Young Writers Society

Hi shayspeare!

My name is Elinor, and I thought I would drop by to give your poem a quick review! It's been a while since I've interacted with Hamilton, so I don't remember the song Burn, but I will take a look at your poem nonetheless.

I definitely enjoyed reading it, and I agree with Corvus that it feels more like a spoken word piece or dramatic monologue. I can even see it being put to music. I'm curious if you used any sort of specific structure for it, or if you just wanted to make it rhyme. The one suggestion that I would make is that all of the repetition of "skin" felt a little, well repetitive, and I'd look for ways that you could change your lines so it's not just the same word being repeated over and over.

Beyond that, I thought this had a really nice flow and a good rhythm overall! Nice work! I hope this helps, and keep writing!

Cheers,
Elinor

this is a great piece! although I almost hesitate to call it a poem, despite the lovely rhyme scheme, no, this is more like a dramatic monologue from a play. I really like the way you built the drama with the repeating lines as if the speaker is having a breakdown and getting more and more distraught. you did a very good job conveying emotion in this piece. I look forward to reading more from you!

Jesse here to review, so I am hopping in now.

"This is inspired by the song Burn from Hamilton."

I am a big fan of musicals, so I have high expectations.

Your rhyme scheme is easy and flowing. It all comes together nicely. The repetition of "burn" didn't really fit, but it gave an effect.

This was dramatic and it lived up.

Thanks,
Jesse.