August
My doctor says I have a problem. Sends me to the special hospital. They ask me questions like "what does this mean to you?" and "how does this make you feel?" I say nothing, I just sit there. In my chair. I don't take the medication, makes me ill. Make me need to go to a hospital. A real hospital. It's hard to tell the difference. They are both white. They both think they know best.
People sit in the commons making jigsaws, and watching neutral shows. I'm in a house full of loons, and I don't belong here.
October
Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. I can hear the noise. Bleep. I don't understand how . . . The pills, The pills are in my food. Bleep.
December
Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Everything is white. The snow. The trees. The horizon. The walls, my bed, my clothes. Bleep. One pill takes you back. One pill takes you forward, but both take you somewhere in between,
March
Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. I'm accustomed to it now. Bleep. The paint smudges make sense. Stay away from fleet street doctor, Sweeney Todd is about.
April
Hello my old friend. Just finished the jigsaw with Anne. She is a Jew you know. Escaped the Germans she said. So many stories. Bleep
July
Happy Birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday Jack . . . or is it Liam? Bleep.
August
The Devil wears a white coat and carries a clip board! I don't think we are in Kansas any more Toto
November
Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. The king is coming, he knows the duke. Must have had some strange surgery. Calls himself lion heart. The breakthroughs in medicine
December
How do i know what is real? They gave me my file. It says I have a family. Says I was admitted four years ago. Says horrible horrible things. I think the doctor's are lying. I will never say what the file says. It will take more than that to break me. Bleep!
January
I killed them. My family, all gone. My mother liked roses, i always got her tulips. The paint smudges told me this. They're my friends. Goodbye my friend. I will miss you. The devil wears the white coat, Let him be judged and show his true colours.
March
Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Death and living have all been merged into one. I was talking to a man in a iron mask. He is more free than me. He knows the Devil wears a white coat, after all Lucifer was an angel.
July
I can hear bangs in the distance. The doctor's tell me it's a celebration. It sounds like war to me. Bleep! Grab your rifles and run men.
December
DA VINCI. The paint smudges were by DA VINCI.Bleep. The Spanish peacock told me this. There can be only one.
February
Can anyone hear the workers cough? Bleep.
April
Sophie. Sophie I'm sorry. I won't hurt you anymore Sophie. Your my wife and I love you. I never meant to hurt you Sophie. I didn't mean to hurt you.
June
Hallelujah. The doctor's say the pain stops tomorrow. Sophie is safe now. No more pain. I won't hurt anymore. Bleep!
Bleep.
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Your honor my clients' son kept this diary over the course of two and a half year. It shows his struggles to come to terms with what he did to his family. The oppositions case does not have a strong enough grounds to get my client to pay for the death, of their daughter and two grand-children. The man has already died who did the crime and suffered enough. He hallucinated vividly in the asylum. Seeing characters from Sweeney Todd, to historical figures such as Anne Frank and even to quoting films such as Highlander and The matrix. The man was a loving caring father and husband who one day just snapped. Your honor, if nothing else, i show that these records prove the man's insanity, making my client, free of all charges, on an insanity plea.
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140,626 Literary Works • 673,567 Reviews
Wow this is such an interesting idea, I really enjoyed it and it was kind of creepy, in a good way.
As for the comment above, I think the spelling errors would make it harder to read and therefore less pleasing, I like the way it is.
I like the part about the devil wearing a white coat and Lucifer being an angel.
I like how you have this part that sums it up and explains it, it sort of gives the story a twist. One thing though, it changes the tone. Do you know what I mean? I think you could change it a little bit to keep the tone, stiffer dialogue, maybe have the court scene. I'm not too sure but I love the mood the earlier part sets. I hope that wasn't too unclear...
Overall, it is a very interesting story. If the main character is the type of person that would have bad spelling, you may want to misspell parts in the diary section, like in Flowers For Algernon. For example:
I killed them. My famlee, all gone. My mother liked roses, i always got her toolips. The paint smujs told me this. There my freinds. Goodbye my freind. I will miss you. The devil wheres the white coat, Let him be jugded and show his troo colours.
Now, a few mechanics nitpicks.
Your honor, my clients' son kept this diary over the course of two and a half years. It shows his struggles to come to terms with what he did to his family. The opposition's case does not have
astrong enough grounds to get my client to pay for the death,of their daughter and two grand-children. The man who did the crime has already diedwho did the crimeand suffered enough. He hallucinated vividly in the asylum, seeing characters from Sweeney Todd, to historical figures such as Anne Frank, and even to quoting films such as Highlander and The Matrix. The man was a loving caring father and husband who, one day, just snapped. Your honor, if nothing else, I show that these records prove the man's insanity, making my client,free of all charges,on an insanity plea.