Hi again mordax!
My first impressions of this chapter is that it’s a nice ‘cool-down’ chapter from a previous big action scene, in which they killed the dragon. And yet there’s a sense of tension between the characters. Ambrose seems uncomfortable with his position among the group, as though he thinks he’s a weak link, and Rieka seems to dislike him, or at least be at odds with him philosophically as well.
The setting of the snow and the cave around the dragon’s carcass isn’t zoomed in upon, but it does help set the grim atmosphere in the back of my mind. It’s a very intense scene, even with the light-hearted moments precipitated by Ren, and I get the sense that these characters in general are very intense people.
Characters
So Ambrose is the prince’s name! I quite like him. From what I gather, in this chapter, he’s reflecting on what his original goal was, which seems to be to get the sword (which they had to get from the dragon somehow), and to use it to help his kingdom. He seems to be a determined person, and also a contemplative one. I think that Rieka considers his contemplation to be ‘wallowing’ also reflects her character in an interesting way, as she seems to prefer repressing things rather than mulling them over.
If Ambrose turned, he would be able to see the full beauty of it over the tips of the snowy mountains. Instead, he remained watching the dead beast as though it would begin to breathe again.
I thought this was a good way to show his internal conflict. It also portrays him as being a more passive character than Rieka is, as observing is sort of keeping still, whereas Rieka in this scene keeps moving around. I like the idea of putting these two contrasting characters in a scene together, as it highlights their differences.
Unlike the other chapter I read, this one isn’t from Rieka’s point of view. Something I notice about how she appears from Ambrose’s perspective is that she seems a lot more disagreeable. She comes across as being older, too, especially with how Ambrose emphasises that she is a “soldier”.
At first I was thinking ‘wow, was Rieka this edgy in the other chapter?’, because of parts like:
“Do you wish you had killed it?” he asked.
A grin tugged at her lips. “With a burning passion.”
She had told him of her failed warrior’s initiation two years prior.
But I remember that her society has this warrior culture to it, and then figured her behaviour must be considered pretty normal where she lives.
After several beats of silence, Rieka blurted, “Why are we just staring at this thing? It almost killed me. I should be tearing off its limbs and tossing them off the mountain.”
This is a side to her I hadn’t seen when I reviewed a different chapter ( I think this chapter comes before, though, so maybe that impression should be the other way around . . .). She seems very agitated. Though I previously had the impression that she did things based on practicality, here I get a sense of pride, as though even though there’s nothing to be gained by destroying the dragon’s corpse, it would soothe her injured pride from not being able to defeat it herself.
Ren watched his hands idly as though he was not wholly aware of the tricks he was doing. A dark curl flopped before his eyes, and he did not bother brushing it back. It looked soft, delicately brushing against his dark lashes and the smooth, brown skin of his forehead. Ambrose pondered what he was thinking.
I did get the sense when reading this bit that Ambrose might find Ren attractive, and the ending when Ren kind of seems to be flirting to him and Ambrose’s reaction to that also contributes to that impression. I wonder if this will lead anywhere? Ren, like Rieka, seems to be an opposite to Ambrose, just in a different way.
Style
A glimmer of its white spine could be seen in the sea of red.
This is a really nice detail that helps to show how much the dragon had been butchered, so to speak. It conveys the goriness and horror of what had happened in a concrete way.
If Ambrose turned, he would be able to see the full beauty of it over the tips of the snowy mountains.
I like how this line subtly gives a sense of the physical space Ambrose is in. I know from reading it that they’re in a mountainous region, and in terms of altitude possible in the middle of it, where the peaks of the mountains are still higher than him, but not so high as to be completely invisible.
The logic was abysmal, of that he was aware. He chose to fail completely rather than attempt to succeed. It was the actions of a pitiful fool. He supposed that was what he was.
The use of words like “abysmal”, “pitiful fool” does make this seem like a dramatic internal monologue, so Rieka’s comment about the wallowing makes sense in this light. I may be remembering this incorrectly, but the phrasings in this line do make Ambrose’s point of view seem more . . . princely, or at least that he talks in a distinctly different way than the other characters.
“Aren’t you going to help, you sack of shit?” . . .
“Are we going to leave anytime soon, or what?” Rieka said, watching the others with her hands on her hips.
The many lines like these, combined with how Rieka seems to swear more often than all the other characters combined, do give me the impression that she’s very tense and eager to leave all throughout the chapter. Was that intentional? It feels like while Ambrose seems to have more ups and downs in his emotions, Rieka seems to be consistently feeling one thing, which doesn’t give the reader much of a breather. Maybe it’s building up to something later? I’m not sure.
Their bodies were frozen, skin blue and sunken against their bones.
From this chapter and the other one I’ve read, I can tell you’re good with gritty descriptions like these that lend a level of reality to the story.
Much like death and blood, he had grown accustomed to the sharp, numbing pain Styrka induced.
This one is a more abstract description, but I liked it nonetheless. I think Ambrose’s thoughts seem to be more abstract and intellectualised than for Rieka’s in general, so this line seemed to contribute to his characterisation.
That’s all
Feel free to ask me anything about this review or ask for more feedback.
Keep writing!
-Lim
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