Leno's will (chapter 5)

Everyone gathered together and sat down where they could. At the front of the crowd sat aunt Mara on a raised heap of earth which served as a stool. Tyson sat at the back of the crowd and fiddled with his fingers in an attempt to look uninterested. But even he liked hearing aunt Mara's stories. She was the second oldest person in sector twelve so she often told the best stories. Old Timer Joe was more of an entertainer with his sudden bursts of laughter. Aunt Mara's stories ranged from historic legends to fiction. Many people shouted the names of different stories they wanted to hear. Ivan stood up and silenced everyone.

"Everyone, today is Mika's special day, so I think he should decide". Many heads nodded their approval whilst some groaned at the prospect. All eyes turned towards Mika who fidgeted uncomfortably. He wanted to pick something everyone would at least be satisfied with. Woody slapped him on the back in a friendly manner that signalled for him to hurry up. Finally he opened his mouth and said, "Can we hear about the war of the three nations that started a century ago". Silence fell once again but this silence had a cold touch to it. Aunt Mara stood up and cleared her throat as if nothing had happened.

"About a hundred years ago from now a war started. The war was between the three nations Adede (Ad-ee-d), Golabad (Go-la-bad) and Sinatra (Sin-nant-ra). The country we live in today is known as Machinro (Mash-shin-ro) and it is divided into six parts. The middle and eastern parts are known as the slave domains where we reside. The west is where remaining free humans and wild lands are. The north is split into two and that is where the capitol is. The south is uninhabited. However the Kingdom of Machinro was only established forty years ago. Before that it was only four parts. Those would be the so called three nations I mentioned earlier along with the still uninhabited south. 

The south land is called the realm of the divine. And there are many reasons why it called so. Its edges are packed with mountains and volcanoes. There are deep lakes everywhere and all across the land storms ravage the living. Earthquakes are frequent too. I say uninhabited but I mean in terms of humans. For you see one species did reside there. In the middle of the land was a valley where dragons dwelled. Yes dragons. And it was decreed that creatures who could live in such a land had to be honoured with the title of divine, hence the realm of the divine.  

Now before we go any further I better explain some concepts. Firstly the valley was very useful for all the nations. It had untouched resources plus the dragons. Dragon bones can make structures that are long standing and resistant to most things such as weather, time, fire, etc. Their organs and tissue can be ground up to make many forms of medicine. Their eyes can be used by prophets to predict the future. But their scales are by far the most valueable. Whilst the dragons are alive their scales serve as an almost indestructable armour. But when dead the scales become as soft as paper. Throughout history humans have acquired the bodies of only six dragons and they were not very large at all. The scales can be melted and moulded into swords. Using some unknown method the swords are activated so that the scales are once again back to their powerful selves as if they were still on the body of a dragon.

Out the six swords made, each nation possessed one. The fourth was destroyed in a battle long ago. That in itself is a mystery since no one knows how to destroy a scale blade. The fifth was lost to a foreigner and the last is lost some where in these three nations, no one knows where. So those are all the reasons why dragons and their land are valueable to humans. Wait patiently Woody, I am getting to the story soon enough. 

Now let me explain quickly about something called essence (a-sense). It is something that appears inside people with strong souls. It is extremely rare and it appears within all species. It grants the person or being supernatural abilities. For example in the war of nations there was a man in Adede who possessed the essence of sound. He could hear for miles and so he proved to be a very useful spy. That is until his ears got chopped off by agents from Sinatra. Anyway, such a rare and powerful substance started appearing only within the last hundred years after the war started. There are people who claim that essence existed before but no such recordings are there. But what makes dragons so supreme is that every single dragon develops essence as they mature. 

Dragons possess common essences such as essence of fire and others. But as you can guess the dragons that breath red fire are the ones who actually have essence of fire. There are many others that they possess, the rarest of them being essense of magic. 

Dragons grew to some extent but after that they could only grow by killing others dragons and consuming essences from within them. This too was peculiar since essence was supposed to have no form yet dragons can consume it like anything else. About over a hundred years ago there lived a dragon called Valcarion (val-care-ion) who began going on a rampage. He killed many dragons. He possessed the essence of magic. He couldn't fly or breath fire. He couldn't go under water and burrow but he had magic. He could create shields and summon storms amongst various other things. Because of his bloodlust the other dragons started to die out. There was a time when only he lived in the realm of the divine. And he made a point of showing this to the nations. He would lfy out once a year across each of the three nations and cast a spell on them. He did many things such as call a storm, cause a draught or flood, etc. By this point he was huge and powerful. But it so happened that he began to die. This was obvious in his last few years of flight.

Then exactly hundred years ago it was confirmed that Valcarion had died. This meant that the realm of the divine was truely uninhabited and on top of that it was littered with many dragon bodies as well as Valcarion's. Since dragon bodies did not decay they would remain there forever until someone made use of them. Or so the nations thought. Each nation wanted the land for themselves and thus the war of the nations broke out. For fivety-five years the war continued. Since each nation possessed a dragon sword each they were practically neutralised. No one nation could get an advantage over the other.

Adede had the most resources for armour and weapons but due to disease its population was lowered. Golabad was the largest nation but because it was between both the other two nations in the north it recieved double the number of attacks. Sinatra is and was filled with sand and infertile soils. then on the fivety-fifth year the nation of Golabad bought forth its weapon. The most advanced technology then was a mechanically operated door and catapults. But what Golabad bought forth was on a different level. They bought forth ten of the first machines, one of them being the robot king who currently reigns from within the capitol.

