Young Writers Society

Hello! Ley here to review this delightful work for you. Today, I’ll be using my 'Autumn-Themed Review Template'! We’ll begin with my initial impressions, then delve into the aspects that stood out like the vibrant hues of fall, and then get into the critiques. I hope you find this review insightful, and that you're enjoying the cozy charm of autumn, wherever you are in the world! Let’s dive in!

The First Signs of Autumn
I'm back! Again XD This time we're diving into Delores and Theodore's story, which I'm excited for! This is a super short excerpt, so this review might be a bit short. Anyways, let's get started!

A Golden Harvest
Firstly, I just wanted to point out the title. For some reason I absolutely love the title 'bone boy' and I feel like that could be some foreshadowing on what happened to Theodore. Just a thought that I'm gonna throw out there for when I read the next part XD

When he didn’t come back down after a while, Dolores and the others began to wonder what was taking so long, so they went into his room and found…nothing. Nothing at all. Just an empty room with many toys, for even at his age, he liked to collect toys of all sorts.

I wonder why he liked to collect so many toys? I wonder if there's some character development there, like that contributes to his personality at all. I'll have to go back to the previous parts and see what's up with that XD Which I will do after this review.

Aaaand the ending:

Dolores herself was not one to believe in magic, but still…

What if his disappearance was something nobody would understand? Ever? What if it was something…more?

This left me wanting more which is why I'll go back and read the previous parts XD. That's the sign of a great story! You captured my attention, and now I'm curious to know what happened. Is he trapped in that garden? I don't know if he just told Delores that, or if he's actually somewhere else. I guess I'll have to find out!

Wilted Leaves and Crisp Critiques
I have no suggestions because this is such a short piece. <3


Cozy Conclusion
Thanks for sharing! I shall see you in the next part!

Hello Hello, I hope you dont mind popping in with a quick review. I will once again apologize as I have not read the others. However, I am always more than happy to help you out when it comes to your writing. Let's get into it, shall we?

Overall this is a very interesting read. I enjoy seeing little glimpses of your world through the years it adds a realistic touch to this otherwise fantastical plot. This is a promising setup for a plot and I wonder if we are going to see the two traversing marriage as well as the supernatural.

I am getting some huge laughing jack mixed with the Secret Garden. I am waiting for the dark tragic twist to happen but I hope they find each other. I am also very curious about what sights we might see while the plot unfolds.

However I think it's time we move on to feedback. I promise this going to be very short as I could only find one thing to point out. As always I am not a professional nor do you have use anything I say. You are the author after all!

I want to put aside my usual feedback today as it feels unfair to bring up a lot. There was only one line that caught my eye as a bit off however it is an easy fix so worry not.

for even at his age, he likes to collect toys of all sorts.

I think there's a small tense issue with this line since a lot of it uses the past tense. I would rephrase it like this.

for even at his age, he liked to collect toys of all sorts.

Regardless This is an interesting setup with lots of places to go. I hope you're doing well today. As always stay creative and remember to drink water!