16+ Language

Prophecy of Thieves [chapter 14.2]

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

They had been walking for what felt like hours. The sun was nowhere in sight and Rieka found herself anxiously searching the sky, waiting for dawn to break. The light would demolish the shadows that hid them, leaving them truly vulnerable.

The prince led the way, though his knowledge of the landscape was no better than the rest of them. His trusted map was burned to ashes in the inn along with the rest of his documents. He kept claiming they weren’t far from the meeting zone they had designated Zain, Shadya, and Amani to go to, but Rieka knew it was a lie.

Other than his occasional affirmations that they weren’t lost, a blanket of silence settled over them. Ren still seemed pissed about the entire heist—likely moping over some idea that the could’ve done better. Kai was no doubt replaying the guard’s death hours before. And Rieka… She tried not to think about Tanya.

“Hey,” Rieka said, sidling beside Kai. She didn’t truly wish to talk to him, but it was better than being trapped with her thoughts.

Kai shot her a look, his brows drawn low.

“Thank you,” she said, turning to stare at the prince’s back. She didn’t bother laughing as he stumbled over a pile of fallen pine needles. “For helping me with that guard.”

“I killed him,” Kai growled. “That’s hardly something to be thanked for.”

“He was going to kill me. After me, he would’ve killed you, Ren, and the prince.”

“So you are saying he deserved to die?”

“I’m saying you had no other choice.” Rieka’s hissed whisper began to rise. Why couldn’t he just accept her gratitude? For once she was trying to be nice, and he returned it by being an ideological ass.

“There is always another choice! Violence isn’t the only option!”

Rieka rolled her eyes. “Spoken like a true saint,” she mocked.

“Says the one who punches her way out of any mess.”

Rieka shrugged. “It works.”

“No, it’s easy. And amoralistic. Although, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you lack morals given your history.”

Anger flared in the pit of her stomach and she stopped. She didn’t bother to see if Ren and the prince continued as she grabbed Kai’s arm, halting him. “Don’t presume to know anything about me. I’m sorry you had to kill that man. I really am. But it wasn’t my fault you did it and it isn’t me you should be taking your guilt out on. You chose to kill him, so whose morals are really at stake here?”

Kai glared, his jaw clenching and unclenching. The wind was the only sound, blustering between them as Rieka glared back.

A sharp whistle cut through the tension, and Rieka and Kai both jolted and stared at Ren. “While this tension is hot and steamy, I think we should keep moving. If you are opposed, then just kiss already and be done with it so we can quit waiting around for the inevitable.”

Rieka’s eyes narrowed and Kai sputtered angrily. “I have no desire to kiss him,” Rieka spat, shoving past Ren and marching off into the shadows. It took all of a second until Ren caught up.

“Oh? But you do have a desire to kiss that Styrkish girl?”

“What?” Rieka barked, slamming to a stop.

“I mean, you looked at her like I look at chocolate tarts locked behind a glass window. I want them, but I can’t have them. Although, with my extensive thieving skills, I suppose—”

“I didn’t look at her like that,” Rieka said, blood flooding to her cheeks.

Ren shrugged. “Makes no difference to me.” He turned to wink at the prince, and even in the dark, the man’s blush was visible.

“Tanya was a close friend of mine,” Rieka grumbled. “It wasn’t like that.”

“I had a close friend once,” Ren mused, glancing up at the sky.

Rieka shot him a look. “We were raised together. She was my blood in all ways that counted.”

“Trust is a fickle thing, wouldn’t you say, Rieka darling?” Ren said with a dramatic flourish of his hand. Rieka narrowed her eyes in his direction and he shrugged. “Even our most beloved can betray us.”

“Tanya never betrayed me,” Rieka snapped. “She was loyal to Styrka as any proper citizen should be.”

Ren scoffed. “What is it with you Styrkish? You act like loyalty to your country is your sole personality trait.”

“What loyalty do you have?” Rieka retorted. “Other than your devotion to gold?”

Ren chuckled, reaching out to clap Rieka on the back. She shrugged off his hand. “Gold doesn’t betray you.”

Rieka crossed her arms over her chest as she trudged through the bramble. Ren was wrong. She couldn’t find the words to prove it so, but she knew. Her nails bit though the furs covering her arms, pinching at her skin. The slight pain was a relief and she only clenched her biceps tighter. But even that pain did little to keep the memories at bay.

