E - Everyone

The Life Cycle of an Unrequited Love

You asked him out once, 
trying way too hard to be casual
"Hey, want to see a movie tomorrow?".

He said he had plans with his roommate,
and you walked away,
a pile of sweated out makeup and mixed emotions.

Two weeks later,
you weren't following him,
you just happened to be walking the same direction
as the beautiful tall boy in the orange jacket
when you fell on the December ice.

That night, you were icing your ankle
when you saw the little heart icon: "In A Relationship",
and you wished you could take ibuprofen for a bruised heart
but you settled for an overdose of Taylor Swift instead.

Eventually, you chased new dreams
and faced new rejections,
but your heart still fluttered its way
back to nineteen and naive
when you saw a tall blond man in an orange jacket.

You saw the wedding photos he was tagged in.
His smile was a beautiful ghost,
best left in memories of old dorm hallways.
You could only hope that he was happy.

Yesterday you saw him again
on your iPhone screen,
posing with his wife and a jar of pasta sauce.
Prego.

And you can't help but laugh.

Comments & reviews · 12
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I also really like your profile picture :)

Hi! I'm here to do a review :)

I really like this poem, I think almost every girl can relate to this poem.
My favorite line from the poem is

you wished you could take ibuprofen for a bruised heart but you settled for an overdose of Taylor Swift instead.

I also really like the stanza that says
Yesterday you saw him again on your iPhone screen, posing with his wife and a jar of pasta sauce. Prego.
that was very clever. I really like how you abruptly said "Prego.", it helps the reader understand how you were just like "wow, okay" you know?
I think for the line where you said
a pile of sweated out makeup and mixed emotions
you could elaborate more on the feelings you had. I think your intention may have been that the reader could have interpreted that, but I personally would like to know what exactly YOU felt, not my interpretation of you. I think that would be good because the readers don't know you personally, so I think if you just mention how you really felt then that would be great!
In the first stanza I feel like you could elaborate how you felt maybe walking up to him, and what was running through your head. Anxiety? Happiness? Embarrassment? Maybe also add in how you said it to him, maybe your voice was shaking, or you said it fast so you could just get it over with. Maybe you have a certain thing you do when your nervous that you could put in there?
Overall, I really enjoyed your poem. It had so many clever little details, and I laughed aloud at a lot of those things because they are things that I do in situations like that. Your poem is very well written and it sounds great! Keep it up!

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TwilightMuse
Comment

This is adorable and perfect and I love it!

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unluminescent
Comment

This is too cute! I just love the ending. :)

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Pan
Comment

Edit** Sorry for the double post ;-;

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Pan
Comment

SSyhsahfafhhh
I flailed around and smushed the keyboard.
You gave Pan feels.
Don't do that.

LOL. Sorry? :P Thanks for commenting! :)

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allirogers
Review

I absolutely love the details and the imagery used in the poem. I love the imagery used such as [quote]"His smile was a beautiful ghost"[quote/]. I feel as if most people can relate to a situation like this, which makes the poem much more likable.
[quote]"but your heart still fluttered its way back to nineteen and naive[quote/] this quote really speaks to me, although I'm not nineteen. It shows how you've matured, yet you still remember your young crush. [quote] "you weren't following him, you just happened to be walking in the same direction" [quote/] This made me laugh, because that's something a teenage girl in love would say.
Overall, I love the imagery and the details. I felt like I knew him. And the laugh at the end of the poem shows you're happy for him and his wife, which is a great way to end the poem!

Thanks! :) Yeah it's strange to see how much I've grown up and to look back on how I felt. Glad you liked it! :)

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deleted5
Comment

I'm reporting you for assault cause that hit me right in the feels.

Haha. Thanks? :P

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Laradear
Review

That was both heart-wrenching and funny. I really loved the way you described this love following her throughout her life and how she always came back to the boy she loved. I was relieved of some of her heartbreak when you cracked the joke at the end about the sauce and the wife being "Prego". I can really feel the pain and yet happiness of the character. Love had never been so conflicting.

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YoungPoe Review

Well, I'm nineteen and quite naive, so I related. Also a huge T-Swizzle fan. I have yet to be in a relationship, and I have yet to witness, through social media, a past romantic flame (again only nineteen) and his love life evolve. Not there to witness it personally but using social media to is something I can still relate with. Going on Facebook and looking at old friends Facebook pages, and seeing how they have changed from appearance, to what interests them, and then realizing how I've done the same. Still knowing whats going on in their life even though I'm not in "said life", and taking comfort in that and maybe, wishful thinking perhaps, their looking at my page as well. So thanks I guess... I'm all nostalgic now.

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! :)

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TeenQueen
Review

Wow, that last line was such a plot twist.

Okay, I am going to go off on a tangent now. Bear with me. Today, I spent my afternoon going through an old notebook that contains 6 years (with huge gaps in between) of teenage angst, and totally-not-cliched rants ranging from "nobody gets me" and "I will always love you" to song lyrics and conversations with myself. The point of this being that the tone of your poem is completely in sync with my mood.

Coming to the point now, I really like this. It made me laugh. It is the right amount of lightheartedness and wistfulness, and just goes to show that literature that is simplistic in form is just as difficult to achieve as any other form.

I like how you use the orange jacket as a symbol - it's so simple and yet powerful because it's very real in terms of an average human tendency to associate disparate things to our own personal memories. Also, the Taylor Swift bit. So embarrassingly relateable.

I also love the phrase "nineteen and naive." Your writing seems to flow very effortlessly.

Thanks! Yeah I can totally relate through looking through old notebooks and that cringing/nostalgia. This one I wrote a couple weeks ago just after seeing the "Prego" announcement. Polished it up a bit and then posted it. Thanks again! :)

I can't say I understand the form of this poem, or how you constructed it (I'm no poet), but I like it. It has a pleasing mixture of timeless romantic lines like "His smile was a beautiful ghost" along with modern vernacular "and you wished you could take ibuprofen for a bruised heart". I find this fitting, since the subject of unrequited love is old as dirt, but the new dynamics provided by a social media world where facebook is king is oh so modern.

I particularly liked the line "a pile of sweated out makeup and mixed emotions", for the way it ended that stanza on a flustered, discombobulated, frustrated and unsatisfied note. It had a lot of forward-moving energy.

I thought the line "That night, you were icing your ankle when you saw the little heart icon: 'In a Relationship'" really captured the smug, out-of-nowhere, inspiring-impotent-rage-and-helpless-sadness nature of facebook's method of informing the public of romantic hook-ups. I felt all the emotions with your character, and I smiled at her method of dealing with it: Taylor Swift binge :)

At all times, your character and the emotions and situations she is dealing with were described realistically and vividly. Your character has a real, relate-able charm to her.

Your language is crisp, well-chosen, and vivid. I like the orange jacket, the December ice, the Prego sauce, Taylor Swift, dorm hallways, and the lore of facebook. Your voice is eloquent as well as plain-spoken; speaking truth in a very winning way.

This poem is so good, and it goes down so sweetly. I won't call it a 'spoonful of sugar', because the subject matter is necessarily bittersweet.

Well, you're getting a follow from me!



I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
— Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest