Promise?

I love formatted poetry! I think you should work it so that the expected ending fits though, it would be a shame to not finish the pantoum. Here's a few suggestions:

If I shall [Should would be a better choice of word. It has a stronger sound and it would make the last line fit much better.] die before you,
you will turn your head away. [I'd quite like this to be a question. Will you turn your head away?]
Live the life I took from you, [This doesn't make enough sense. Vague, paradoxical poetry is only good where the reader can understand the image through other lines of the poem. How can one live a life that has been taken from them? Taken through love and now returned? If that's the case, I'd like to see you expand the image, maybe even dedicate an additional stanza to this possibility. Also, don't rhyme you with you. It's too lazy.]
you don't need me to stay. [Too much you! How about 'There's no need to stay.' That way it's like he's musing to himself, trying to convinvce himself that she will be fine without him.]

You will turn your head away;
remember the promise you made. [I'd rather you describe this promise a little, give us some imagery. Perhaps something along the lines of 'allow the binding edge to fade' and then the last line could be 'you have the memories we made.'
You don't need me to stay,
for your memories will not fade.

So it would be:

Will you turn your head away?
Allow the binding edge to fade?
There's no need to stay,
you have the memories we made.]

remember the promise you made.
You don't need me to stay, [Noooo this line has to be the third of your first stanza. It moves full circle which is why four is the perfect number of quartets, then no line if lest unrepeated.]
for your memories will not fade.
If I shall die before you,

[In turn this would become:

Allow the binding edge to fade, (notice the change in meaning, the firmer tone? He is possibly talking to himself now)
Live the life I took from you.
You have the memories we made.
If I should die before you. (It becomes a final thought. A thought that's going around in his head.)

Ok, it's going to be my first time reviewing a lyrics/poem.

First, I like it because is straightforward and smooth.
However, I would add a word to join together two words.

peanutgallery007 wrote:remember the promise that you made.

If I shall die before you,
You will turn your head away,