I also agree with @Evander and what he says in his own review because his points are sweet.
That's all I have to say about this, Demon! If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask. I hope I helped and have a nice day!
Points: 220
Reviews: 1081
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