Something sweet, Something small, Something carefree, Something not so far gone.
It floats around, Searching to land, But instead of the grass, It landed in my hand,
I was surprised, Shocked at first, It's beauty so grand, delicate and dispersed,
Each petal had a similar design, But each of them would change with time.
Like us, A love so lost,
And like the flower petals, we glisten in the sun. Sparkling like stars, Dancing in ink,
We are the same, yet different for the eyes to see.
The scent, the look, the colors, the hook,
We seek peace but fight anyway. For we refuse to end the war and lead.
But I know, with time to come, We'll find someone who understands us.
Someone with patience, Someone who cares, Someone who can wait and withstand all the traumatic affairs.
Everything will be fine, it all changes with time. Like Fall and Spring and Winter and Summer,
We all belong with someone who knows, Someone who feels, someone who grows,
We are all human, some better than most, But we are simple, featured, not cloned.
And eventually, I'll find those who can lead me far along. But as of right now, I only have one.
My mother, simple and serene.
She's sweet. Like the cherry blossoms on the tree.
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broo this is good fr
the way you've carried this poem w the cherry blossoms and explained
"And like the flower petals, we glisten in the sun. Sparkling like stars, Dancing in ink,
We are the same, yet different for the eyes to see"
well absolutely beautiful it is. and the thing that we are same, yet diff for the eyes to see, it explains how we have diff versions of us in ppls mind some see us as kind and some as rude but after all we are same
and absolutely right with how we'll find the one who love us who will see the sweetness in us and love us for who we are someone to grow and learn with someone who'll care for us. we'll find that someone as everything changes, and you told that ethically with the metaphor oh seasons.
and cute that you have someone your mother there for you.
well, it was a nice poem, keep writing
-arohi
Thank you for reading it! I'm glad you enjoyed it! <3
~Taost
Hai :3
Aaa!! What a sweet poem for your mother!! This is so lovely and tender, and I'm sure it would be met well. I'm usually not a fan of rhythm, but it works so well here!! It feels like a gentle breeze, carrying me along, and that’s so perfect for the theme of something sweet and delicate like a flower ~~ Like, the way you start small feels like you’re plucking a thought out of the air, and it instantly pulls me in. It’s whimsical and almost nostalgic, like watching petals fall from a tree!!
I adore the imagery of the flower landing in your hand instead of the grass—there’s something so serendipitous about it, like fate reaching out in a quiet, understated way. And the comparison of love to flower petals? That's so good!!! It’s both fleeting and eternal, glistening in the sun, yet fragile enough to disperse. That’s such a powerful metaphor for love and connection.
LOVE !!!
This really resonated with me. It’s like you’re speaking about individuality within unity ~~ Like, how we’re all human, but we’re all unique. That’s such a poignant observation. It feels comforting, like a reminder that being different is a strength!! I don't think people take on that stance well anymore, and it's something that society has almost shifted out of. How unfortunate!!
However, you move around a lot!! The shift from flowers to love, then to seasons, and then to your mother, doesn't feel very concrete. Right now, it feels like several ideas strung together rather than one cohesive journey!! Maybe you could introduce your mother earlier, so her presence feels woven through the poem rather than a late addition. Like, could you compare her to a flower? How does her role as your mother shape your life on a deeper level. Those are some ideas!!
!!! So pretty, I love this ending!!
The way you anchor it back to your mother is such a tender and heartfelt twist!! It feels like coming full circle in the best way. It's reflective, hopeful, and sososo soft, even when it brings in heavier themes. It’s like a little light shining through the cracks. I wasn't expecting to read such a compelling poem tonight, if I'm honest, but this is absolutely darling anyway!! Amazing work with this!! ^_^
- Payton
Thank you so much for this! I admit, yes, it is a little spiral, and it does loop. It was originally written for a class where the teacher told me "it's not specific enough." So I added my mother, which gave me an A .
The main gist of my poetry is to organize my thoughts, and as an individual, my thoughts can be hectic and wild. The main idea of this poem was to organize my thoughts on humanity. So, the poem guides us through these comparisons of humans and plants, and yes, the thought is overdone and messy, so the poem ends with the summarization that a mother is all the narrator needs.
This was an end to the overthinking, a quick summary to silence the thoughts, as if saying "Why bother with the headache? You just need your mum." I know it's confusing and it travels A LOT! I hope to get more of my poetry out to introduce my writing style, though I will try to make the gist more clear. I loved your idea of introducing the maternal figure sooner, and I plan to use that to my advantage! <3 Though I most likely won't try and edit this poem, as I am fond with how it turned out, and I have a little special short story I need to finish writing! New characters need designsss!
Anyways,
Thank you for reading this and typing this out! It's highly appreciated!
~Taost
This beautiful!!
Thank youuu!
It was so good.I liked it really really much and the fact that you wrote it for your mother made if even more special. Our mothers are like blessings that truly landed right in our hands so that we can be carefree because we would have someone to care for us. Especially I like the line where you said, We seek peace but fight anyway. For we refuse to end the war and lead. That was the true reality and it just really hit me. It doesn't need any rearranging or any changing because it's special. Keep writing cause for some of us it's the only way we speak.
Always and forever. We need little crumbs sprinkled into our lives.