On a day much like this
The world will stand motionless,
The skies will bleed red,
The ground will shake.
Our feet moved and our eyes watching
As the sun stops rising.
The moon forever trapped in the inky blanket of the night.
The very things that made us human
Slowly fading from the lives of those still here.
Our bodies and minds now soulless shells of what humanity once was.
For without the sun we will move in the dark,
Letting ourselves forget the moments of joy,
Letting ourselves live in terror.
Slowly losing the will to fight for the light.
Slowly losing ourselves in an eternal inescapable darkness.
And on this day that the night falls over mankind
The world will not move.
The world will cease it's daily race in circles,
Moving neither forward nor backwards
But stopping in its tracks.
Letting those upon it freeze as well;
The heartbeat of mankind stalled out.
Like a vehicle left to rust in an overfilled junkyard,
Wanting so much to find the open road again,
But hindered by it's inability to move from a spot.
Slowly nature takes over,
Rooting the vehicle in place,
Shrouding it in vines and weeds,
Leaves and roots.
Blossoms and thorns.
And like that vehicle so mankind will become,
Covered in the foliage of our own lives.
A camouflage of lies deception and greed,
And the thing is we choose to let it thrive.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hello ooh4764! CHRISSY321 here with a review!
*Happy Review Day!*
This poem is great! I love the description! The way you were able to think of the topic, and be able to describe what it would be- is just amazing! I just want to point out my favorite lines and why:
"A camouflage of lies deception and greed," I think that this speaks volumes! The sad truth is that most of our work is made of this, and the way you brought it up, and put it into the line- it is just so great!
"The heartbeat of mankind stalled out." When I read this, I think about the most important thing in the world being gone or broken. The way you said it, made it just so- beautiful- there just is no words to describe it! It is just so great, and I can see what it is like, if our world did end!
Please keep sharing with us and writing! This was a masterpiece!
Hello ooh4764,
kay10rys28 here,
I must say, that is some intense stuff you wrote!
Nonetheless, I love, love, love your poem. It shows the direct impact of our atrocious activities.
I have nothing for nitpicking. I think each stanza and every line of the stanzas are conveying a strong and evident bitter truth of human activities.
The stanza that I especially loved was
"The very things that made us human
Slowly fading from the lives of those still here.
Our bodies and minds now soulless shells of what humanity once was.
For without the sun we will move in the dark,
Letting ourselves forget the moments of joy,
Letting ourselves live in terror.
Slowly losing the will to fight for the light.
Slowly losing ourselves in an eternal inescapable darkness."
The descriptions were well explained and related-to.
Overall, good job and keep it up!
All the best and good luck for the future.....
Thank you very much. It means a lot to know you enjoyed it.