Rieka stalked ahead of the others, her head low and shadowed. Even in the night with darkness enshrouding all signs of beauty in the forest, everything was familiar. The crunch of pine underfoot. The fresh scent of snow. The crisp breeze biting her cheeks.

Those aspects of Styrka were nothing new. One could find a crisp breeze in Arlan any day of the winter. Yet it felt so originally Styrkish. It was her home.

Tanya’s face appeared in her mind again, though this time, it wasn’t the grown woman she had seen in the fortress. It was the face of a child—cheeks rounded in youth, eyes wide with endless dreams.

Tanya had her dreams decided at the age of ten. Rieka remembered because she herself had been clueless. She wasn’t talented in anything while Tanya succeeded. It had never bothered her—not when Tanya still chose to be her friend. But when Tanya announced her dream of joining the Chief’s council, it was the first time Rieka truly wished against her friend’s happiness.

They had blood-sworn to each other to stick together long before Tanya’s dreams. They had joined blood and soul to never be apart. But Tanya’s ambitions went further than their measly childhood friendship.

Now that she was grown, Rieka could hardly blame her. They were children. A blood-swear at the age of six was hardly credible. Tanya had been the one to take charge in her life while Rieka had based her dreams on the hopes of staying close to her. The relationship was one-sided long before her banishment. Rieka had just been blind to seeing it.

A crack resounded in the dark and Rieka stopped, palming her axe. Her eyes searched the darkness, narrowing as though that would help her see through the shadows. Another twig snapped, closer this time. Kai sidled up beside her, his new dagger in hand. Whatever qualms he had against killing were forgotten now.

The snort of a horse broke through the tense silence, then the uttered cursing of a child followed by a gentle scolding. Rieka relaxed, rolling her eyes. “Stars, I about started swinging,” she growled as the moon cast light upon Amani, Zain, and Shadya.

Zain eyed her axe, not bothering to ask where she had gotten it. Instead, he said, “You’re late.”

“Got a little backed up is all,” Ren said with a grin. “Traffic, you know how it is.”

No one bothered to respond.

“Did you get the layout?” Amani asked, her arm wound protectively around her sister. Rieka stifled an eye roll. The woman was no doubt suffocating Shadya with her hovering presence. The girl was old enough to walk on her own.

“Yes,” the prince said, nodding to Ren who pulled the papers from his pocket with a triumphant grin.

“Only about killed ourselves to retrieve it, but here we are!” His words twisted sardonically, his smile remaining.

Amani glanced between them all as though seeing the unspoken words as clear as day. Rieka shoved past her and to her horse. “Well, let’s get moving. We should put as much distance from the city before the sun rises.”

The rest agreed and began packing up their horses. Despite exhaustion weighing upon her shoulders, Rieka was glad for the ride ahead of them. She wasn’t ready for sleep. She wasn’t ready to be stuck with her mind just yet.

As they spurred their horses into action, Rieka glanced up to the skies. The stars were beginning to fade as the dark blue lightened. Dawn was coming. But before the stars could disappear entirely, Rieka whispered her favorite prayer. The poetic Styrkish words rolled smoothly off her tongue.

Vistret na zvezny, ya osvech tamu somyavasta.” Look to the stars, for they light the darkness of doubt.

Rieka repeated the prayer once, twice, and then again until the words began to run into another. When she felt her throat clogging and her chest growing tight, she fell silent, her soul spent. With a sigh, she turned back to the road. Eyes prodded at her back and she glanced to the side to find Kai’s attention on her. She met his gaze, but he remained silent.

Despite herself, Rieka felt her cheeks warming. Styrkish prayer was vulnerable. Intimate. For an Arlanian man who was devout in his beliefs to have witnessed it felt wrong. Yet he did not protest her obviously different customs. He didn’t even seem angry or disturbed. Instead, his face was contemplative.

Rieka cast her eyes to her lap where the reins were resting in her palms. “I got sick the first time I killed,” she said softly, so quiet only Kai could hear. She couldn’t see him, but she felt his eyes on her. “It’s natural. To feel guilty and horrified like you do.”

“Do you wish you had done it differently? That you hadn’t killed them?”

