"The food is delicious Judi", mumbled Mika as he gulped down a piece of bread.
"Thank you Mika, thats really kind of you", replied a clearly delighted Judi.
Leno sat quietly as he ate his meal. His expression was unreadable but anyone who had known him a long time would know that he was bored. Since Mika had been injured Judi had poured all her attention on him much to his delight. But since he was so poor at handling her full-on attention he kept finding ways to compliment her only to turn betroot red everytime she beamed at him. Leno himself did not have any romantic intentions concerning Judi and he knew Mika wouldn't appreciate him interrupting. Although the three of them were friends it still didn't do anything to bridge that small gap between Mika and Judi. Leno had known both and introduced them but it was difficult to get them to mix with each other. This was mainly due to Mika's affection for her and the fact that she was so aloof with these things; she never realised. Judi being very beautiful recieved such affection from most people and so she couldn't tell the difference anymore even with Mika embarrassing himself to get her attention.
"I am not really hungry so you can have my share, Mika"
"No you don't have to do that Judi and stop feeling sorry for me"
"Oh Mika, don't be silly, here let me". Judi leaned closer to feed Mika and Leno realised this was too much for him to handle. Mika shot Leno a look of desperation. Leno happily obliged.
"Hey Judi can I ask you something?"
"Huh, oh sure Leno, what is it?"
"Have you noticed how recently there have been a lot of humans coming into the slave yard, don't you think that is suspicious?" enquired Leno. Suddenly Judi sat up straight and fixed her gaze on Leno. Her smile was gone and she was very serious.
"Leno, I am going to say this only once so listen carefully. They are not called humans, they are called biodas. We are slaves so we follow rules set by our slavemasters, it is whats best for all of us. Also if there are more biodas, then it simply means more people have been captured somewhere.None of it concerns you and so this is the last time I want to hear any of it. Do not answer back! Just finish the rest of your meal"
"Yes ma'am" mumbled Leno with disappointment etched across his face.
Judi always knew what was going on but since she knew about his curious nature she always kept him in the dark. Of course he could always argue back to her but the only reason she took such authority was because she cared about him and so Judi assumed such rights. If Leno was to argue back, she would withdraw from him and would proably never return such affection. So for that reason when Judi actually became serious both Leno and Mika never questioned her judgement, not that Mika ever did anyway.
The three biodas made their way out when they ran into a familiar face.
"There you are, aunt Mara wants to see you three", said Ivan, "I've been looking everywhere for you. But of course I should have guessed where you lot would be"
"Oh we are sorry Ivan, didn't aunt Mara tell you where we were?"questioned Judi.
"Well she conveniently missed that part out".
With that the four of them made their way back to sector twelve. There a clearly agitated aunt Mara was pacing up and down the hall.
"There you are. Right, Mika you are injured so go and get some sleep-you need it. Leno you go help him and while you are at it, go to bed as well since you worked hard today. Go on now."
Both boys looked puzzled. From Ivan's tone they assumed she wanted to tell them something important but who were they to question. As the boys left Judi tensed. She knew something was up.
Judi waited until the boys were out of sight and then turnd to aunt Mara.
"What is it?"
Aunt Mara turned to Ivan, who nodded and walked off to keep a lookout. No one could over hear what was about to be said, especially Leno.
"Judi, today a man-I mean a biodas, turned up. I know him from my past. Not on a personal level but enough so that I know he is trouble. You are to stay away from him and do your best to keep the boys from him as well. He is trouble and something tells me bad times are ahead. Please do not question me anymore but you must trust my judgement"
"Understood aunt Mara, I will do my best" replied Judi. She walked away with a heavy feeling in her chest. Aunt Mara was usually composed and never let anything bother her, yet she could not control herself at all. She was restless and very agitated. Who was that man with the power to unnerve Mara Tombstone and even put easy-going Ivan on edge.
The next few days passed uneventfully. As instructed Judi kept the boys away from any news of the man. She herself did not hear much. The gossip began to die down after a few days. As it happened, not many people were informed of his arrival anyway- the problem was with the few that were. Tyson found out and tried unsuccessully on many occasions to slip Leno the information. But he was weak and small and even he reverred Judi when she was angry, so he decided to give up eventually.
On one such day Mika finished his shift in the furnaces and was about to head back when he recieved a surprise. Leno was waiting for him. This was very unusual indeed. Normally he would pick Leno up but today he was spared the task of fishing Leno out of his pond of curiosity.
"Wow, this is an unfamiliar sight."
"Yeah I know, the wardens weren't paying much attention so I slipped out early. Don't give me that look, it was only five minutes. Hey that leg of yours has gotten better"
"Alright don't change the subject, just wait till we get back"
"Yeah sure thing" beamed Leno.
Mika thought it was odd that Leno did not argue back. It was even more odd that he was smiling so much. Surely there was something he was missing.
"Surprise!" shouted a hoard of sector twelve as Mika and Leno entered. Leno patted Mika on the back.
"So busy thinking about other people, you don't even rememebr your birthday. Especially since you couldn't wait to catch up to me" chuckled Leno. Mika made a poor attempt at a smile but it did nothing to cover up his shock. It was clear from the food laid out that people had been saving their rations for at least a week. No wonder most people didn't eat much in the last few days. Oddly enough aunt Mara and Judi hadn't hassled anyone about it either. It made sense now. Everyone was saving up for his birthday. His eyes began to well up but aunt Mara rushed to his rescue. She embraced him in a hug giving him enough time to will the tears away.
"Happy seventeenth birthday Mika" she cried, like a proud mother. She always got emotional on these days. Sector twelve prided themselves on their sense of community and being able to have small celebrations every now and again. It helped light a candle in their small lives.
"Well come 'ere boy. Let me have a good look at you. You are seventeen now right. That means you and Leno are the same age. And Judi is still sixteen, eh he he" chuckled a voice from behind the crowd. This time Mika did not blush. He knew who it was that pulled such jokes. It was the oldest member of sector twelve and probably the whole of the slave settlement. It was the old man known as Old Timer Joe although his real name was John Bearguard. He wore a shaggy overcoat with several pathces in it as well as holes that revealed his dirty shirt underneath. He had an untamed beard that fell to his chest. It was singed in places where the sparks from the furnaces had caught on. The left side of his face had a scar running from his temple to the side of his mouth. His hair was messy and knotted together in places. Old Timer Joe slumped againt the wall with a walking stick in his hand. Of course he could walk but he insisted on having one because he claimed that if he were free at his sixty six years of age he would have had a walking stick. So as a way of defining his free will he carried one around whilst in sector twelve.
Mika walked over to him before he could get up.
"Well done Mika, you are almost a man now" rumbled Joe as he patted Mika on the shoulder.
"Can I get you something to eat Joe?"
"No you cluts, its your birthday, for once let others do something for you. Anyway you don't need to tell me to start eating, I've already begun. Ha ha ha", bellowed Joe as he got to his feet and started towards the food.
Leno watched on as Mika became lost in the crowd of well wishers. He took some time to eat some food himself since he was famished. Later on, as he was about to tuck into a biscuit he overheard something. It was Old Timer Joe and a man from sector twelve named Woody. They were speaking in hushed voices which was especially strange for Joe who liked to always laugh ridiculously loud when having a conversation. Leno turned the other way and pretended to be aloof but listend in closely.
"They say people from sector eight saw him work at the furnaces on Monday but then Mellow from sector sixteen swears on his life that he saw the man work in the slaveyard on the Wednesday before. Plus I saw him walk towards the laboratories the other day" whispered Woody with a gleeful expression on his face. He was loving it that Joe was completely unaware and that he was the one who was informing him. Joe's opinion was of high value here.
"Well that is suspicious. How can the guy be working everywhere. It is near impossible. But you know what Mara said. She said not to go anywhere near the man. Just stay away. The only problems we should have is with Tyson, Leno and Mika. Judi is watching over Leno and Mika and Ivan has been keeping an eye on Tyson"
Leno flinched when his name was mentioned. What was going on? How had he not noticed something this strange? And now that he thought about it, everything made sense. Judi had been extremely watchful recently. Of course she had a convenient reason everytime but she hadn't gotton past Leno's curious nature. No. He had sensed something was up. But from this conversation it was clear there was more people involved. Who else, thought Leno. He looked around at all the happy faces. It was either a select few or probably the whole sector but then what was so important that such extensive measures needed to be put in place? Leno made his way out of the sector twelve to clear his head. He couldn 't think properly in such an atmosphere where everyone seemed as though they were wearing a mask. He felt slightly betrayed. Of course he knew if anyone was keeping secrets it was for his own good but this time he couldn't help feeling side-lined, especially because Judi was in on it.
As Leno made his way through the network of tunnels he failed to notice the vast emptiness surrounding it. No one was in sight and worse still very few sounds were to be heard. But to Leno only his thoughts were to be heard. He kept pondering on what was going on, repeatedly scanning through his thoughts to find answers where he might have missed them. It was this that made Leno so unprepared for what was about to happen. As Leno paced across the tunnels starring hard at the beaten earth he failed to notice a man walking up to him. The man made no attempt to step aside but simply stood rooted on the spot waiting for the inevitable crash. It came soon enough. What was even more surprsing was when Leno found himself knocked back to the floor even though the man had his hands in his pockets. He had been thrown off his feet merely by the physical strength of the man being far superior to his own.
Leno looked up, his face flushed from the embarrassment. The man smiled and Leno saw his eyes. They were amber that pierced the gloomly lights of the tunnels. They pierced right through him and it felt as though a warden had driven its spear through him. Leno was rooted to the spot unable to get back up to his feet. Leno felt something he hadn't felt in a long time. He couldn't swallow and sweat started to trickle down his face, not because he had been working but for some other reason. His mouth hung open and the many words that he wished to speak stuck in his throat. He felt a jolt in his stomach as he realised the now unfamiliar smell of fear. Dark, poisonour fear. Leno was afriad, so afraid he couldn't move, speak or think. And all the while those radient eyes continued to stare at him, fixated on his whole being.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hey you've already posted chapter 9. And I'm still stuck on reviewing chapter 4. But it was worth it. I literally don't have any complaints here. Usually I scroll down checking how long the chapters are. (I do that for everyone's posts unless it's really, really interesting and I don't have time to scroll down. I just want to read) Well that's what happened here. I was completely lost in the story this time. You told the story better this time from the first para till the last one. And I've got to agree with Noelle. The last paragraph gave me goosebumps. You know, if you write a horror story, do tell me. I'd sure want to read one. What I liked here most was your balance of show and tell. Usually I would complain about there being too much description and all but not here. I could actually understand each character now. (I'm talking about the new characters.) And I could envision everything much better. I hope you keep writing like this in all other chapters.
Hi there!
I'm guessing that this is the guy everyone told him to stay away from.
Whoa, that last paragraph gave me chills. Literally. The words you chose and the way you crafted them together is amazing. You didn't simply tell us there was a guy Leno was scared of, you showed us. Props to you!
Overall this was a good chapter. I like the interaction between Judi, Leno, and Mika. I learned a lot about them. You did a good job continuing to develop your characters. Your imagery is good as well. There isn't a lot of it, but it's good. I especially like how you link imagery into your descriptions. Like with the birthday party (happy birthday to Mika!). You described the scene of the party and then linked it to the fact that people hadn't been eating much for a while.
Can't wait to read more. Keep writing!
**Noelle**