Chapter 5
“I swear, she’s my best friend, I’ve known her all my life… she’s no harm to us.”
“Why should we believe you, you moro-”
“Let Skylar speak.”
When I first open my eyes I immediately shut them close again, the light blinding me and sending a stinging pain to my temples.
My head feels fuzzy, and now I’m pretty sure it’s not because of the light, and I can’t feel my lips. I put my fingers over them to touch them but I feel nothing. I hear gibberish words coming out of me and as I keep brushing my fingers against my lips I start making sputtering, blabbering noises.
The strange creatures sitting at the long, rectangular table in front of me instantly turn their heads to look at me, apparently surprised I have regained consciousness. I tilt my head to the side, staring confusingly into these animals’ eyes as they glare at me. One of them has purple, spiralling horns. The one sitting on my left is covered in blue fur and its feet are like a ducks’. A slender, winged creature with huge, grey ears comes up to me and looks me straight in the eyes.
I see my arm raising and my hand stamping a bright red mark onto the creature’s cheek. I look at my hand for a second, shocked at what I’d done, and when I look back in its eyes it is not a bizarre-looking animal anymore but a bizarre-looking human: Sky.
“What was that for?!”
I pretend like I’d seen him as himself all along. “You slapped me, I slap you back.” I answer, with my chin held as high as I possibly can reach and my eyes closed. I stick my tongue out as well.
He raises both eyebrows.
“Yeah, but that was to stop you from falling asleep.”
I frown at him. “Well I also was trying to stop you from falling asleep.” He looks unconvinced. “You never know when you might doze off!” I add to defend myself.
“But you had a sedative!” He looks like he’s going to continue but he stops and says, “Oh. That’s why…” and grins.
I get bored of talking to him, he’s being rather annoying I think to myself, and look in front of me. Like Skylar, the monsters have transformed into five humans, all looking at me shockingly or amused. My eyes grab hold of a metal plate in the middle filled with chocolate chip cookies.
“FOOD!”
I lean into the table and dive for the plate.
A cold hand slaps mine hard as I lean back and take possession of the cookies.
“They’re not for you.” She spits the ‘t’ right at my face. The girl has as much bitterness in her tone as she does in her dark brown eyes.
“Oh, you must be Lou, right? It’s a pleasure to meet my most eager killer.” I beam at her my brightest smile.
She sneers back at me, not returning my kind gesture.
“What’s her problem?” I whisper to Sky.
He laughs under his breath.
“She’s we-ird… You know, I don’t think I like her much.” I say to him as I stuff a cookie inside my mouth.
“You know I can hear you, right? I’m right here.” Her tight, blonde ponytail somehow seems to stretch out her forehead more, making her look downright terrifying.
But I giggle.
“Whoopsie, Sky, she can hear us!”
I see him raise his arms up at our audience as if to defend himself but he can’t wipe the smirk off his face. His eyebrows form high arches above his eyes and I think to myself that he looks very silly.
He looks back at me and says, “You know, I think I rather prefer sedated Ember to normal Ember. She’s so much more fun.”
“Thanks.” I feel flattered by his compliment. Then I realize, “Hey wait, what’s that supposed to mean?”
My mind is about to get lost again in one of its endless roads of confusion when a voice brings me back to reality. It is rough, but I can taste the hint of honey in it.
“You.” I raise my head to look at those blue eyes that have been haunting me for the last few days, the eyes belonging to the voice. The left side of his lips curves upward. “Now I ask you, fate or coincidence?” He raises his eyebrows at me.
I know him.
The stranger from the green-house. The stranger who was intrigued by my strange sketches. Last night flashes in my memory like a lightning strike in the middle of a calm and still night. Sky. The colours. The Authority Members. The stranger who possibly saved my best friend’s life from entering chaos. The stranger who is sitting right in front of me, somewhere I was never even supposed to be in.
Or was I?
Is this really the game of fate and coincidence he is talking about?
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter The Fourth World: Chapter 5 Part 2Points:
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140,965 Literary Works • 673,797 Reviews
Hi Sphealwithit here....
This chapter is great and really funny. It flows really well.
You have a great imaginiation
There were some cute moments which I can never write too well but you managed just fine so congrats
Keep up the good work.....
Sphealwithit out....
Aw thank you!
Hello Writer Girl! Another day, another review
Ooh I like this chapter. It's kind of humorous seeing Ember under sedative, acting all funny. It's very amusing and I think it fit naturally as well. I also like the whole is this fate or coincidence thing going on... its putting a new perspective on the story and making it seem like it is fate, which just makes me all the more curious as to what fate has in store for Amber.
I don't really have many negative things to point out here. I did want to mention that when this blue-eyed stranger saved Skylar the ending of that chapter just whizzed by. We don't know if the guy says anything to Ember then or just trots off, and I wondered what he said or what power he has to make the officials stop. So maybe don't just cut off that chapter there because it leaves a lot to be desired and known.
In this one she immediately recognizes Lou as her eager to kill her person. I could understand that from her hostile acting towards Ember, but maybe you should also say Ember remembered that accent and then realized who it was just beforehand, or something. Adding to the realism and all
I wonder who is in charge here? Because whoever it is better speak up soon so we get to learn what this whole hideout is for and why they're there acting so secretive! I best read on to find out
Deanie x
This was very interesting and I instantly became hooked.
You didn't linger too long in this chapter and it was very imaginative.
There were some hints of a romance or maybe that's just me.
There was some humour and I really enjoyed reading this.
I would love to read more.
My favourite parts:
“Thanks.” I feel flattered by his compliment. Then I realize, “Hey wait, what’s that supposed to mean?”
“Whoopsie, Sky, she can hear us!”
He looks back at me and says, “You know, I think I rather prefer sedated Ember to normal Ember. She’s so much more fun.”
I preferred these parts because they funny and contained some cute moments.
The ending was good because it ended with a rhetorical question. A cliff hanger.
Usually I hate a cliff hangers, but this time I didn't as this is different to the others that I've read before.
Great job and keep on writing.
From LLZ
Hello!
I read and re-read your chapter some times, so I am going to start with the positives:
1. Nice group of characters, we can know who are the playful ones and the serious ones.
2. Nice reaction with the dizziness description, lips dormence.
3. Really good imagery with the turning forms (from monsters to human-like), I could see it with my mind's eye.
The only thing that I would suggest a rewriting is the part where you go from slapped to giggly: too fast.
But that's only one opinion. Take these in consideration, but valorize your style. Take some advices from people, but never forget how to write yourself into what you are writing.
Keep writing, never stop it.
I liked it. ^^