The flowers in Spring, The Sun in the Summer, The leaves in the Fall, And the snow of the Winter,
Everything around seems to stand still. Nothing is with me except for this unmistakable chill.
It runs down my spine every time I look in your eyes. They remind of the seasons, each of them combined.
Your hair, Your skin, Your touch, Your lips, All of it has me stuck in a trance.
I'm so in love, I don't understand why. You're no different than the others,
but I hate to see you cry.
Your voice is like a pool, except, there is no surface. You drown me. Hold me hostage under your spell.
I can't leave, I won't, but a part of me will.
Yet, for you and your seasons, The sacrifice I can make,
It won't hurt if in return, your love I can take.
So like Fall and Spring, Like Summer and Winter, Like everything else.
The love we share is undisguisable. And as I open my eyes
I can't help but smile, No, I can't hide. I'm still dreaming, yes, I'm sure of it.
You can't exist, but, for love, I'll withstand it.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,273 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Hello, My Friend!
Happy Review Day! It’s me, Raven, and I’m here to review this poem! Technically this is not the real Familiar method, but Imma call it that anyway XD Let's dive in, shall we?
What an awesome poem! The way it discusses the topic of being in love through the lens of the seasons, passing time, and this very dreamcore-esque tone is not only beautiful, but fascinating to think about. It's always nice to read how artists--and poets especially--describe this cryptic and multi-faceted emotion, and this certainly doesn't disappoint!
From a technical lens, there's not really anything I can recommend for improvement; I think the poem flows very nicely, I like the structure and wording, and the theme is very nice!
I particularly enjoyed how you bold-typed certain phrases, just to really emphasize those strong feelings and that sense of commitment. I also love this line:
It's an incredible analogy and provides a beautiful visual.
Overall, great work here!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Thank you for reviewing my work! I glad you liked this poem!
There are a few punctuation things i need to fix, now that I went back and read the poem again. It's been so long since I dove into my poetic side. Thank you for taking me back <3
~Taost
No problem!
hey man! this poem is really neat!
it captures the feeling of being in love really well. the feeling that it doesn't make sense but makes sense at the same time. i like your use of the seasons to show how unmistakable your love is. the bolded parts are neat too, showing that the writer will cry for his love, but he'll do it gladly.
i love this poem, and how it talks about the feeling of love. really nice job. keep it up man!!
love, ash
I like how you start with all the seasons and give the reader a sort of full circle view of the love that you have. This is a very descriptive poem, I like how it does not rhyme but still flows smoothly. The poem seems very Shakespearean, like something out of a mid summers nights dream. I really liked it.
Thank you, thank you!
I'm glad you like my poetry! <3
~Taost
Please write more.
As you wish, dear reader <3