These beings made of metal were devastating. These ten marched across the lands slaughtering whole armies in one go. Men ran in fear not knowing how to fight these metal titans. Only catapults could destroy them but by the time that was realised the machines had gotten too close. Out of the original ten only one survived and you can guess who that was. But by that point both the other two nations had suffered many casualties. And then all hell broke loose. For Golabad realeased its real army of machine, a thousand strong. This continued for four years. Then on the fifty-ninth year the then prototype-one claimed himself as king of the machines and rebelled against Golabad. The machines rallied behind him and Golabad fell within a year. The other two nations were already practically defeated so they too succumbed to the inevitable. And so sixty years from the start of the war and forty years ago from now -if you can do the maths, the war of nations ended. Then began the age of machine. The race of metal conquered the three nations and the south and split the regions.

Of course the south still remains uninhabited or so since I last heard for even the machine have problems with travelling into that land. Anyway that is how things came to be how they are today. Forty years of enslavement for all the humans in these lands because of our idiotic rulers a hundred years ago."

The crowd remained silent as aunt Mara stood up. She was tired and clearly needed some rest. Just then Old Timer Joe stood up and shouted," and thiry-six years ago was the founding of the first ever slave settlement. It would be the first of many. Any how they bought in two thousand slaves to begin with. And I was one of them, ha ha ha". The eerie silence remained.

                                                                                    *  *  *  *  *

"Do you not watch where you are going boy?" questioned the man, "and I can see that you also don't speak when spoken to". 

"Ugh, what?" stammered Leno as he regained some of his wits. He stood up and patted some of the dirt of his behinds. 

"You have a very unique looking face. Your golden locks and your glow tan coupled with those sapphire eyes remind me of someone I used to know, what is your name boy?"

"Its Leno and stop acting so...so..so superior. You are just like the rest of us, a biodas". Leno was furious, this man had a very smug look across his face, too smug for his liking. Right there and then he would have preferred Tyson which was shocking since he never even liked the thought of him.

"No need to get angry. Anger, sorrow, they are all useless emotions that get in the way of conquest. Discard them and your path will become clear. I am here for my own purposes. You look surprised. Yes you heard me right. I am no biodas as you just said. I am a human being with a free will. I have no fear in telling you for the time is almost up. You have to make a choice. Run back to your happy little sector and hold on tight. Soon your world will turn upside down", chuckled the man as he turned and walked away. He had done it again. He had left Leno speechless. What had he jsut said? Could it be true?

Leno raced back to sector twelve. His blood was boiling and his heart was thumping faster than he was running. Nothing mattered to him now, he only wished to see the people he loved. He had been told to hold tight and for some reason he knew that was exactly what he should do. Just as he turned the corner into the sector, a stone hit him squarely on the head. He heard familiar voices shout his name as he fell backwards into the floor. That was twice in one day. His vision became that of darkness. As he blurred into another world he saw the faces of Mika and Judi as they rushed to his rescue. He reached his hand out but he knew even then that he would be gone by the time they grabbed hold. 

How strange thought Leno. He was so close to them yet never had he been so far.  

  

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
Twinkle4ever
Review

It seems like there’s a lot more to this story than I’d thought. I never even imagined that there would be dragons in it. That was a very good idea. I liked the description about the dragons, how their scales can be used for making swords and armor. I wonder what technique the humans had used to make the swords and armor as strong as it was when the dragon was alive. You should mention that. You can do that by making someone interrupt and ask the question. Aunt Mara would reply to that and continue with the story. You could also add some funny scenes here and there like two people start arguing and Aunt Mara silences them. I’m surprised I took in all the info in one go. I guess this time you made it sound so interesting.
I don’t like that the humans fought over power like that, killing each other thoughtlessly. But that cleared things. So the main bosses here are machines. I would totally want to know more about their destructive force. What is it that scares the humans so much? Do the machines launch missiles or bullets? Do mention that too, perhaps in later chapters. And I didn't quite understand the last paragraph. It was all too sudden and I'm not sure where the rock might have just come from. Was it that man?
Overall, I felt like I was reading a bedtime story. I enjoyed it quite a lot. I just wonder if that new guy has that essence in him. It was a really unique idea too. Supernatural powers are found in so many books but you made this sound so different than other stories. Hats off to you for that. Keep writing, hope my reviews are helpful even a little.

User avatar
Noelle
Review
Noelle wrote a review · Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:00 am

Hi there!

*I like how you described the silence after Mika asked to hear the story. There's some good foreshadowing in it and makes me think it's a sensitive subject among the slaves.

*when you're writing a long piece of dialogue that spans over several paragraphs, you have to put quotation marks at the beginning of each paragraph. They go at the beginning but not the end. The only time you put quotation marks at the end is when the dialogue is finished. This is a clarification thing. It helps the reader understand that someone is talking and it's not a description.

Now before we go any further I better explain some concepts.

*I'm not a fan of this sentence. I feel like it's not needed especially since she's telling a story. She could simply change from one thing to another without a transition like that. That could just be how she tells stories though.

Wait patiently Woody, I am getting to the story soon enough.

*I think you should add something in here about Woody getting itchy or raising his hand or almost calling out or something. This seems to come out of the blue and there's no emphasis on it.

Overall this is a good chapter. I like how you used Aunt Mara's story to tell the story of how the world became what it was instead of simply telling us. It was a very interesting story too. And I'm thankful for the pronunciation guides in parenthesis. I would've been guessing how to pronounce half of those words.

By the end of Aunt Mara's story, I had forgotten all about Leno. It's weird that this guy is a human with free will. How did he get in if he's no a biodas? Why would he even chose to be there in the first place? Very interesting. I can't wait to see what he's up to.

Keep writing!
**Noelle**



The first thing I do when I have a good quote is always to put a goat in it. uwu
— Liminality