Rieka paused. She didn’t need to consider her answer because she already knew, but it would only reaffirm Kai’s suspicions about her. She shouldn’t care, she told herself. His opinion hardly mattered. Yet, she didn’t want to be seen as an amoral barbarian. Despite that, she spoke the truth.

“No. I have nightmares about it, but I do not regret it.”

Kai was silent for a beat and she waited for the personal attack he would no doubt volley, but instead, he said, “Nor do I. I just wish there could’ve been another way.”

Rieka glanced up and met his eyes. His face was solemn, but open. She offered him a small smile. After a beat of hesitation, he returned it.

Comments & reviews · 4
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Hi mordax,

Mailice back with another review! :D

This was a short chapter, the likes of which I haven't read from you before. I like the structure and how the whole chapter is actually about what happened in the capital. I liked the whole dynamic of the group here and also how something very serious turned into triviality. I thought Rieka's subsequent reflection in particular was well done.

I found the conversation between Rieka and Kai at the beginning interestingly developed, as it once again shows well what different characters they both have and what their view of morality and survival is. Since no one but Zain knows that Kai's collar has burst in this one village, I'm curious when this moment will come when the rest of the group will find out. I wonder if something like this has ever happened near the prince. It's also nice to learn about the relationship between Rieka and Tanya.

In general, we have reached a point where I think that at least a core part of the group (Ren, Rieka, Kai and maybe Ambrose) know each other so well that they already complement each other in their sentences and questions. That has become all the more apparent in this chapter. With that said, it still results in the relationships of Amani, her sister and Zain and hope that in the coming chapters the focus is more on them. After all, they too have qualities that will be important at some point, right?

So that also concludes the first big mission, to get the map of this mountain. In general, I found it to be a good thing that while getting this map was the main focus, the story continued to revolve more around the characters and the situation. I thought it was well shot that you (at least I) partly forgot why they were in the capital in the first place because I was so focused on the characters.

Now I'm excited to see what happens next and what else the journey has in store for the characters. :D

Have fun writing!

Mailice

User avatar
starlitmind
Review

Hey hey! ^_^ I skimmed over 14.1 so I could remember where we left off, and I'm ready to jump right in! c:

The sun was nowhere in sight and Rieka found herself anxiously searching the sky, waiting for dawn to break.


OOH I really like this because I feel like this line could have two meanings: 1.) literally searching the sky for the sun to finally rise again, or 2.) she is searching the sky - her world? her heart? inside of herself? - to find a bit of light - comfort? closure? just a breakthrough in her pain? something to heal? So basically, while this is probably meant to be literal, I feel like the light could also be symbolic of something else, Rieka searching for something greater in the sky

“Thank you,” she said, turning to stare at the prince’s back. She didn’t bother laughing as he stumbled over a pile of fallen pine needles. “For helping me with that guard.”


Aww :')) I'm glad she thanked him

Why couldn’t he just accept her gratitude? For once she was trying to be nice, and he returned it by being an ideological ass.


While I feel Rieka's frustration, I do definitely feel for Kai, too. Taking someone's life, especially by someone who is really religious and upright and always does the right thing, must've been really hard on Kai. I feel for him </3

everything was familiar. The crunch of pine underfoot. The fresh scent of snow. The crisp breeze biting her cheeks.


It's nice to include all of the tiny details that are familiar to Rieka. It shows how much this place was home to her. And that's what makes her pain so easily felt and so heavy

But when Tanya announced her dream of joining the Chief’s council, it was the first time Rieka truly wished against her friend’s happiness.


Oh man that is a tough feeling 0.0

The relationship was one-sided long before her banishment. Rieka had just been blind to seeing it.


This is a hard realization to come to, and I'm glad Rieka was able to make it <3 I feel like this will help her heal, because it wasn't entirely her banishment that drew them apart. They probably would've separated even if she hadn't been banished, so maybe she won't feel so bad about their fallen friendship

The snort of a horse broke through the tense silence, then the uttered cursing of a child followed by a gentle scolding.


AHH IT'S ZAIN AND SHADYA AND AMANI! I wonder what they did and how they kept busy and safe while the rest were at the palace?

For an Arlanian man who was devout in his beliefs to have witnessed it felt wrong. Yet he did not protest her obviously different customs. He didn’t even seem angry or disturbed. Instead, his face was contemplative.


