The slave settlement was found in middle of a plain land. For miles in every direction the land was seemingly flat. This was an ideal location for the slave settlement as it prevented escape. Anyone who did try to escape would be seen by the watch-towers for miles on end or so it seemed. The red sun did not make matters any better. Since water was scarce in the plain lands any who ventured out without a good supply of it would find themselves dried to the bone in less than two days.
Within the slave encampment the land was divided into four regions. The second largest of the regions was the slave yard where the many biodas continuously dug and mined for ancient metal. The next largest region was the furnaces where biodas would melt old machines that no longer functioned. The smallest region was the laboratories where the biodas were experimented on for the prosperity of the race of metal.
The final region was located in the centre of the slave settlement and it was by far the largest for it was the burrows. This was where the biodas were kept when they were not working. This was only a mere six hours a day for everyone. The burrows were very similiar to the structure of ant hills. It was made out of hardened earth and it tunnelled deep into the ground. To put it simply it was a hollow dome made out of earth. Within the burrows there was a large hall where all the biodas were allowed to meet and socialise. This hall contained a built in canteen and had many tables as well as a huge space to the side of it where people could do anything they wished.
The rest of the burrows consisted of small caves dug into the side of the walls. These caves were only large enough to fit one human. In essence these were what constituted for rooms. There were no doors. Hundreds and thousands of these mini-caves lined the walls. These rooms were divided into different sectors. In all there were forty sectors each containing two hundred small caves which meant the total count for the biodas in this one slave settlement was eight thousand. Different sectors worked during different hours so that there was no congestion in the main hall.
The sector that Leno and Mika were part of was sector twelve. This sector had experienced a fortunate event some time ago. The walls around some of the caves had collapsed. This had resulted in a large space being created. The number of caves had reduced but in their place a much smaller but definitely adequate hall had been created. For some reason this event had gone unregistered by the wardens. The outcome of this was that Leno's sector did not socialise in the main hall but simply had their own private area. The people who had lost their rooms shared with others. This had been difficult at the start since there was little space for more than one person in each cave but eventually the people had learned to cope. Thanks to this very fortunate event the people of sector twelve had become a close-knit community and everyone in it had learned to love each other dearly. This was the only trace of happiness in Leno's life.
"Ouch, careful aunt Mara. It's really beginning to hurt now. How is this supposed to help?"
"Keep still Mika, if I don't apply any ointment, it could get serious," retorted aunt Mara. She was the assigned medic in this sector. Each sector had one. When biodas worked in the slave settlement for a long time they were given rankings. Biodas with low or no rankings were killed whenever they failed to do their work efficiently or caused a problem. But when biodas with high rankings did the same their reasons were assessed. And if the reason was due to some kind of injury they were allowed to be cured. The reasoning behind this was that biodas with high rankings were good workers and it would be a waste to kill them off. Mika had been in the slave settlement for almost five years and he had racked up quite the ranking. This gave aunt Mara the right to request medicine and treat his wound.
"Is this gonna be over soon? Please tell me its almost over, ouch!" yelled Mika as he clenched his fists in an attempt to defy the pain.
Leno looked at him with admiration. Mika was an easy-going and simple-minded person. He never complained and never expected anything from anyone. Yet whenever anyone was in need of anything he would be one of the first people to offer them assistance. But, tragically, his appearance always made it so that he was the one who looked as if he was in need of assistance. Working under the scorching gaze of the crimson sun resulted in people getting a toned complexion but Mika's pale skin refused to change colour. This always made people think he was ill and for those who did not know otherwise they would offer him help much to his dismay. His slender build coupled with his sharp cheekbones and his almost-hollow cheeks made him look underfed yet this was far from the truth. Since he was a high ranking biodas his rations were actually more than what most people recieved. He ate a certain amount and then gave the rest to others but he definitely was not starving as others often believed.
Mika brushed some of his raven hair off his face and noticed Leno gazing at him.
"What's up with you?" he asked.
"Who me? Its nothing. Just that you are an idiot sometimes. You really try too hard to do stuff for others and do not pay any attention to yourself"
"What! Don't call me an idiot you moron!" shouted Mika as he tried to force himself up. Suddenly he let out a yelp of pain and crashed to the floor. He clutched his foot and clenched his teeth.
"No Mika, you really are an idiot and you Leno, you are a moron too. Can't you two argue some other time?" yelled aunt Mara. The short little woman stood up and fixed her hands on her hips. She, too, had a head full of black hair but unlike Mika's hair, hers was lined with streaks of grey and white, both from aging and stress. She had a few wrinkles under her eyes to show her forty-eight years of age.
"Leno, I have treated his wound. Now he just needs to let it heal. A good rest will do him good. But before he does that Judi told me that she will be waiting for you two. You know where to look for her. She has dinner prepared and I think it is about time you two had something to eat. So I want you to support him and make sure he does not over-exert himself. You two carefully make your way to Judi and have dinner. Once you are done you come straight back and go to sleep. Do you understand?" questioned aunt Mara with her usual protective gaze burning through her emerald eyes. She looked at Leno for a reply. He continued to stare at her for a little while longer before taking a step back.
"Understood aunt Mara" replied Leno as he hosted Mika on one shoulder and turned to leave,"thanks by the way for that". With that the two boys made their way to Judi.
Aunt Mara smiled as she saw the two boys disappear round the corner into the network of tunnels that made up the majority of the burrows. She cared deeply for these boys as she did for many others. What saddened her was knowing many of the people she cared about would live this pathetic excuse for a life in imprisonment. Old people did not survive long in the slave settlements. They were usually sent to the laboratories or they were unable to keep up with the demanding labour and were killed. She had escaped both of these situations only because she was a medic. This made her useful so the wardens had spared her. This meant she was one of the few people who remained that knew of life outside of slavery. She remembered the good old days and she shed three tears. One for what had been in the past, one for what was in the present and the last for what would never be in the future.
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Canary word: Present
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Really Interesting chapter. Good detail, and well written. Although i do have to agree with Twinkle4ever on the (should be 'in the middle of' other than that really good.

