Long Way Lost

Really, we should have known

A long time ago, lifetimes ago

That this road is long

And nothing of it is prayer.

That there is someone listening,

Just as long as you think there is.

(So clasp your hands, crane your head up at the sky so much that your neck breaks.)

Take one long look at that road,

Tell me what you’re thinking.

It might seem endless,

But trust me, it has one;

A blade thrust into an wound

To pull out another.

(The wound will rot, but leave it as a reminder.)

And now that we look upon it

Standing side by side,

It seems that we’re a long way from home,

As they all like to say.

(And still imagine that you can bargain to go back in time.)

Don’t turn around.

Keep running

Jump over the crevices,

Or fall in

And climb out bloody,

If you are sure that you want to.

But keep running,

Until you forget that you are

So far away from home,

Until you forget that

You even had one.

Because we’ve climbed over one too many mountains

And broken one too many bones under rocks and branches

That now it should only slow you down,

When you somehow remember it

Like a sigh in the darkness.

(Longing for a brush of sunlight, but afraid that it’ll all go away.)

Gather some wood,

Ignore the splinters.

Time is always running short,

So go on and build the pyre.

Burn your mother,

Burn your father.

And save some tears if you will.

Stow them away

Cover them with grime.

Then look into the flames,

Tell me what you see.

(Do you see the road, like it was never real in the fire?)

And some day it will end,

Some day you’ll see yourself lying dead

Limp on the road

You’ve been stumbling on.

And the fire

From your dead family’s pyre

Will be licking at your eyes.

(Find yourself wanting to go on because you can’t.)

So before your knees give out

Before you think that maybe

Your chest is too tight,

Take one short moment

To crouch on that road you’re walking,

And pick up a bleeding finger,

Remembering all that is crumbling behind you

Even as you wonder

If there is anything worth putting down.

(Wonder if you might be able to see the sunset if you write with the blood from your eyes.)

Look back one last time,

Stay long enough to make out the flames

That ate one too many things

One too many years ago.

(The sound of blood dripping is too loud.)

Remember them;

All the things that have rushed past you,

All the things that you now realize

You should be able to miss.

And the fact that

You can’t remember,

Not even the things with names and beating hearts

Rings empty in your head.

(Not being able to remember the sunlight.)

Take comfort in the simple fact

That one day you will sit down

With no road to walk on

And nothing to look back at.

Even the pyre will be gone,

The bodies have long since crumbled into ashes.

(And you’ll realize that the emptiness is better.)

We are a long way lost,

So tell me what you are thinking;

Staring up at the ashen sky,

Not knowing if you will burn under the sun.

(Longing became grey some time ago.)

Tell me,

Do you think that you could say

Out loud into where there’s no one listening

Where there will never be anyone listening,

This is the road I walked,

And I died here.

(The body is still on the road.)

And as you say those words

I hope you can realize

All the things that you always knew;

I hope you can also say

Keep on walking,

Because when you turned away from your home

It crumbled behind you.

Because what you see when you look back at where you came from

That is yourself trying to call you back.

Because we’re all a long way lost.