LIFE
Am here, ready to rock you, world!
All you’ve to do is be firm and bold
You might just not get it
That is if you don’t play my game..
If you want to play, just do it,
You don’t need a formula, play
And if you don’t get it…maybe I’m not clear,
I be like poetry…and you want something straight, I fear
Ok, let me speak English now, right?
Follow your heart, your Passion…!
Passion is something understandable,
Not like
Life or poetry.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hey stephndek! Alex here from The majestic icicles!
I liked your poem! I like how you explain life's rules and if you don't like it, tough! Usually people would get all philosophical and serious in poems like this. You still put across a lot of philosophical meanings but you put it in a more modern and fast paced tone. An interesting new angle!
Just a few nitpicks:
Your punctuation is a bit weird in some places, like eclipses followed by exclamations or two dots instead of one. This does express the passion that this poem is all about but it does make it look a bit messy. Not important this one just my thoughts.
Shouldn't "Am" be "I'm"?
Overall, I really like how you wrote this poem. Very unique way of putting what you think across!
-Remember the Frozen Reviewers.
when i say .....!/? i mean think about that for a moment, the exclamation mark is to say that i find that curious or interesting or significant or....(as in you can think of what to add) Hope that helps. And yeah, its "i'm here" not "am here", thank you.
I love this. Ok lets revise that. IIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEE TTTTTTTHHHHHIIIIIISSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow. The one thing that I want to point out is that there is not a DISTINCT rhythmic patter i can see a A(maybe)ABCB then a AABCDEF try to make it a little more fluent. THIS IS NOT NECESSARY FOR IT TO BE AN AMAZING POEM. I just think this should be under consideration. Many famous poems don't have a distinct rhythmic pattern. For example, you have probably read Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's Paul Reverse's Ride. The rhythmic pattern vary with each stanza. So keep Writing!!!!!!!!!
i will keep writing maybe a pattern might creep in, Wordsworth, i have read some of his works, he's great. urakoze!
The poem was awesome.
I think a lot of people can really relate to this piece of literature.
It was short, but well written.
Keep up the good work!
piece of literature?..wow that's calling it something!
The poem was awesome.
I think a lot of people can really relate to this piece of literature.
It was short, but well written.
Keep up the good work!
I like that's named life in this poem. It's basically like me in my life.also it's the oppsite for the every end like the other sentence. Great job at this piece I love it.