Drown them out;
The tender ballads,
The operatic arias,
Crescendo against
My brain.
---
Drown them out;
The sounds of the world,
They've become too loud:
Even the whispers
Graze my nerves.
---
Drown them out;
The synthetic world—
The blips,
The instrumentals that hide
In an unfocused background of shadows—
of melodious emotion
Is better than silence:
Thoughts subside when
The melody explodes into
A forte;
And a sizzling
Piano chains around
My brain.
---
Never too loud the world might be;
But, its synthetic counterpart is silence
To me.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Hey there! I really like this poem. The enjambment really adds to the reading experience. I left every line curious as to what was coming next, and it never disappointed! I'm a total sucker for poets who know that poetry doesn't have to rhyme, and you nailed it! As someone who has been to multiple rock concerts, the feeling of something being so loud you can barely hear was emulated very well, especially in the line "The melody explodes into/ A forte;" Speaking of that line, the musical terminology really adds to the poem as a whole. Long story (poem?) short, this is wonderfully written and I will certainly remember this!
Jesse here to review, so I am hopping in now.
This is meant to be poetry, but it sounds similar to a song. It doesn't really have a rhyme to it and some don't.
I review many works by you and I told you that before.
The ending was kind of stuffed in and it seemed pushed. I think you could have made it longer to avoid situations like that.
As the others said, the words are quite impressive, so I won't repeat that again.
My final advice would be to maybe practice for NaPoWriMo. You have serious potential in writing poems, so I recommend that.
Thanks,
Jesse.
Hey, it’s AngelLily,
I really like the adjectives you used, it really got my brain turning with images. I can relate to this piece of literature, because I also find the world too loud sometimes. It’s really good that you can write a piece that can be relatable to the reader. I really like how you repeated the phrase, “Drown them out”. I also really like the structure and flow of the piece. You are an amazing writer.
Keep up the good work,
~AngelLily 😇