Thorns & Ivy

Am I who I say I am?
I'm just lonely, looking for some friends
Do you know who I am?
Do I have to say or can you just stay instead?

It goes like this, 3, 4, 5
Counting down how long I have to stay alive
1 hour, then 2, then it's 5
Can I afford to waste one more night?

My face is a canvas, my tears, the paint
All my feelings sliding down the drain
I can't blame them, I deserve such pain
But do you even feel an ounce of shame?

Wet-streaked face and wretched body
Heart twisted in thorns and ivy
Why didn't you ever love me loudly?
My hands are shaking, vision cloudy

No man can do better than a bear
You can find me collapsed on the stairs
Ink-stained roses, truth or dare?
Bound by an oath, said you'd always be there

My face is a canvas, tears watercolor
Are all my feelings worth less than a dollar?
Why did you leave, can you stay a little longer?
Stupid girl, why can't you be stronger?

Run little deer, run to stay alive
Do whatever you need in order to survive
Run from the bear, run from the men
You made broken promises that'll never mend

It's dripping down my arms, dripping down my thighs
It never worked out, and all I do is stay high
I barely even got a chance to say a goodbye

Singing 'till my voice is strained
Staying for the aching pain
Soaking up my tears in rain
The words you speak bleed to the page

I'll write about you until the ink runs out
Until we meet again, with grief, or without
We're strangers, but with memories too loud
Hearts were tied, but we were never soul-bound

I'll mourn for you like a weeping angel
Like the stars are sorrowful for those lost souls
Like the moon drops low to let us know
That words mean nothing if actions don't show

Like God leads us through wind and snow
And I hope someday...
I can let you go.

BACKSTORY: My hands are still shaking. Love is such a hard thing to capture, and I swear I entered flow state, and something possessed me and left after I finished. He cheated on me, yet I have no clue if he's doing okay. It's something to think over. Yet something in me makes me feel at fault. Maybe someday I'll find a way to get over him. But for now, I'll write poetry, because the best poems come from souls who feel