I didn't think Kai would be one to protest or act against different customs -> since he is pretty devout himself, I feel like he would respect other religions, like he did here c: this is pretty in line with his character, as he's often gentle and appreciative

She offered him a small smile. After a beat of hesitation, he returned it.


YAYYYY ENDING ON A WHOLESOME MOMENT!!! :D

I can feel that they, or at least Kai and Rieka, are getting a bit closer. I felt like the obstacles they would face would bring them together, and that's what I think is happening here. Those two fought a lot, maybe second to Ren and Rieka, so it's nice to see that they're warming up to each other a bit. Now Ren and Rieka can hopefully also get closer xD

OHHH AND I FORGOT ABOUT ZAIN AND AMANI OMG HAHA is he still planning to kill her? >.> I wonder how long it's going to take for the rest of the group to find out his true intentions, or for him to abandon them~

OKAY , I hope these thoughts prove useful to you! ^_^ Always a pleasure to read your work, and I can't wait to take a look at the next chapter!

User avatar
Shady
Review
Shady wrote a review · Thu May 27, 2021 7:54 am

Heya mordax,

Hope you're well! I noticed this chapter hanging out in the Green Room, so thought I'd swing by and give it a review ^-^

I haven't read the previous chapters, so take what I say with a grain of salt since I obviously don't have the full picture. But my overall impression is that you have a lot of characters. And if you've gotten them all well-grounded up to this point then that's probably fine! But the advice I've seen is to try to not have more than about 4 or 5 characters in any one scene. And, again, since I'm jumping in late you might be fine here -- but I was struggling a bit to keep up with who was talking about who. You just have a lot of names going on and I wasn't quite sure how they all fit together.

The other thing I noticed is that the tensions seemed to rise fast. Like, Rieka was making an effort to be nice. Then Kai explodes on her. And she explodes back. And then they're back to being somewhat amicable by the end. I assume this is at the end of a lot of tension so they're probably all wound-up from whatever happened before this, but was a little jarring. I think maybe sprinkling in more of her thoughts and/or body language could be helpful, so that it doesn't seem as startling when the argument starts.

Speaking of body language, though, I was having a bit of trouble envisioning this. You say it's dark but then there are some aspects that don't quite make sense if they can't see each other. Such as, blushing or giving each other "a look" or anything else that wouldn't be readily visible in the dark. If they're going by moonlight, maybe make that a bit clearer? Because right now, I'm envisioning it as a dark night, and in that case, they'd probably only see each other's outlines or something, not be able to see blushing or facial expressions.

Overall, though, really interesting story! You do a good job of sprinkling in plot points so that I can have a (very) vague sense of what's going on, even though I only have one little plot point out of the fourteen before this. I can tell you have a lot of world-building going into different countries and cultures and customs, and I think that adds to the interest of each unique character. Really cool concept!

Hope this helped!

~Shady 8)

User avatar
Honora
Review
Honora wrote a review · Tue Apr 20, 2021 9:16 pm

Wow...I should have waited longer and then I'd have more to read!! I can't believe I'm already on the last one :(

Ren still seemed pissed about the entire heist—likely moping over some idea that the could’ve done better.
Just a small mistake but the should be "they"

That's really the only error that I found and it was a small one at that. This is awesome Mordax...like seriously cool. I love it and hate it all at once. Love it because well, those are obvious reasons since I've repeated them so many times in my reviews. Hate it because it makes me so damn jealous of your talent! But despite that, I'm really happy for you! It must feel really nice to write such amazing work.

Also, I really like the deep side of Rieka and the soft side of Kai...finally! They're actually opening up to each other. This is what I've been waiting for! I always love the character dynamic that is evident through the book and again, you portray it beautifully. They will go back to hating each other by tomorrow but right now, they are forgiving and vulnerable. It's cute and the moment of trust is enticing.

It's also interesting seeing how their rolls have changed for the time being. Ren, who is usually the one that takes a minute for anything, is the one that's pushing them whereas Rieka and Kai are usually the ones in that position. I find it cool how they all change rolls when they need to. It's like one is taking charge while the others need a minute and vice versa. Some team playing whether they want to see it as that or not :-P

Anyways, that's all I have for you! Until next time! (Which I hope is soon btw) :D

Keep up the great work!
Honora

Again, thank you so much for your reviews!! They always make my day and you provide such great suggestions and commentary.



First you broke my moustache, now you break my heart.
— MaybeAndrew