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La Galette (Boulangerie)

by stephndek


You're a company that can easily top the market
What with working with the likes of Nakumatt
I could blame the Belgians
They didn't leave us with much baking skill
But they are far away now and, you have what it takes...

The loaf I bought last time,
Could easily be the most refined Bread
I've ever taken and my,is it plain!
It’s white like a sheet!
I've never hungered for a little more bran,
As your whole-wheat costs much more.

Eating your bread made me realise that,
They're better things I could do with my life…
Like not repeating the same mistake
That has nothing to do with the stale, refined long salt loaf I couldn't eat,
Bought from the same spot, maybe it does.

Since I might again get reluctant to cook
I’ll be checking out the whole-wheat bread
Tell me I’m not making a mistake.

Having us import Ugandan bread is not cool.


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123 Reviews

Points: 13024
Reviews: 123

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Wed Apr 23, 2014 7:43 pm
Milanimo wrote a review...



Hi! I really liked this poem!
It's got great diction and the voice is clear and present.

My only two critiques(that the other review hasn't covered) is to make sure you put a space after the comma at "it is plain!" and "get reluctant" may want to changed to "be" or "become".

Other than that, great job! A very nice, happy poem!




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57 Reviews

Points: 246
Reviews: 57

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Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:15 am
Weymouth wrote a review...



Yo, Weymouth here for a review, cause i'm cool like that :)

This was an interesting poem, i had no idea what it was about until the second stanza, I would consider making it a bit more obvious. I do like the language you've used, like "refined" and "hungered" because it just switches it up a bit, makes the line easier to read.

One thing I did spot was in the penultimate line, "They're better things" should be "there are better things".

I like the effect of taking to someone throughout the poem, i feel like i can follow it well.

All in all, awesome poem, keep it up!




stephndek says...


thanks for the review, I'm glad you can enjoy this.




“Though lovers be lost, love shall not; And death shall have no dominion.”
— Dylan Thomas