If I died

Hi, Roxy!

So before I begin, I'm extremely bad at riddles. Like... I majorly suck. Period.

With that said! XD I found this piece really cool in a riddle sort of way, I'm just absolutely frustrated that I can't figure out what it's talking about. Can't quite piece the puzzle together. I might have to sic it on a friend or two to see if they can figure it out.

What I'm seeing is (and remember: I STINK at riddles) meeting someone/thing new today. I didn't know them yesterday, but I met them today. I tend to show lots of compassion to new people I meet, so I was totes fine with the first and second stanzas. I couldn't fit in the third stanza though... because "always" is such a strong word. (So is "hate," but "always" is what I'm talking about. xD) "Always" is implying that I never loved them today, which contradicts my original line of thought. But unlike what that third stanza tells me, I did love them today! Hence, my confusion!

I do have to say that punctuation is certainly a necessity in these kinds of pieces. I glanced at the other reviewers and found they managed to point that out. I'll emphasize the "wouldn't have" correction since a lot of people don't realize that's grammatically correct. Additionally, no commas before the word "because." ilu blue book of grammar (<== my source for, like, everything grammatical! And... punctual? I don't know. *flails* You can also google these things as well!) Only the words -"and," "or," "but," "for," and "nor" get the comma treatment.

Anywhodles! Another lovely piece. I wish I was smart enough to figure it out. D8

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

Hey! Pix here to review!

I'mma edit and review this- BOLD Is my editing.

If I died yesterday,
You would be indifferent,
Because you wouldn’t of known me.

If I died now,
You would always love me,
Because you could never grow to hate me.

If I died tomorrow,
You would always hate me,
Because you would never get a chance to love me

I think you should've added comma's at the end of each line, exept for the the end of each stanza. Overall, This is really good. I like the meaning.

~Katie

P.S I ment conventions, not convents.

That's a very insightful way of looking at things. I like the simplicity of this piece.
Your convents were good, it had very nice flow, and the title was very fitting.
My rating :5*s

My favourite part: If I died yesterday
You would be indifferent
Because you wouldn’t of known me.

If I died now
You would always love me
Because you could never grow to hate me.

If I died tomorrow
You would always hate me
Because you would never get a chance to love me

Keep writing!

w&w

Hey There Roxy,

I wanted to review some of poems today and this is my first one that cought my eye, So i'm gonna get right to it.

Now it's short, and it's bare when you glance at it, but when you start to read it I got confused. But when you confuse me thats a good thing that means that you got me hooked on it and i love whr a "poem writer" does that. So that was the biggest thing

Nxt i wanted to point out that That late line you said "If I died tomorrow, You would always hate me,
Because you would never get a chance to love me." I love, love, love that line and its sooo true.

Nxt thing i wanted to ask what inspierd you to wright this?
Because to me it seems someone has hurt you and made you write this out of anger. Like you were hurt. But it could have been something else But thats what it looks like to me.

But I love it. Keep writing
- Kisha Seltha' Nicole :p

Hello there, Roxy! ^^

I decided to go write some reviews and your piece was the first thing that catched my eye. I haven´t written a review in quite a while (shame on me!! OO) so my apologies if this isn't exactly helpful, but I'll do my best!

Okay, so let's start with what I think of this poem in general! 8D When I saw it at first, I thought it was going to be a bit to short but once I finished reading it, I realized that the size of this poem only added to it. I love the simple words that you used in this and how it yet tells so much. I really love the concept you used in this and they are wise words! *nods* So great job on that!

Let's go to the few tiny nitpicks I have! (don't worry, there aren't a lot XP)
I think this piece would look better and would be easier to read if you fixed your punctuation. =) You forgot a few commas and a period, but that's easy to fix! =D
And my last nitpick:

Because you wouldn’t of known me.

I got to say I'm a little confused, but that's a good thing. It makes it stick in your head, so great job.

I feel privelledged to be the first one to like and comment on this

This is really amazing! I love the concept of it, the writing is amazing, and...and....I just love it! xD I'm sorry that this really isn't that constructive of a comment, but gosh.....I love this! xD
keep writing!
~McKie