16+ Violence

Prophecy of Thieves [chapter 17.2]

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

Just as Rieka had said, the blizzard ceased just before dawn. Despite having crammed into the far corners of the cave, the snow creeped into their makeshift shelter, reaching in vain for their toes. Amani grasped for sleep, but it never came. Perched atop her horse hours later, she swayed with exhaustion.

Ice struck the bare skin at the nape of her neck and Amani stiffened, her spine going erect. Her eyes darted to Shadya who grinned wickedly.

“Don’t get your gloves wet,” she warned. “Your fingers will freeze.”

“Let her have a little fun,” Rieka barked from ahead.

Shadya’s grin fell and she reached to the cliff on her left to gather more snow. She strained in her saddle and before Amani could stop her, lobbed the snow directly at Rieka. Her aim was exact, and it struck the small woman’s face.

Rieka’s eyes bulged and she wiped the snow from her cheeks, her pale skin flushing red.

“Thank you,” Shadya said sardonically. “That was fun.”

Ren laughed, his voice echoing through the slopes. “Gods, am I glad we brought you along,” he told Shadya. “The only other person here with a decent sense of humor.”

“I’ll throw snow at you,” Shadya warned, her eyes narrowing on Ren.

He raised his hands in surrender, a smirk pulling at his lips. “I’d rather you didn’t.”

Shadya watched him a beat longer before turning back to the road ahead. The horses were slow moving, the thick snow difficult to maneuver through. The longer they had walked, the worse it had gotten, the piles reaching for the horses’ knees.

Amani squinted against the glare reflecting off of the untouched snow. The winding path before them was obscured by tall pines and endless white. Any potential landmarks disappeared beneath the aftermath of the blizzard, and she couldn’t be entirely sure that they weren’t just riding in circles. It wasn’t until a cliff’s edge became visible through the snow that she was sure of their progression.

Rieka noticed it just as she did. “We’ll want to dismount before we hike along that,” she called out.

Everyone murmured their assent, a tension falling upon their shoulders that had passed since early morning. The hours of dawn had been a series of close-calls. From their horses scrambling for purchase on the slick roads to their struggle to walk through the waist high snow drifts, she knew it was only a matter of time before something went wrong.

Fortunately, Zain was behind Ren, putting the thief between them. The prince had set up their procession precisely, and while he didn’t disclaim his logic, it was obvious. Rieka led, which was wise due to her axe and experience with the terrain. Covering the rear was Kai, the only other weapon bearer. And that left the weakest in the very middle: Amani and Shadya.

Rieka hadn’t failed to point out her evident shortcomings. While Amani knew the girl was no immediate threat—not like Zain—Rieka’s obvious dislike for her could prove worrisome should Amani be in a dangerous predicament. She decided not to dwell on that matter—not when she was currently in a dangerous predicament.

When they reached the steep cliff, they all dismounted their horses, their feet sinking into the snow. Her fur-lined, leather trousers managed to keep out the wet cold, but it began to seep in through the gap between her boots and cuffs.

The road followed the cliff, the wall of the mountain steep on her left shoulder. Amani turned to place it at her back, and reached out to grab hold of Shadya’s arm. Her sister peered up at her with fearless eyes, her brows raised.

Amani turned back to the edge. The drop was steep, the bottom a distant smudge of grey. A fall would undoubtedly be fatal.

Her eyes roamed to land on Zain, marking his proximity to her and Shadya. He was a few paces away—far closer than he had been on horseback. She doubted that it was a coincidence.

“First, the bridge of death. Now this.” Ren’s voice quavered along with the wind. “I’m not sure I like Styrka.”

“I’m sure Styrka doesn’t like you,” Rieka responded, peering over the edge, her features stoney. While her mask of indifference was a good one, her skin had gone unusually pale—the only indication of the fear that thrummed through her veins. She lifted her chin and grasped the reins of her horse, positioning herself on the side closer to the stone wall. “Well, let’s go.”

Amani glanced from her horse to Shadya. “Stay close,” she murmured, releasing her hold on her sister’s coat. Her heart pounded a rapid and steady rhythm in her chest, off beat with her sluggish steps. As she moved her legs through the thick, powdery snow, the cold seeped deeper past her boots, chilling her skin.

Her horse stumbled as a ledge of snow broke off and tumbled down the cliff. Amani watched it disappear into the fog before turning her eyes back to the road. She glanced constantly over her shoulder, checking on Shadya’s progression. After her fifth glance, her sister scowled.