can't really spot anything else that sticks out.
Oh gosh this chapter was quite interesting. Although I had to read the description about the settlements at least two or three times to stick it inside my head. That’s sort of my fault, I guess. I’m not good at understanding a lot of description all in one go. But I’m amazed that you’ve calculated and planned it all out so good.

The slave settlement was found in middle of a plain land. (It should be ‘...in the middle of...’)
... and make sure he does not over-exert himself. (From here to)- You two carefully make your way to Judi and have dinner- (here)
Aunt Mara already told them to go to Judi so it’s kind of repetitive.
Nothing else to say here. You worked well getting rid of all your mistakes in the previous chapter. And you’ve done better paragraphing here as well. It’s like you’ve improved all too quickly. I’m starting to understand Leno a little more now and I definitely understand what kind of a person Mika is. I like them both. They could make an awesome team. One thing I like most here is that you didn’t introduce too many characters all at once otherwise it just makes it hard for the readers to picture them. And the way you wrote, I could envision everything clearly.
“No Mika, you really are an idiot and you Leno, you are a moron too. Can't you two argue some other time?" yelled aunt Mara. (That line got a laugh out of me. It was quite funny, entertaining. It’s good to laugh once in a while when there’s so much going on in the story that keeps the reader’s mood serious.” I’d sure want to see where you go with this story.
Hi there!

Back to review another chapter in your novel.
Your description in this chapter is great. I can imagine everything that is going on and everything you have described. Except now I can't stop thinking of the characters as ants because of your comparison to ant hills.
Anyway, this was really good and I really didn't have anything to critique. As a matter of fact, I only have three things to say about this:
"For miles in every direction the land was seemingly flat."
-was it flat or not? I don't know if land can be seemingly flat. Maybe you could say it looked flat, but it was just an illusion. I'm guessing by this sentence that the land really isn't completely flat?
-only six hours to rest a day? That sux! I think that's about the same amount of time I'm actually doing something during the day...
"She remembered the good old days and she shed three tears. One for what had been in the past, one fore what was in the present and the last for what would never be in the future."
-I absolutely love these last sentences. It's a great way to end the chapter.
Overall this is a great addition to your novel. I really hope we learn the main conflict soon. Are Mika and Leno going to run away? Is the settlement attacked? Are we going to meet one of the people that have enslaved them? And what will happen to Aunt Mara? She is quite old after all.
I can't wait to read more! Keep writing!
**Noelle**
thanks again for your support and with the 'seemingly flat' landscape keep that in mind, there is a twist to that, you will see later. In a few chapters most of your questions will be answered i think, very soon i will write the next chapter because i already had everything planned out for ages