Young Writers Society

Hi!


Anon5 here to review your poem. I would like to start off by congratulating you; you are a capable poet. It is often hard for a writer to find the courage to sound as satiric as you did in this piece. It surely is pulling, I cannot deny. Your title is solid and attractive. You begin by creating an atmosphere that your readers immediately grab onto. You are instructing them, teaching them how to cry in a way that is unique to you and all mankind. Usually, I find it the most fitting to point out what I like about and what I think could be replaced in the poem. So here we go:


Likes:

1. Yes, I will begin with the end as it is my favourite part:

"This, again, might prove to be quite challenging

But do try.

Yes, you're doing great. t
Now walk to that window,

Push it open carefully.

Some cold wind will be great

To dry your face.

So there you go,

Now you're safe."

To be quite frank, for a moment, I was afraid the speaker would commit suicide as I began reading this. There is a thrill to it, a morbid one, that I anticipated. Yet you struck me with the exact opposite of that. You made sure that the speaker eventually found a moment of peace and serenity. The window perhaps symbolises hope in this case. I like that a lot. It's magical.


2. I like the fact that you're not trying too hard. Your words fit perfectly. You've written freely. Your humour is bitter and it is raw and you've handled conveying your message pretty well. This is excellent.


What I would change and why:


1. It's really only this part:

"Let the tissues absorb the mucus

Falling from your nostrils.

Gentle, remember, gentle.

Don't rub,

Or now your nose will be all red."

It kind of felt out of place. Especially when you wrote "absorb the mucus". There are many other ways you can word this. I guess it didn't quite fit the elegance of the rest of your poem.


I hope this helps.


Write more,
Anon5


Note: Rawness beautifies satire.

Hello there fellow writer, DrFeelGood to review your poem on this lovely review day. So let us begin!

Right of the bat when I noticed the title, I immediately became interested in seeing how you handle the poem. The title is extremely catchy and creates curiousity amoung the readers. Good job there!

Seeing as you have classified this under 'humor' category, I was also interested in seeing how you handle comedy in this poem. And to give a brutally honest feedback, I was disappointed! It was a pretty predictable poem and religiously followed what was suggested in the title. It's not a bad thing to do, but since this is under 'humor' category, I expected some madness in the poem.

Then let those tears fall.

It may be somewhat difficult

Hi there Kat here to review for you !

So, the whole time I was honestly bracing for something horrible like ....jumping out the window or ...something . But no, what I got was exactly what I came for, steps on how to cry . Nice. It just felt really comforting after I thought about it , I though of my own room . Poems like this are really relatable and can really speak to our readers . Normally, I would beg for more imagery ...but here I think the emptiness justifies the mood you're trying to create ad I believe that was a good idea on your point.

Nothing negative or lengthy just, thanks .

Hello! This is RainbowPowerPonies coming to review your work, mephistophelesangel. You can call me RPP if that's easier and faster for you. Now to your review!

This is beautiful, and there are teardrops on my keyboard. To tell you the truth I don't know why but I followed your steps and I cried very hard. Although this may not be meant to be taken literally it is a good way to see if you can cry anymore. But my favorite part was the end. The part about the side effects.

"(Side effects :

These steps may result in

What might strangely feel like

Something rotting inside your chest,

But don't worry at all.

That doesn't require any medical care,

And it is nothing that

Some well-placed words can't cover.)"

mephistophelesangel, let me tell you, this is amazing and well written. I couldn't find a way to improve it myself. This is as I said, beautiful.

So keep writing, follow your dreams, navigate the stars and become one as I read along with you.
Good Luck,
~RainbowPowerPonies