I put a lot of feeling into this because I was arguing while I wrote it. I'm starting to write more poetry than usual these days. Let me know exactly what you think of it!
My
How the tables
Will turn
Watch
how the dice
will roll
I
will emerge
victorious
You
just wait
and see
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139,566 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
i thought that it was very good. it was short sweet and to the point. i can really tell that u put the emotion into it because of the word choice. all in all very good.
I really liked this piece.
It's so true how in life so quickly things can change and that was expressed in that line.
Not only your strentgh as a writer is shown but as a person. The fact that you want to come up on top is a fabulous message.
The way you split this up was good. It was like you were putting an emphasis on watch, and I really like that.
But, on another note, why don't you add some punctuation? That could really improve the poem, though it is fantastic.
Good job!
Add me? I'm fragile_heart(!)'s best friend
And I'm new, and sadly, I only have two friends. *sniffle*
Thank you all so much for your thoughts, nit- picks, and reviews! I enjoy getting help with my poetry, because it needs it, hehe.
this is a bit short, but that's ok.
if you put in some punctuation, it would make it a lot better.
and i don't really understand what the message of this is supposed to be, or if there even is one??
my favorite part is "watch how the dice will roll." brilliant!
great job
ohhh, lala.
When I was reading it, I was almost shouting the words: my, watch, I and you and by the end of the stanza, I was calming the voice in my head.
I don't know if you understand this at all but the bottom line is that I really like it.
Keep up the good work Peanut.
Hi Peanut! June here!
Wow! You know, I recommend you do NaPoWriMo this year; if you don't know what it is, it's National Poetry Writing Month; where you write a poem each day, everyday, for the entire month of April. You should do it! I'm sure it will be a success for you if you try it, dear.
I like this poem a lot. I can tell that you were angry/upset when you wrote this. To me, it doesn't sound like a full-fledged argument, it sounds more like the rage after the argument, almost as if you're speaking slowly in fury or something. That's great, dear! You're giving a wonderful touch to the poem this way.
These days, it's not so common to have people use the word "My" as any word other than pertaining to oneself, so it was quite a pleasant surprise to see it used there, dear. I like it that way; although, if it was "Oh", instead of "My", it would give this poem a more relatable touch. Either way, it's great, dear.
I do especially love how you did not use punctuation. I think punctuation would have ruined this; it's implied where to stop and pause by line breaks, so I think that the way you wrote this is perfect, Peanut. Well done.
The last two stanzas are my favorite. I totally love how you are saying that you will be the victorious one. It seems as if you are holding back or being held back from getting physical/verbal revenge on the one you are arguing with, and it seems as if your victory will be the revenge you want/deserve. In that sense, it also seems like you are quite delicate in saying that because the slim chance remains that you will not victorious. Nevertheless, your determination makes you say that.
Fabulous job here, Peanut. Gold star, and keep up the wonderful poetry!
Juniper
see you didn't even rhyme! I thought it was good, but since i know the person who you were fighting with...i can say that the poem hits a little close to home.
Throughout the poem your voice is strong...literally; it seems like you are yelling at the reader. It also kind pf reminds me of those evil scientists muttering to themselves. Which is neither good or bad.
Overall i liked it; i feel the same way.
That was great work! I really liked the overall impression
Thats my favorite part, the dice rolling just never lets you down!
You made your point really clear though the poem was short. I liked how you broke up the lines it really gave a good final touch
Ooh, nice work, peanut. It was short and direct, one thing I liked about it. The word choice was appropriate and I could find only less than a handful of comments.
I liked how you kept the lines short, and how you compared this to a game. This gave the impression of a cold and calculating person, out for vengeance. Reminds me of The Chessmaster. If poems were animals, I would imagine this as a snake. Great work with this peanut!