I followed my own very strict pattern that you will be able to see after you have read it. In each stanza, the first and second lines have only two syllables and the third line has three. I don't know if this is already a known pattern or something, but the first line started that way so I thought it fit the look of the whole poem itself.
Grape vines
crawling
up the gate
Tourists
loving
my garden
My eyes
watching
the small boy
Fingers
wander
to my fruit
Splendor
showing
as he chews
I didn't put any punctuation in it because I don't know where; I'm not the best poet and I know nothing about poetry. Help me out!
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This comes off as mainly observational or even a situational poem.
Its more of a frame by frame story of someone watching something happen.
The patter in it all was very good though and I liked the description of the mundane transforming into a poetic work of simplicity.
I wish I t was longer however and that It went on to describe a few more feelings , possibly about the narrator's feelings about the boy eating the fruit or of the just overall observations about the garden and of the boy.
Yeah, I know it was kind of bland. I thought of it and I really didn't know any words that I could change it to so it would still be in the 2 syllables for first and second lines, and three for the third. Anything that went outside of that I did not do and it is funny that you mention changing "wander" to "wandering" because that is what I had in my rough copy. I changed it because it "wandering" has three syllables. It wouldn't go with my pattern!
Do I have to change my pattern to make the poem better?
Honestly, I didn't find anything wrong with it, but neither did i find anything that good. It was kind of bland. try adding to the stanzas or using more vivid words.