Young Writers Society

I like the concept of this poem, and can def relate to the idea of winter being a lot nicer from afar until you think about it. c:

The fuzzy embroidery of heaven on my windows

It's purgatory on Earth: not quite heaven, but at least not hell.

The climatic pests of sweat and back-breaking labor, The swarm of heat that pulses against the brain screaming,

"Seriously!"

Noses red as strawberries,

Necks bundled in layer after layer after layer of scarves,

Very true, and the structure is beautiful. All I would say is that maybe some more descriptive words would be beneficial. Overall, a great story.

Hello shayspeare! Incoming review!

I have a huge bias towards Winter and you told the hard truth in your work. With that said, let's get on with the review.

I'll start out with critique.

I don't have much to say in the realm of critique here. The only thing I could find would be this line,

Necks bundled in layer after layer after layer of scarves,

The fuzzy embroidery of heaven on my windows;

The climatic pests of sweat and back-breaking labor, The swarm of heat that pulses against the brain screaming,

Noses red as strawberries,

Yet, when I touch the watery solid with the warm flesh of my fingers, it's not heaven at all I'm seeing.

It's purgatory on Earth: not quite heaven, but at least not hell.

Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

I loved this take on winter!! I feel that most poems do tend to overly romanticize it. As a big fan of winter, I do disagree with your take, but I think you did a really nice job of putting a spin on all of the not so great parts of winter.

One thing I really enjoyed was your way of phrasing things. I know that's not the best way to put it, but some of your comparisons/imagery were absolutely delightful. The starting lines and ending lines were both equally strong; I loved that almost record-scratch transition from your flowing lines at the beginning, making us think that this is going to be another poem romanticizing winter, before you take it in an entirely different route. That line towards the end about how "it's never enough" was also strangely moving. And then your finale was amazing; I loved the celestial beings comparison.

One thing I was a little iffy on was some of your line breaks. I thought your line lengths were a little inconsistent, which isn't to say they have to be consistent; I just think that you had some realllllly long lines that probably could have been broken up/shortened. I felt like the line contrast didn't particularly add to the rhythm either, but visually, it was just too different.

Overall: nice work!! I think this was a lovely little tongue in cheek poem about the detriments of winter, a nice contrast to the usual poems about it. I hope to read more of your work on here soon! Until next time!!

This was a funny poem to read! I think that most of the time,Winter is painted as this magical Heaven…when,in reality,it’s unforgiving cold.It was a nice change of pace from a poem about Winter.I have enjoyed reading this funny and short but sweet poem.Great job on it! I hope you have a lovely day/night.