A chill not courtesy of the cold slithered over her skin, piercing her heart. Something was wrong.

Amani stilled, halting the others behind her. She glanced first to Shadya, who watched with raised brows, then to Zain who held no expression at all. Something was wrong, she knew it.

“Hurry up!” Rieka barked, almost to the end of the steep cliff.

Amani breathed deeply, easing her pounding heart, and started ahead once more.

A crack resounded, vibrating through Amani’s feet. Her heart, beating mercilessly moments before plummeted to her stomach.

“Shadya,” she warned. “Get back.”

Instead of obeying her order, Shadya released the reins and took a step forward. The ground beneath her feet broke.

Amani gasped, and a scream pierced her ears that belonged to none other than her sister. She reached up blindly, her hands catching on sharp, cold stone. A mute pain stung her palms as the rock ripped open the cloth of her gloves down to skin. Her horse screeched as it plummeted to the depths below. She never heard it land.

“Shadya!” Amani gasped, blinking back tears from the fierce wind. Her sister was hanging just beside her, but her hands weren’t gripped upon the stone. No, her wrists were held by Zain.

Amani’s eyes widened, the terror already buzzing in her veins increasing tenfold. He had her. It would be so easy for him to splay his fingers and let her go. The thought of it was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

“Please,” Amani whispered. Begged. Zain met her eyes before turning back to Shadya. Thoughts churned in his irises, unmasked. There were witnesses should he release her. Did he care?

Before she had breath enough to beg once more, Zain grunted, pulling Shadya up and over the ledge.

Relief flooded her so strong her fingers almost slipped. Shadya was okay. She would live. That was all that mattered.

Light, nimble fingers wrapped around Amani’s wrists and she glanced up at Ren. His eyes were wide; panicked. He was far too weak to hold her from the cliff's edge, let alone pull her up. He was already slipping just trying to support her.

Her hands shifted, and she gasped, catching herself by her fingertips. Her nails ripped from their beds and her blood mingled with the melted snow, slicking the stone beneath her skin. Amani’s breath shuddered out of her chest in sharp exhales, and her arms shook from holding herself. She refused to give in. She had sworn to survive, and she would uphold that promise.

“Don’t look down,” Ren squeaked, still pulling at her arms to no avail. His face had turned a distinct shade of green.

“Move aside,” a low voice commanded, and Ren’s hold on her released. Her hands tightened on the stone with the lost support and she felt her fingers loosening. Death couldn’t take her now. She couldn’t leave Shadya alone.

Then Kai and Zain were both above her, their hands grasping her forearms. They planted their feet into the ground and heaved. Her body began to inch forward and she released her grip on the stones, her fingers stiff. Her shoulders strained in their sockets as they pulled, and she kicked out her legs, scrambling for purchase.

Her eyes darted around in search of Shadya, and when she found her, the breath gushed from her lungs. She stood beside Ren, their bodies pressed close to the wall of the mountain. Shadya’s mouth was agape, her skin pallid.

When Amani’s feet were on solid ground and Kai and Zain released her, she wasted no time before hurrying to her sister. “Are you okay?” she murmured, patting down Shadya’s hair and arms. Her hat had been lost to the ravine.

Shadya nodded, reaching up to grab hold of Amani’s hand, stilling it. They stood like that, Amani knelt before her sister, their hands clasped. Her blood seeped into the cloth of her Shadya’s gloves, but neither of them seemed to care.

Kai cleared his throat after a few beats. “The path is now closed off,” he said. “We’ll have to circle back.”

Amani turned to stare across the gaping hole in the road to where the prince and Rieka stood. They had made it over the thin road, their forms a blur.

“We should move before the road caves in again,” Zain said.

Amani pushed herself to her feet, her knees quaking as the adrenaline eased from her bloodstream. She kept her body between Shadya and the cliff, not daring to look down the slope. Despite the weakness in each muscle and the fragile beat of her heart, she stepped forward, trudging through the deep marks they had already left in the snow.

Zain hadn’t killed her or Shadya yet again. While doing so would’ve incriminated him, the thought still unnerved her. Death had been watching the threads that tied her and Shadya to the world, ready to cut them at a moment's notice, but She had been evaded once again.

Amani should’ve been relieved—grateful—but instead, she only felt a deep, endless foreboding. The feeling was a common one, always simmering beneath the surface. Yet, now, it was impossible to ignore. Even when they made it back onto the flat expanse away from the steep fall, that feeling refused to abate.

Amani kept Shadya tight against her side as her eyes wandered the forest, her ears peeled. The trees loomed over her as they had before, casting steep shadows across the path. The absence of her horse became tangible, despite her lack of connection with the beast. She had never even named it, but it had still gotten her miles from Reindale, and now it was gone. Lost in the depths of the Kiertsk mountains, its carcass left to freeze.

Shadya kept silent as they retraced their steps to find a different path. Her mood had visually dimmed, her expression solemn. Dread and guilt pooled in Amani’s gut. Shadya had almost died and it was her fault. If she had been more careful or more vigilant, no risk would’ve come to her sister. She pondered for the hundredth time if Shadya’s fate would’ve been better left in Reindale. The fate of being controlled by Madame Bastelle against the possible death she would experience along the journey.

But looking down at Shadya, she was sure she had made the right choice. Perhaps out of selfish desires to keep her sister near, but also for the possibility of freedom.

The stinging in her hands began to take effect and she glanced down at her torn palms. Deep gouges cut through her skin, her gloves in shreds. Each of her nails were broken and torn, her nail beds oozing blood. She tucked her hands into the pockets of her coat and breathed in the scent of Styrka—of the pine and snow; of the brutal wild and proximate death. It froze in her lungs, piercing her chest. Yet, it was hauntingly beautiful; clarifying.

Amani had always wondered if Death would be the same. Just as horrifyingly beautiful. For Shadya’s sake, she hoped it would be a while yet until she truly discovered it.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Hi mordax,

Mailice back with another review! :D

That was a great rollercoaster ride of emotions you showed us there. I'm very surprised and positively delighted to read that during the quiet minutes of fun, danger still lurks and there was also a brief moment of breathlessness when Zain and Shadya were together. A great " connection chapter" you have presented there.

I loved how Shadya got to play in the snow at the beginning (and I think that was also one of the first times in a long time where you heard her actively speaking?) and Ren also had some kind of brief interaction with her. I think that was a great opportunity to let the core group grow together with Amani and Shadya. A bit of a childish, but great fun, where I guess a bit of carelessness takes precedence. On helps to see the snow as more of a great thing than a possibility of death.

But I think the highlight was the short fall of Shadya and how Zain held her. I thought you portrayed and described that well. I also thought you handled Amani's feelings extremely well, and how you also tried to change perspective at that moment. You saw a bit of Zain and what he was thinking, but I thought you did a great job of keeping it a bit veiled. I think it gives him a sense of security and the group sees him more as the silent helper, which makes him more trusting and less likely to come forward once he's planning his murder.

Again, I liked how you always manage to keep the focus of the story straight, but always with a new motivation, whether it's planning the mission in detail or playing unabashedly in the snow, it's moving forward. It helps the characters to develop but also to look at something bigger than just this one moment.

Have fun writing!

Mailice

Thank you very much!!

User avatar
starlitmind
Review

Hey hey! :)

Just as Rieka had said, the blizzard ceased just before dawn.


Haha this is super nitpicky, but I thought I'd point it out since I usually don't have anything else to offer you! ^_^ There's a bit of repetition here that's close together, so I personally don't think it would hurt to change it!

She strained in her saddle and before Amani could stop her, lobbed the snow directly at Rieka. Her aim was exact, and it struck the small woman’s face. Rieka’s eyes bulged and she wiped the snow from her cheeks, her pale skin flushing red.

“Thank you,” Shadya said sardonically. “That was fun.”


I LOVE SHADYA SO MUCH SHE IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER

I'm surprised Rieka didn't retaliate or anything haha xD

“First, the bridge of death. Now this.” Ren’s voice quavered along with the wind. “I’m not sure I like Styrka.”


Ah no, Ren had such a hard time on the "bridge of death' -> I feel bad for him for having to face another situation like this again (and of course, I feel bad for the rest of the group too)

A chill not courtesy of the cold slithered over her skin, piercing her heart. Something was wrong.


0.0 is somebody about to slip and fall or something ahsjlf

Instead of obeying her order, Shadya released the reins and took a step forward. The ground beneath her feet broke.


So like how come it didn't break under Amani too - I thought Shadya stepped were Amani was? I think I'm just having a hard time visualizing this scene (and it may just be my problem xD). like hmm, how much of the ground exactly broke? is there a gap in the middle of the path now?

but also SHADYA NOOOOOOO

Her horse screeched as it plummeted to the depths below.


oops rip horsey ;-;

Her sister was hanging just beside her, but her hands weren’t gripped upon the stone. No, her wrists were held by Zain.


I think this part is a bit confusing with the "hers" -> like on my first read, I wasn't sure who the "but her hands" was referring to ^_^

OHH WAIT I THINK I MISUNDERSTOOD THIS WHOLE SCENE. Did both Amani and Shadya fall? I thought it was just Shadya because it said "the ground beneath her feet broke," so I thought the singular "her" meant it was only Shadya. But then Ren was pulling Amani up. So that's why Amani was holding on to rock ohh and that clears up another thing I brought up before. OHH AND THEY ARE BOTH HANGING okay maybe I'm just seriously dumb but I completely misinterpreted the scene. I think just saying "the ground beneath both of their feet broke" or something would make this make more sense to me -> otherwise I would just assume only Shadya fell. Sorry for the confusion xD
if this rant made zero sense, basically, I think it would help to clarify that the ground beneath both Shadya and Amani fell c:

She stood beside Ren... When Amani’s feet were on solid ground...


Wasn't Amani already standing, so wouldn't she already be on solid ground? Or did she need something more stable?

Death had been watching the threads that tied her and Shadya to the world, ready to cut them at a moment's notice, but She had been evaded once again.


Ooh it's cool how you're personifying death!! c: I think that's pretty neat; although, I don't think you need to capitalize "She"? Like with people you don't capitalize pronouns, so I don't see why it would work for Death. Or, maybe it's like how when referring to God, "He" is capitalized? If that's the case, please ignore me haha ^_^

Lost in the depths of the Kiertsk mountains, its carcass left to freeze.


Ooh, what a chilling image that matches with the uneasy atmosphere forming

Shadya had almost died and it was her fault.


Aww no it wasn't :( you had warned her to stay back, so you did all that you could do <3

For Shadya’s sake, she hoped it would be a while yet until she truly discovered it.


Almost all of Amani's actions and thoughts are based on Shadya, and that is just so sweet :'))

OKAY that chapter was just AHSDFJKL. You are really good at creating tension and suspense in general, and the moment the sisters fell was super intense too :O Another thing you are super good at is including emotions in your action! Like a certain scene isn't just full of heart racing action or a bunch of details - you also weave in emotions, and it fits so flawlessly and adds so much to the story! I really love that part of your writing :)

And that's all I got for you; I hope these thoughts prove useful to you, and I can't wait to read the next chapter! ^_^

Ahh thank you again!! And yes... it seems I need to clarify who some of those pronouns are regarding, lol

User avatar
Honora
Review
Honora wrote a review · Sat Jun 12, 2021 9:10 pm

hello again! :D

From their horses scrambling for purchase on the slick roads to their struggle to walk through the waist high snow drifts, she knew it was only a matter of time before something went wrong.
Okay, so this could just be my brain that isn't understanding through my own stupidity but I don't really get what you mean by purchase in this sentence. I don't know how to explain it so I'll just give you and example of what came to mind
Example: From their horses scrambling to gain a proper foothold on the slick roads to their struggle to walk, etc...
Make sense? (As I keep reading, you used it again so it could just be an expression I've never come across before)

Her blood seeped into the cloth of her Shadya’s gloves, but neither of them seemed to care.
Here, I think you started saying something and then decided on something else. [b]her Shadya's
is the place I'm talking about. It should be one or the other ;)

Each of her nails were broken and torn, her nail beds oozing blood.
I'm sorry but this is the greatest kind of pain out there. If my nails could wince, they definitely would!

Anyways, other then those couple things, I didn't see anything else.

Awww...how cute...Zain saved her life. Maybe its the dark side of me but I'm chuckling at the irony. I do like how you made his calculating mind obvious as he was the only one holding onto her. It makes him even darker then how you've previously portrayed him. I don't really know how to explain it properly but it has a way of pulling me into the book and the characters and the storyline even more so you know, I'll take it as a good thing :D

Anyways, I don't think I' going to get to your next chapter today but I'm hoping to soon! Yes, yes that means I technically lied to you earlier so my apologies :-P

Keep up the great work! :D :D :D
Honora



Democracy! Bah! When I hear that word I reach for my feather Boa!
— Allen Ginsburg