Young Writers Society

I love reading Greek mythology! (Percy Jackson fan) So this was really nice to read.I think this is about someone trying to help Apollo out of his narcissistic nature.This could also be just one person trying to help another and the Greek mythology could just be a metaphor.Either way,I enjoyed this! I hope you have a lovely and fun day and night.

Wow! I don't get a chance to read much Greek-god inspired poetry, so this was a treat. I imagine @TypoWithoutCoffee who often touches on Greek-mythology themes would get a kick out of reading this.

I wasn't able to follow all of the references super well, but I'll comment on what I was able to catch.

The poem seems to be about a speaker who wants Apollo to break out of their pride and self-centeredness to find true love and fulfillment. If I'm interpreting this right it's written from the perspective of Apollo's reflection? That's a pretty neat point of view and definitely a twist I wasn't expecting.

I thought the form worked out pretty well, and thought the little refrain of "O Apollo" made the speaker seem more longing too with the repetition.

I wasn't quite sure why the speaker wanted to not be known as a nymph but a nymph and satyr as it says in the final two lines of the poem. Another portion I was a bit confused on is did you mean "you're pride / you're vanity" or "your pride / your vanity" I couldn't quite make it make sense with it as "you're" so thought it might have been a typo.

I think another thing that might bring this poem to the next level would be to either dive into the imagery pieces a bit more (ie. that linea bout turning into narcissus flower" was so intriguing I wanted to know more!) or maybe incorporate a bit of modernity into the poem in midst of the mythology to build up a little more reader connection on what this metaphor might mean in real practice. What does it mean to talk to your reflection and battle against pride?

Overall this poem really made me think, and I like the twists and turns in it. I usually always advocate for consistent line lengths but in this poem you made the variety of line lengths work and it seemed to pack even more punch in the way you divided and punctuated your lines.

Well done! Looking forward to reading more of your poems in the future. You might enjoy checking out National Poetry Writing Month starting out April 1!


alliyah